Posted by
Joeuk
16 yrs ago
Why do you feel stupid? You only done what you thought was right. She was silly to run from who obviously treated her well to give her return ticket and 1 month salary. Don't feel stupid, you have no need to.
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Agreed with Joeuk. You did the right things. Feel good about that. Of course the money is a bummer but you still have your integrity and moral standards.
"Many of you will say that she probably had a reason, it is somehow our fault etc, blah, blah, blah. That is fine & you have your opinion - but I won't bother replying"
I'll say the opposite. What she did was disrespectful and vulgar, not to mention criminal.
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cd
16 yrs ago
I've heard so many stories like this. We decided at the beginning that we would treat our helpers as employees and do everything by the book. If our helpers father died, yes we would give him the leave but any costs incurred would have to be paid for himself, the same as I had to when I lost both my parents.
We still treat our helper fairly and with respect, but not as a member of the family.
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"Many of you will say that she probably had a reason, it is somehow our fault etc, blah, blah, blah. That is fine & you have your opinion - but I won't bother replying"
i see where that was coming from!
anyway, sorry to hear your story. it's like, you hear about these things once in a while but you never think it will happen to you...
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er i don't think it's about the money.... ;)
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i dont think she has grounds for unfair dismissal - i hope not anyway - we have friends who are going through hell, being sued by exhelper, would not wish that on anyone. As for your helper, i would just not communicate with her any longer - keep her text messages tho - about typhoon and all that - just in case..
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Sorry to hear about your situation. I actually think that the money you have laid out is well spent. What I mean is I know so many people who have been taken for a lot more and so the amount you've paid out is actually worth the lesson learnt for the future. I do not think many of us would sleep at night if we thought our helper had gone home, father dead and no money so you are not stupid, just humane. Maybe we can learn from this episode and if we find ourselves in a similar situation send the maid back at her own expense, unpaid and if and when she comes back you can pay her/ assist with the flight costs.
I understand that it is not about the money. For many westerners lies are just about the bottom of the barrel and we often find ourselves thinking that we cannot trust them with our kids or belonging if they are telling lies even over small things.
I have always maintained that in HK you need to have your T's crossed and I's dotted when it comes to all admin and dealings with your helper as those employers who are dragged to a tribunal are usually guilty until proven innocent.
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Very shocking indeed, I'm sorry to hear you are getting such a lot of grief from this and I hope the police will be able to sort this out for you soon.
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I think I'll stick to cleaning my own floors.... Too often I hear of DH's causing unwarranted drama.
After all, most of us managed to upkeep our homes in or birth country, why the sudden need for 'help'?
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make sure you have her name listed in the police blotter and aLSO write to immigration and the philippine consulate.
this way - her name would be in some sort of blacklist
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This is a terrible story. That girl needs to be punished. However, as far as I know, even in their home countries, these "runners" are pursued by the lending agencies. The lending agencies are actually playing all their cards to recover their money. The bad loan must have been sold to a bad collection agency who's employing bad collection means.
These collectors know that they can't touch the employers as the employers has got nothing to do with the loan their maid made. It's just that some employers must have paid after such kind of threats and thus the repeat strategy. Who wouldn't be afraid of that?
The perfect solution then is not to hire helpers. But then again, not all can afford to do that.
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Dadda - change phone number immideatly - at least that should take the phone calls away - oh, what a nighmare, so sorry for you.
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I hope you will report her to her respective consulate to ensure she can't get another job in HK
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it is not a matter whether she gets a job or not at this point, am sure she wont - write her off and forget about her. It is a matter of compete nuisance and potentially danger to Dadda and his family. Shocking reply from the police. Dadda - how much is the loan - is it worth paying to be rid of? I know - totally unfair but your family safety is a priority...
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well, it do agree he does not own a cent to them, but if we are talking about not a huge amount, would it not be easier to just pay and be done with it? obviously I am not talking about thousands and thousands of dollars....
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is there a number on the caller number display? then you could block off the caller?
maybe you can re-direct your number to the police number?
can you not record the conversation on your mobile phone? so you record both the caller and police response. this would be a part of the evidence
don't give in to the demands of the caller
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Why dont you just moved to another flat and change your telephone lines?
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ltxhk
15 yrs ago
A friend of mine had a similar problem. Once the "harasser" could no longer contact via phone, the harassment quickly ended. On your land line you can pass-code the right to call in. This means the caller has to have the passcode in order for your phone to ring. She used the year since this was easy for her true callers to remember. As for the mobile, she blocked it out through caller ID. If this doesn't work, then you may have to just change mobile #.
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So sorry this is happening to you...
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How does this guy knows you have a wife ? it could also be one of your helper's friend and another way to get some money from you ...
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There are a few specialist security firms in Hong Kong which can advise on the best way to handle such situations. Believe it or not, these kind of problems are common in business and at home, and there are experienced specialists who can quickly help and evaluate the situation. That is why the police won't be too interested. You might consider hiring one if you are seriously worried.
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If I had this problem, I would probably call the agency I used to process the paperwork/visa etc. They can speak on my behalf to these people and also they know where the girl comes from in the Phill and can give that information to the debt collector. You are not "indebted by association" this one of of the reasons we will always suggest to friends to use an agency, they are the ones who have the legal standing in front of the Phill consulate, both in HK and back in the Philli. AND this is what you pay for when you hire them in the first place eh?
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Feel sympathetic of your situation. Unfortunately it does sound familiar, espcially all the lies about dead relatives, family crisis, accidents etc. My first helper (what an introduction to Filipinas!) used to steal and use my car for her own trading business, lied through her teeth most of the time, took my son to go gambling with her, was always down in Wanchai, and I had finance companies looking for her at my place even a year after she left... I had piles of letters but luckily no death threats!
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make sure that you CHANGE YOUR LOCKS and make it clear to the security guard and your children NOT to let anyone into the house.
If someone is making death threats to your wife, then take it serioiusly. Just because for other people, the threats went away when the number changed does not mean it is the same for you. The world is in an economic meltdown, and if your maid did a runner with all the money, the loanshark may not be as forgiving as always.
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I hope this saga is over for good. The bottom line is, employers are not required to settle ANY debts of the DH and please, for anyone hiring a maid, it's one thing to be humane and do what you would if you were in your home country but unfortunately, things just don't work out that way. Some maids come here for quick cash at the expense of their employer and they know that western employers are so much more generous.
If you're hiring again, I would strongly advise that you interview the girl yourself, try her out and you HAVE TO speak to the previous employer. We almost hired one last year who could cook, seemed to be really well mannered, claimed that she could look after babies, etc. and it was only when I spoke to her employer that I found out that she wasn't half as good as she made out to be. TRUST THE EX-EMPLOYER'S - they have no reason to bad-mouth them. Also, like someone mentioned, everything's got to be in black and white. It's only to cover yourself and anyway your employer would do the same, right? At the end of the day, we are the employers and we have every right to do things according to the law to protect ourselves.
As for the little acts of appreciation, a present at christmas and their birthday, a 'laisee' at chinese new year, etc. is better than an airfare back home to visit an 'ill relative'.
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Hope all is good and stays that way,If not there is software available,That can identify all unavailable numbers,Give you the name and address of the people
Calling,, You can take it from there,,If not i will,No one should have their family threatened,
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pines
15 yrs ago
i am supposed to be embarrased of what my co filipina did to you. she is lying and to sum it all cheated you....but , not all filipinas are the same , so as all helpers.my employers were and still very supportive of me. gave 5 months holiday with generous monthly pay....paid my executive health check-ups and minor operation inside me.monitored me in the philippines all the time. when i came back september 30 2008 , salary still continued without any deductions. i am sorry about that situation of yours.
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Deaths in the family, accidents or illnesses requiring urgent and expensive surgeries - heard it all. Pretty standard filipino scams. I feel sorry for you and can imagine the psychological trauma it's been for you and your family.
A family i know had a Filipino domestic helper for 10 years, absolutely trusted her and she borrowed loads of money, worked as a weekedn prostitute in the red light district in wanchai but when seen walking into wanchai one weekend said she was going to CHURCH!!!! The family got threatening letters and phone calls. They eventually moved. I suggest you do the same.
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Did you ever contact your agency and ask them for help?
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here you are talking about a small amount of money she took..... i knew someone who lost her husband a house and a family as her helper took over her place in the family ...
this Guy left his wife and got married with the helper....i suppose dadda your loss is not as huge as this woman.
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QUOTE: My boss would not have done the same for me & I will not do the same for a helper in the future.
You wouldn't clean your bosses toilet or underwear either for a wage under the poverty line.
Someone above said the perfect solution was to not hire a helper at all.
There's a reason why normal households do not have "helpers" in Europe, UK, America, or Australia....mostly because of the fare wage laws, but also because indentured servancy was a thing of the last century not the current one.
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oz64
15 yrs ago
hi i'm a filipino living in australia. we don't have maids here but we do have maids in the philippines. Bad stories of filipino maids also happens in the philippines and believe me there are also a number of cases of them. I hope you report her to the agency where you got her, report her also the the philippine consulate there in hong kong , and whatever governing body that regulates hiring and sending maids. Even if i'm a filipino i feel sad that my fellow country men do this kind of things but they should be taught their lesson and people like this should never be allowed to work outside of the philippines because they bring bad name to the country and our fellow country men.
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""There will always be the story of - bad employer which makes the headlines. But no mention of the 99% who are good.
The majority of helpers here are on a good number - and what is more, they know it.
And yet, with all the trappings of a good employer, SOME of them still steal, lie and are blatantly dishones, and want more...""
What is it with this site and contradictory comments! There will always be the story of the bad employer and no mention of the good........and yet....etc, etc, etc
And the other side of the coin. There will always be the story of the bad helper and no mention of the good. Cuts both ways.
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"I've been in HK over 23 years and have encounted stories too numerous to put on here - but one thing I have learned is.. The helpers use other helpers passports."
How about if you as the employer holds onto your helper's passport? I'm not talking about taking it by force but say your helper has no problem with giving it to you for safekeeping. Would that prevent the problem of her going to the loansharks and/or acting as a guarantor for someone else's loan??
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Thanks, Huggy.
But what I mean is - will having your helper's passport alone be enough to prevent the problem of loansharks? I heard that loansharks often take the helpers' passports as a form of "security" for theloan, but say the Filipina goes to a loanshark with just her HKID, will they loan her money, in that case? Has anyone had such experience?
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Hey if think you feel stupid. Our maid called us after we moved to China i told her id sign her contract and she could stay with us till she found a job. But then she started working and i felt bad so i gave her HKD 1000 per month and reminded her she need to get another job. But she stayed so this went on for a year then i said enough is enough i will get her the working visa in China etc 12k ++ then she took off to Hk and didnt come back nexxt i hear was from the labour dept shesued me. this happend just at the time I lost my job. Anyway i had the last laugh as when she sued me i found ou that she was intitiled to the outstanding wages but i could choose to per her in installments to a level of my choice. Shes had to take a monor payout as her visa was up for HK and she had expected to make a run for it to the Philppines. I will never employ another helper agian in some ways it seems like they have more rights than the locals.
But as piece of advise if you have a helper never trust her never borrow money to her always make sure the phone is locked and buy her a pre paid phone card each month. Trust me these people come form real povity and in some cases will paln to screw you.
Well Dadda now you know you have my sympathy
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"There's a reason why normal households do not have "helpers" in Europe, UK, America, or Australia....mostly because of the fare wage laws, but also because indentured servancy was a thing of the last century not the current one."
Helpers in Europe, America or Australia don't stay with the family, that's all. Or you give them fancy names like au pair.
The Filipinas were not forced to come to Hong Kong. They came here willingly because here they live really well. Some of you may prefer more independence, but there are lots of women in the world, especially those from poorer countries, who are happiest when all their expenses are paid for.
I'm not sure how many of you are aware that the live in domestic helpers' wages in Hong Kong are better than the median income in Hong Kong (which is about HK$10000). The Filipino domestic helpers don't have to pay for food, high rent, transport, often get free clothes and little gifts, live in nice neighbourhoods, get taken out to dinner at nice restaurants, some have free mornings and afternoons when they go out to shop with other Filipinas while some prefer to head to the red light districts for some extra pocket money before coming home to cook.
There are plenty of Hong Kong families who live on HK$10000/month, minus food, rent, transport, school for children, they don't have anything left at all. And you should be able to imagine these families really have to watch what they eat - often expired food, rotting fruit the rotting parts they cut off. People who think the Filipino domestic helpers are being ill-treated should watch more local TV, visit Sham Shui Po and Tin Shui Wai rather than talk about the Asia they know while sipping champagne in Soho.
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Dadda, I have the same experience as yours, worst, my maid has been physically harming my kids. It was only when she took off that my children dare to tell me what she did to them. I was soooo angry I swear I could kill her if she was in front of me. The finance company people keep calling and demanding that I have to pay for her debt. I did lodge a complaint to the police, but eventually I have to change my landline number and after some time, the goons just stop calling.
After this unhappy incident, I never hire another Filipino maid, I just get the local hourly-rate amah to do my cleaning and put my children in an all day mursery school. I do understand that this kind of set-up may not be applicable for everybody. But luckily for me, this works out alright, althougth I must say, it is really hard.
Now my children are in their early teens and all the more reason i don't need a maid.
Thanks to Huggy and bed in hkg's post, they say what I have in mind. HK pays the highest rate for domestic helper in Asia, with loads of holidays and benefits. The DH are living a more confortable life than many of the locals. Yet, some of them are taking advantages of our kindness...
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dadda - so sorry to hear about everything you're going through, it sounds horrific. a few years ago, when i was still living with my parents, we had a helper who, over the years, suffered a series of tragedies - her husband died, her daughter had a brain tumor, her other daughter was kidnapped, among many other things. she went home to deal with each incident but always returned - after a couple of weeks paid leave. HOWEVER, at the same time, my parents started noticing money and valuable items missing. we never even suspected her because my family is Christian, as was our helper. it should also be noted that our church collected and raised money for her, to help with her daughers brain surgery etc. then one day she went home to visit her daughter, and things started to unravel. first, the pastor of our church tried to contact her in the philippines to see if everything was okay, and a man picked the phone up. "who's this?" asked my pastor. "this is napoleon", the man said. our helpers supposed-dead husband. a voice from the grave after 3 years! then we discovered that the whole kidnapping thing had been a scam, as was her daughters brain tumor - all just ways for our helper to get paid holidays to visit her oh-so-tragic family. when my parents discovered this they called the police right away, they came over to our house and searched her room - and found THOUSANDS of dollars under her mattress, money that she later confessed to having stolen, or pawned things of ours off for.
anyway. i just wanted to let you know that my sympathies really are with you, and i really hope that the police will help you - too often in hk, i find police are slow on the uptake.
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Yes at last I heard the truth its better to hire the locals because they have less rights than FDH,Its just becomes clear to me that others likes to destroy our reputation just to steal our job.I feel sorry for them...
Can someone gives me an advice also to my problems?I am working for 10 years to my employer she always remind me that she doesn't like me to borrow money from bank so I obey her until I finished my contract with her.So everybody knows that she she needs to pay my long term service but she refused to pay she declare bankruptcy and she showed to me that she loan a big amount of money to all the biggest banks in HK.
from:misty
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FKKC
15 yrs ago
If you (misty) are the one who resigned (read this from previous posting) you are not entitled to the long service payment.
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i think what you did was ok ...... but the method was wrong ........ You shld instead, like an employer, promise to pay for trip upon proof of receipts ........ 2 things achieved ----- 1. accountability ..... 2. If she wants to run, is at her own cost.
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Its my employer who cannot sign the contract even she likes,the husband suddenly disappear without any explanation.She loan a lot of money to the bank and buy a flat ,she pay the house on monthly basis but now after only few years of paying that flat she needs to give it back because she doesn't have money to continue the payment.The husband is the breadwinner in the family so she was left very poor and lose hope.So it was very difficult for me to make any move now and to add more burden to her life .I just pray that hopefully she can face all this trials.
Anyway thank you very much for all the advice I appreciate it so much.
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FKKC
15 yrs ago
vangels20080,
I feel sorry for you if it really came down to this but on the other hand, you can find a job without having to go back to the Philippines. Good luck!
pines,
Quote from you.......gave 5 months' holiday with generous monthly pay........why in heaven should she/he hire you in the first place and then give you so many months of leave. Even the best of employer in his/her right mind will not do it.
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many of the helpers do compare notes with each other too and pay and benefits are on the top of the list.
it is sad to know that it is not unusual to for some of them to think or get ideas that when one gets a more lucrative and more generous pay packet and benefit, they are also entitled to the same thing.
pines
- you cannot expect other helpers to get the same package as you do
different people have different circumstances and situations, and there is no need for you to brag about it or tell it like other employers should follow the same suit as your employers
be glad that you still have job and that you are fortunate to have generous employers.
as i said things work differently with different people.
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I'm from Latin America, and overthere people have domestic helpers often, I have never ever heard of something of the sort...never, and I grew up with more than one DH at my house...this is definetly something indigenous to the environment, which entitles DH to take up loans without providing enough proof for having the ability to repay....I think this issue is partially the loan companies' fault....and policies should be inforced in this issue too...
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By the way, thank you Dadda for sharing your experience as a warning for the rest...I am sorry you and your family went through this unpleasant (to say the least) situation....
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Prostitution is the oldest worlds profession. Espionage is the 2nd worlds oldest profession. Prostitution has been around since the dawn of man when he hung from his tail and shagged upside down for banannas. The problem is in the philipines they still do. As for as the 2nd oldest world profession. You'll hardly find a worse example of people that dont know when to mind their own business. I'm sorry though. Your not victim you are a volunteer. The term fired comes from a tradition we have of burning people out of villages and its a custom that needs to be reenacted, at least in the not so symbolic form that we use these days. Unorthdox methods so to speak. If its not a filipino its a thai or indonesian. Is there some reason I cant hire my own maid from a culture of my choice? The time has come for the jap-poon-ese ahmah. Anyone with me on this?
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lady finger:
Immediately cancel her visa, she will return to Hong Kong, on your return fare
bye
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