DH exaggerates food cost

Posted by luojia (325 days ago)

This is the first DH i have. She kept exaggerating
food cost which is very annoying. I have to check the expense everyday and required her to get everything from supermarket where there is reciept. I hate micromanager her.

Does this happen to you too? She is good with housework and the new baby, but bad at cooking and shopping for food. I feel there is no trust between us and don't know if I should just fire her. I don't think i can change her perception that exaggerating cost is wrong. Probably she thinks we have a lot of money and food cost is no big deal.

this makes me feel very low and don't know if i want to try to get another DH again. But with the life style in HK, without my parents around to help, it seems impossible without DH.

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Posted by Katetam (325 days ago)

How does she exaggerate? You give her cash, ask her to buy the list of things you write down, she comes back with the receipt(s) and the change.

Posted by luojia (325 days ago)

I gave her $100, and check the reciepts in lumpsum. sometimes the supermarket doesn't have the vegi or bread we want, so she buys from local store/wet market, and just put an amount on the note that's way high. I am checking the bills everyday, but in the long run I may get slack on it, and she will go back the the behavior again.

Posted by Moppet (324 days ago)

If your helper is good in other ways then perhaps you can do the food shopping and cooking yourself. I always believe that it is unrealistic to expect these women to be good at everything and to choose a helper who is great at the most important aspect of having a helper to you IE childcare or housework if you have no kids. That way you can keep what is otherwise a good helper as there is no guarantee your next one will be any better.

Posted by GreenValleys (324 days ago)

Very good advice, Moppet. So many people expect their helpers to be brilliant in every aspect of their job, but that is usually an unreasonable expectation. You could fluke one but that would be the exception rather than the rule. Good luck, luojia. If you are satisfied with your helper's work generally then try to take back that part of the work that the helper doesn't do well. That could be a far better proposition than looking for another helper with the possibility of even greater problems.

Posted by cara (324 days ago)

HOWEVER.... if you can't trust her with this, do you feel you can trust her with your children?

maybe, instead of giving her $100 for the day, give her a lump sum at the begining of hte month and say... "this is all you get for the month, if there is any $ left over, i would like it back. i want EVERYTHING accounted for with receipts or a note". give her a book. at the top of the right hand side of the page write the monthly amount. then have her write down the date and any info (ie. veggies at market) on the left hand side. tape an envelope to the next page and have her keep all of the receipts in it.

that would save you having to go through it everyday. it would also mean that if she is exaggerating, then she won't have enough to last until the end of the month.

good luck!

Posted by tsuiwah (324 days ago)

I agree with cara.

I would terminate a helper if I felt she was consistently stealing money from me.

It's ok to say that you can't expect a helper to be good in everything, but it's ridiculous to say that you would accept stealing within your own household.

Posted by expat_abroad (321 days ago)

You must be sure of your facts but if your DH exaggerates the cost of household purchases resulting in you giving her more money then she is owed this amounts to theft. What more needs to be said?