selecting child for adoption

Posted by expat2006 (874 days ago)

Hi, would anybody know how the matching of the adopted child go? We have requested for a child under the age of two, but been told that we must be prepared to accept children above the age of four. Our biggest concern is schooling, accepting foreign guardians as parents, and most importantly, adjustment from the country of origin to HK. My question is, if the child matched for adoption is not of the desired age, say 6 or 7, is it possible for us to say 'no' or are we obliged to accept without qualms? My other question is, if the child is not a toddler, is it possible to meet with the child to know how well you connect before you say 'yes'? What happens if you don't connect or for any reason say 'no' to the child matched? I believe we have to say 'yes' by only seeing a photo - am I right? Is the application rejected then? Any help is appreciated. Thanks.

(I am based in Singapore)

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Posted by Saikunga (874 days ago)

Where are you adopting from?
If from Hk you have a series of meetings with the children before the adoption is Oked so that both parties feel happy about their prospects and so does the adoption agency. Not sure about the option to say no.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by jassy67 (874 days ago)

Every Country has different stipulations and rules. Here in HK, they do not say be prepared to accept a child different than what you said on tbeh paperwork. Also, you will spend a few weeks getting to know the child to be there is a connection. You have 6 months to change your mind.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by expat2006 (874 days ago)

Hi saikunga and jassy67, thank you so much for your replies. We are adopting from overseas, not HK. At no point in the procedures is it stated that we as adoptive parents can meet with the child. If the child is over the age of 4, this is quite essential to know if we bond. Jassy, you said that there is 6 months period to change our minds. Would you know if this is also for overseas adoption? Returning the child in this case will be an expensive and in some way a difficult experience for the child. Will you be able to throw any light on the matter please? ANy other relevant experience is also welcome. Many thanks.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by aemom (874 days ago)

I think this forum is the wrong place for you to be getting this kind of information.

Each country has its own adoption laws - in Canada each province has its own laws - same for each state in the US. Since you have not stated the country from which you are adopting, nothing said here can be very pertinent to your question.

I suggest that you contact the government or an adoption agency of the country from which you are adopting to get the correct information to your question.

That said, it seems to me that if you are willing to travel to the country where the child resides, you would be able to get more information and probably meet the child.

In adoption, you absolutely have the right to say no, either at matching or after meeting the child. In some countries there is a waiting period before the adoption is finalized (eg. HK).

We've had two happy adoptions from HK - and said no to two others!

Good luck!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by abitnaive (873 days ago)

hi expat
as aemom pointed out, i don't think this forum can provide you with the answers you are looking for.
if you are adopting in canada, try a website like ivfconnections.com where they have a separate area called alternative parenting routes, and a sub area called adoption. there are people there adoption from us, canada, and international adoptions. i am sure someone there is adopting from the country you are adopting from and could link you with support groups.

also, you might want to contact the agency you are working with and ask them for support groups, or do an yahoo search for support groups. there are many out there and it is likely someone has had the same questions you have and the answers are out there. a google search will also likely provide many answers.


good luck and i hope your wait is very short.

abn

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by expat2006 (873 days ago)

Hi Aemom and abn, you are both right. I will be seeing the social services person to settle my concerns. Thanks for your good wishes regarding the wait. I hope too that it is short. I have been unsuccessful with internet searches regarding my concern and thought of posting it on the forum. I guess I will have to work this out directly with the social services person here. Thank you once again.

(I am based in Singapore)