Helper eat from neighbor house

Posted by newmom (353 days ago)

Hi,
My helper has made friends with the helper of our neighbor house and I recently found some different food in our fridge. So when I asked about that and she said her friend has given that. I'm not comfortable with that and told her not to take anything from them and asked her to cook whatever she needs. Even I told her to tell me if she needs any special type of food. But yesterday again I found some crab curry inside the fridge and again maid said her friend gave it and she didn't want to say 'no'. and she too loves to eat crab.
What do you think I should do. I'm quite shy to talk about it with our neighbors and also I don't want any trouble for anybody. Please give me some tricks that I should take to stop this behaviour.

Find what you are after in our Hong Kong A-Z Directory

Posted by GreenValleys (353 days ago)

Only 4 people can stop the practice - you (threatening the helper with termination), your helper (with or without the mentioned threat, decline the other helper's offers), the other helper (with or without some sort of threat from her employer, stop offering the food to your helper), and the other helper's employer (you need to raise it with her). There's no need to be shy about it. The neighbour might be aware of what's happening and might have decided it's OK; but she might also no be aware and is wondering why so much of her food stocks are disappearing. Either way, if you are aware of it and are uncomfortable with it then that's a reasonable indication that your neighbour might also (but not necessarily) feel uncomfortable with it too. I think you have a responsibility to your neighbour in this situation.

Posted by cara (353 days ago)

maybe you are the neighbour of the person whose rice keeps disappearing???

i would just casually mention that your helper has received some food from her friend and that you just wanted to make sure that it was ok with them(your neighbour)...

if you feel uncomfortable with that, then i'd say to your helper... "you can feel uncomfortable saying 'no' to your friend or you can find a new job, it's your choice. I, your employer, feel uncomfortable with you taking food because I do not know if it is ok with your friend's employer"

Posted by jwm (352 days ago)

If it's for her, what's the big deal... Whats next, she cannot store take away food in the refigerator??

Posted by Moppet (352 days ago)

I agree you can't and shouldn't want to control everything your DH does if your friend made you a apple pie or the like you wouldn't refuse to take it as far as you know this is no different. It is up to your neighbour to deal with her DH if something underhand is going on and not for yourself to make assumptions without knowing the facts.

Posted by ldsllvn (352 days ago)

agree with jwm and moppet - what is the problem? be happy that your DH has good friends, it makes their life so much easier. Here is what might help - get her a little fridge of her own, they are not very expensive. Is there anywhere to put it in your kitchen, utilities room? ours have a fridge in the utilities room and have absolutely no idea what they have in there... Do you think this might help?

Posted by smsm (352 days ago)

theres another point which also comes into picture...if your dh continues to recv food from her friend, she might be obliged to do the same from her side as well, it happened with someone i know hence u just might have to look at this also before deciding ur next step..

Posted by Moppet (352 days ago)

Surely you can't make decisions on what might or might not happen, i would think the best thing to do if you are really not happy about it is to tell her that if she takes food from the helper again that you will have to speak to her employer to ensure it is not the employers food she is giving her. You can advise her your feelings should your helper take any of your food to give away or sell and what you would do if she does this.
As it would be very un fair to jump the gun based on the info you have which seems very little.

Posted by abba (352 days ago)

nothing wrong w/ that, im sure one of your friends gave you food too.dont be
selfish.cheers

Posted by aloneforaday (351 days ago)

maybe the other helper is on food allowance....

Posted by newmom (351 days ago)

Thanks every one. I warned my helper and she said she undestood the things now and will explain her friend as well. Anyway I just thought to mension this thing casually with my neighbour as I think it is my responsibility to let her know.
I know it is alright to share food but after read your opinions I figured that no harm to anybody if my neighbour let her helper to share their food with my helper. Then it has a control if she uses their food. Or no problem if it is helpers food. As same as I'm tracking on my home things she can check on her helper as well.

Thanks all.