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helper asking if family can visit Hong Kong and stay in her room
Posted by holmes1953 (51 days ago)
Has anyone else had this situation? I am not sure I feel comfortable with this for several different reasons but would be interested if anyone else has been asked by their helper if they can have people stay with them and how you thought about it.
Posted by axptguy38 (51 days ago)
Our helper's husband is coming for a few days this summer. We're fine with that.
However that doesn't mean you have to be fine with it. It depends on the helper, on you and on your relationship.
Posted by cara (51 days ago)
our helper's husband works in saudi arabia, they have a 17 year old son and in the past they have never been able to have holidays together. when our helper started, in conversation, she mentioned that she hadn't seen her husband in almost 4 years!!! it was not an "oh, poor me!" moment. it was just in conversation.
i told her then and there that if he ever went to the PH he could stop here to visit. he did this. he stayed for about 10 days on the way to PH and again on the way back. he was a VERY gracious houseguest and helped our helper with her household chores.
she has asked if they both might be able to come for christmas. as we have the space, i told her "not a problem at all!" we would truly love to have them.
Posted by axptguy38 (51 days ago)
cara, that conversation sound like a copy of ours! Middle East, hasn't seen husband in years, not a "poor me" moment..
While as I said before it's up to the employer's comfort level, it should be considered that these people spend very long periods away from their loved ones.
Posted by Jctom (51 days ago)
I know some employers who allow their helper's husband to stay at their house (usually they have a close and trusting relationship with their helper).
Posted by ldsllvn (50 days ago)
if you are not 100% sure, why dont you offer to pay for the boarding house for them - I dont think it is that much? You will buy your peace of mind and they will be happy as you have provided an alternative.
Posted by axptguy38 (50 days ago)
Great idea Idsllvn.
Posted by ldsllvn (50 days ago)
well, thank you! I know I would rather pay than have extra 2-3 people in that tiny room where we already have 2 helpers!! I actually dont think they would physically fit in!
Posted by axptguy38 (50 days ago)
Actually we would offer the guest room. ;)
Posted by souffleQueen (50 days ago)
This is more or less a common requests now. I think the "trend" started when an airline company started offering very low cost airfare.
My aunt and her daughter ( who has a 4 year old girl)works in the same house. Their employer just asked the little girl and the sister to join their moms for a month and had stayed in the guest room.
My co-workers had invited their husbands/wives/kids to come over too, with the approval of our boss and stayed with them in their rooms. It also helps that we (staffs) have a spare room and also a sitting room where we could pull out one of the folding beds when needed. My boyfriend, from the UK also came and stayed with me for 6 weeks last time , and will be coming with us again come autumn for like 3 months. He stays with me, and just get out of my way when it's my working time.
As everyone had said, it is all about your comfort level. If you are not comfy to have her around, say so. That way, they could find alternative place to stay. And as ldsllvn suggested, offer to pay ( or part of) the boarding house.
Alternatively, have a"trial" period. Tell your helper her mom could stay for the first three days and she should stay someplace else for the rest of her holiday. If you feel alright with having the mother around, feel free to extend the hospitality.
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