Posted by
Yeung2015
15 yrs ago
Bad attitude, I would get rid of her asap!
By the way, how long has this helper been working for you? If it's 4 years or more, she may be doing this (bad attitude) in order to receive compensation, if you do decide to terminate her employment contract.
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JJALD
15 yrs ago
Maybe sit down with her and try and find out why she is unhappy? Or an appraisal style review?
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I had the exact same experience a few years back. Helper did what she was told, gave short answers, but she always had this awful sour look on her. It turns out her marriage was breaking apart and there was nothing to cheer her up but she so needed the job. Now, I should never have asked about the problem. Its better sometimes to not tread there cause things get complicated once you know...the employer/employee relationship I mean. My mother who came to visit cleared the whole thing for me. She was bothered by this one person who was dampening everyone's mood in the household and thought it wasn't good for the kids either, whatever the problem may be. So she helped me bid her goodbye and I never knew how bad things were till she was finally gone. I tell you, it was an incredible breath of fresh air (and sunshine).
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Go free yourself and get of her, it will make you so much happier
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Simple,
Sack her. We have gone through a few helpers due to this type of attitude etc. We treat our helpers with respect and do not treat them like slaves. We explain to them what we expect from them as soon as we employ them and make it clear if they play up, slack off or take advantage they will be sacked on the spot. We have always employed Filipinos before but got fed up with them and now have an Indonesian, she is a lot less hassle that's for sure.
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I would check your legal obligations first to make sure where you stand legally. You have tried all angles it seems, yes I would said I expect a significant improvement and spell out/ put it in writing / written warning with affect it is having on you - then for sure sack her - I am sick of these manipulative women who are employees but behave like.....
As to King above - Immediately implement a plan to get back the money you have poured down the drain with this woman - it is common scam they play - dont be taken in - it will end in tears and resentment on your part. You have no obligation to take on an employees debts or to bankroll her......
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Whether the reason for her sour face is some personal crisis or simply in her nature, it's very difficult to live with somebody like that. It is a delicate matter but at the end of the day, this is a person you have invited to live with you and your family and if you can't stand the sight of them - whatever the reason - then you can't have them in your home.
We had a similar scenario, albeit our helper was a 'nice person' she simply did not speak, other than yes and no answers. It made life very difficult and eventually was the only cause of arguments between me and my husband. One night we even slept in separate room because of an argument we had had about her. How could I allow that person to do this to my otherwise perfect marriage?! So, I sat her down one day and asked her if she liked working for us. She said she did. So, perhaps she simply didn't like me - she said she did. Then finally she opened up and told me it was just her nature to be this way - she had always been this way and try as she might, she could not change. Unfortunately we were planning to start a family and I felt I could not leave a child with this woman who would not communicate at all. It came down to keeping her on but me giving up work to look after the kids going foward, or replace her with a more communicative and pleasant person. I was completely upfront about our reasons for replacing her and she understood our requirements and that she could not fullfill them. We actually gave her about 4 months to find a new job. Our new helper is wonderful and I have absolutely no regrets about getting rid of the previous one.
Good luck!
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"I have never had full-time help but it doesn't appear the best of situations. Those who have a no-problem helper are really lucky."
I think it's always difficult to invite a stranger into your home and into your personal life. But I think expectations also play a big part. I have this one co-worker who has so many problems with so many helpers. After talking with her, I realized that she was so completely hands-off at home. She expected her helper to do everything - childcare, housework - even when she was at home herself! I understand working moms (I am one too) put in a hard days work and would like to relax when you get home, but the reality is, it's not possible with a small child! For me, I try to pull my weight when I'm home and that makes the relationship easier with my helper.
Think about our own work situation. If your boss was expecting you to work really hard all the time but never did anything himself, wouldn't you feel resentful? If you saw your boss working hard, then you don't feel so cheated when he/she expects a lot from you, right? I think it's the same with helpers, like with any other employee.
However, in expat2006 case, I agree that it's best to let the helper go. Chemistry is important and if your helper's presence is an irritant, then for whatever the reason, you two are obviously not a "good match" and there's no reason to persist.
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expat2006,
you know what, your decision shouldn't be hard to make and should be guilt free. You're a working parent, you need the help of someone who can communicate thing to you in details. When kids are involved it's crucial. I really lucked out with my helper, she's my first and last and she's live-in and really, we have no problem of the sort in our house. This whole matter shouldn't be something that comes between a husband and wife. At the end of the day, it's like in any work place: You can't meet the requirements you get warned, you don't change you get fired!!!
If she's like this from something going on in a personal life, fair enough but not your problem really is it? Does your boss has your "helper problems" at heart?? I'm a pretty sensitive person and I know what I'm posting may come across has harsh but really, it's about doing what's best for your family and in your case it's finding someone that you can bare having around.
I wish you the best of luck. They are some really good helper out there, mine is Sri Lankan and christian and older, daughter is older she doesn't support her whole village and has money to retire if she doesn't come back home with us when we go back.
Hope it works out for you!
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with regards the food issue, we give our helper a food allowance each month. She also has her own mini fridge that we have provided. I sometimes offer her our food but frankly she's happier with her own. Occassionally I suggest she eats something that she has cooked really well otherwise she would never get to sample her own cooking. If there's one portion left over after dinner I often offer it to her rather than sticking it in the fridge with other leftovers that end up getting thrown away anyway.
I have to say, if she just helped herself to food and drink from our fridge without asking me, I would consider that stealing. You have to lay down the rules. You either give her a food allowance and she organises her own meals and snacks. Or, you don't pay her a food allowance and she eats the same thing as you. But even then, I wouldn't expect her to just help herself to biscuits and things - just meals. It's outrageous that she helped herself to your mum's food parcel!
Generally, I think they prefer to have a food allowance. That way, they can spend as little or as much as they like, plus, I'm sure there are lots of foods we eat that they really don't like.
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yuhana - I'm outraged by your post!
Domestic Helpers are NOT worthless - they allow us to have the superb lifestyles and freedom that has made living in HK such a big attraction to expatriates. They work incredibly hard for not a lot of money and in many cases they become an important part of a family's life, especially where children are concerned. They should never be taken for granted. As for the labour laws of HK, I would disagree with you - they are not granted enough protection from uncaring ar*ehole employers like you.
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WOW! you work from home and still manage to be the primary care taker of your child and she walks around with a sour face?? I command you. Again, even if I'm a pretty sensitive person and tolerant, I don't think I could put up with all this.
As far as food is concern, since she's live-in and does most of the cooking and I try to avoid having her cook 3 different meals to suit the family so meal plans are set so she eats what she makes, she keeps a portion aside for her to eat when she's done. If she wants to make someting different for herself by all means, she usually goes and buys what ever she needs to make it or uses whatever she finds in the fridge that on the verge of perishing!! I never had to put a "off limit" to anything in the fridge and cupboards. Again I'm lucky and have a helper who doesn't abuse anything.
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We give her $500 a month for food. It works out well cos we are big meat eaters and generally buy quite expensive meat and she's not a big fan of meat. Plus, we eat western food and she would prefer to eat what she's more familiar with. Also, she eats with other neighbouring helpers so she has more of her own life this way. Also, it means that if she doesn't want to spend so much on food, she can just pocket the rest. Gives her more flexibility.
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Ed
15 yrs ago
We do not accept racist comments on this site... I am deleting a number of posts - if any are missed please hit Report Abuse
FYI http://www.asiaxpat.com/racism/
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dont take crap from or attitude from her, never forget - you're the boss! take on mre of a leader mentality and do something about it, tell her you'll give her 2 weeks to change her bad attitude or you're going to replace her and let her know how easy it would be to do during these tough times.
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I too am having problems with a sour faced helper. Honestly, I really do not know what these girls want or think from us. My newish helper gets every Sunday and BH off, has nothing but a few dishes to wash after 5pm and is only expected to clean, launder and run a few errands. She has little to do with my child and I do the cooking. She gets paid USD100 more than her last place and she has loads of her own food which I buy and a proper bedroom. However I just had to have more words with her as I go out at 9am and by the time I get back she's finished everything on her list to do. However, it's not done properly. E.g. Clean the playroom - I just went into the playroom wiped my finger on the shelves and it was BLACK. I have spent a lot of time showing her how to do stuff but she is a combination of low standards, can't be ar$ed and thinks working for me is a hoot. In the end I was on my hands and knees (by the way I'm 8 months pregnant) cleaning the bookcase showing her how to do it again. I went out at 9am today, came back at 12.20pm and she was in the kitchen making herself a batch of fish curry to freeze having finished all her chores. I'm sorry but how can you clean 2 bathrooms, bedrooms, all floors hoovered and mopped in 3 hours? Also the kitchen is constantly dirty with finger and food marks all over the fridge and doors bcos she can't be bothered to wipe it off every day.
I think I am going to fire her soon as the place is dirtier than before she started. It's not that my expectations are massive. I used to have 2 cleaners come for 3 hours at the same time from an agency and the place was like a shiny new pin and stayed that way until they came back the next week. I don't see why she cannot do the same over a whole week.
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Wow Angsana, you use your fingers to check the corners? That's impressive.
You definitely don't share the same standards with your helper. Give her one more warning and off she goes if expectations are not met.
By the way, how many helpers have you fired because they didn't meet your standards?
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penne
15 yrs ago
The arguments and debates can go on and on..... bottom line is if you're not happy make the change. Hong Kong is stressful enough why would anyone want to go home to more stress? Of course it's a pain in the ..... to go through the trouble of finding another helper but at the end of the day you will breathe and sleep a lot easier when you do find the suitable one. I have had my share of bad helpers and good helpers and I have gone through the headaches, if there is anything I learnt it's no matter how good they are you still need to keep them in line from time to time. I'm referring to the majority of the helpers althouth there are the exceptions. If you don't want to go through the hassle, find the most reputable agency and work from there.
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I had a helper once who put on an unhappy face. I asked her was it because she didn't like working for me and she said no. Then I said to her that being happy or unhappy, one still need to go through the day. so why not try to be more optimistic.
Life became nicer for everyone after that communication!
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I have encoutered the same problem as Angsana and expat2006. I am very new to this helper business, but I must say that I am very confused. I was (rightly or wrongly) of the impression that domestic helpers should be of some help. As it is now, I do everything I can to take my child away from her and try to stay away from home when helper is there. She generally works as a great source of destruction - breaking everything, damaging wooden floor, throwing things out of the window (17/F). When I point out that her actions are not very beneficial to us, she makes excuses - it was a wind, my 7 moths-old son, God's finger or other forces of nature. She laughs at my despair.
Dust on shelves? Yes, Angsana, everywhere you can imagine. Even after our 10 days holiday outside of HK our helper did not manage to get rid of the dust. She loves ironing - she irons everything she can get hold of, especially the things which should not be ironed. And she adds an extra personal touch - she makes a big stain on the front of every garment. Don't ask me how she manages to do that, I still have not figure it out. I guess that she is a women of many talents.
I employed her because she said that she had 12 years of experience as a domestic helper in HK plus several years in Dubai. But I wonder what experience she really has....she does not have even a very basic understanding about hygiene, she does not remember anything we taught her, she basically does not care....I wonder why she pretends to be a domestic helper when she is not remotely interested in anything remotely related to domestic work?????
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With all this fdh bashing, we should petition the HK government not to allow families to have them any longer. What do you think guys?
As for me, I and my wife can go to work because we have somebody we can trust to leave the kids with. We need two incomes to have a more "comfortable" life. When we arrive home at night, dinner is ready and we can spend time with the children while the helper is fixing up. It's enough reason to have a helper. When I was in the US, I can't even afford to have a helper...
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Markulka - why have you not fired her? You are obviously very unhappy with her. If it was me, I'd be paying her a month in lieu and asking her to leave immediately.
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Just like not every DH is bad, neither is every employer helpless.
Perhaps some of the readers of this forum are DHs and take offense at the complaints of the DHs posted here b/c they themselves are very competent. Fair enough. I don't think anyone here is suggesting that all DHs are bad. (Punter, I don't really understand your sarcasm. So DH provides an important and much needed service - does that mean if the employer has a bad DH, they are not allowed to complain then? I'm sure many DHs bitch about their employers - are we suggesting then that they be sent home??
On the flip side, employers can also take offense at the assumption that they are helpless without DHs. Perhaps some really are. But I know of many moms (SAHM and working ones) who are also very competent and take their responsibilities very seriously. Personally, I don't ask anything of my helper that I cannot do myself. I am fully aware that I need her to look after my 1 yr old son during the day when I am at work but then in the evening, I take care of him from the moment I step in the door until my husband comes home and takes over. At which point I do the cooking. (I also do all the shopping before coming home.) No mistake, I'm glad she is there b/c in many ways it is more convenient than abroad where you have to rely on daycare but personally, I resent the automatic assumption that moms with helpers would be helpless without them.
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Housed, I just wanted to point out that fdhs have a role to play in a Hong Kong household. Some posters here seem not to appreciate that.
I think that maintaining spotless and dustless counters/glass/etc is too much bitching about a minor thing. Employers can definitely complain about anything, but in some way, posts here gives us a clue whether the complaint is worth the keystrokes spent in typing it out!
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I totally agreed with housed's comments. Punter, no need to be sacarstic, perhaps because you are lucky to have a good helpher that you may not see some employers having a problem with their help.
"we should petition the HK government not to allow families to have them any longer." - oh, why not, for me, it is no problem cause I am like what Housed is - I can and I am willing to do my own work - "I resent the automatic assumption that moms with helpers would be helpless without them".
In summary, I would say, A good helper is a great help, a problem helper means trouble.
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Sarcasm sometimes brings out the point more effectively than plain vanilla talk ... Just like what Housed said, employers can complain, we can post comments.
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I wonder percentage wise how many people are happy with their helpers?
From reading HK forums it seems to be like 10% !
Also another question, I know they work 6 days usually but how many hours do DH work a day?
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as to kryzlowski's questions:
i guess like employers in other areas, only a small percentage of people are very happy with their helpers and also a small percentage quite unhappy with theirs. the vast majority probably are "generally" happy in the sense that they have accepted their helper's problems and are not thinking of replacing them soon. my helper has a lot of areas (mostly in terms of competence rather than attitude) that need improvement, but all in all i feel that keeping her works ok for me now.
as to how many hours helpers work a day, i guess that varies from family to family but most likely it's a longer day than a normal office job if you count from the minute they start working in the morning until they finish the last piece of work in the evening. for example my helper gets up at 6:30 and starts working around 7:00am and she usually finishes around 9:00pm. however, from 1:00pm to 6:00pm she usually has only some bits of isolated work totaling about one hour and most of the time she's free from 1:00pm to 4:00pm.
i think the fact that helpers live in their workplace tends to stretch the working hours. for example if my helper lives out and leaves my home say, 6:00pm every day, we ccould still manage it (though we'll be busier during dinner time);by arranging things in a different way. for example my helper would help me prepare dinner earlier in the afternoon (she only does the preparation work and i do the cooking itself) and do the dish washing, etc. the next day. (BTW, even with my helper living in, i don't care if she stops working earlier in the evening and leaves something for the next day.)
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normally they start work before their employers are up to cook bfast, help get the kids ready for school. they end their day after dinner but depends on the employer's requirments i.e. if they are required to cook and serve and clean up after dinner.
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expat2006, is this girl doing a good job? Is she honest, loyal, trustworthy? If yes, then she give you all the satisfaction you need. Sure, it's nicer to have someone around your house with a smile on her face, but hey, can't have it all.
What if you replace her with a "smilier" person only to find out that she's a not as good or reliable?
What's more important to you? Performance or smiles?
What if you had a very smiley DH, and came home one day in a bad mood, would you complain she smile too much ? Would you want to wipe that smile off her face?
What I mean is if you can trust her - with work, children and money- then you have a good DH.
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zorglub, i don't agree that a DH you can trust is automatically classified a "good" DH. Trust is important - a DH you cannot trust is simply unacceptable as a DH.
It appears that expat2006 is an empathetic person as opposed to someone who can shut their eyes to other people's emotions (not saying that this is good or bad). If this gloom on her DH's face is "unbearable" as stated by expat2006, and if expat2006 doesn't see this gloom everywhere, there is obviously something wrong.
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good for you expat2006, and good luck!
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Expat2006
it is not irrelevant how you found her at interview.
Sometimes we misjudge and empoy the wrong person. This seems to have happened to you.
Try to work out why it happened.
Good luck!
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Work it out (should take 3 seconds) and sack her.
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If you give her the benefit of the doubt, and so assuming she may have some sort of personal crisis. I would give her a week off to deal with whatever the problem is, clear her head, etc, etc... maybe she can even fly back home.
My guess is that you can handle the house chores for a week no problem.
On her return if nothing has changed, then consider letting her go.
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Hugie
15 yrs ago
Hi, In answer to your question about which church do they go to? I find Jehovah's Witnesses are generally good employees. They are taught to be hard working and diligent and above all honest. Of course there are a few who are not.
I read in a book recently that JW's were the best to employ. I can find the quote if you want. Let me know if you are interested I know a few.
regards
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Sounds to me like the poor helper is suffering with depression which is often undiagnosed amongst this group. She needs help and whilst I understand that living with someone in your household who has depression is not easy, I think persuading her to seek help would be a better solution. If you fire her (which of course is your perogative) she will undoubtedly have financial problems as she will have to leave HK after a 14 day grace period to find a new employer. Finding a new employer will not be easy in the present economic climate.
If the girl's marriage is breaking up it cannot be easy for her and she is probably under huge financial pressure. Maybe give her a week or two to fly home and sort things out and them you both review the situation.
There are too many helpers in HK suffering from depression that is rarely diagnosed. Amonst the Indonesian community it is worse as they have fewer migrant groups as a support network and find it harder to practise their faith in HK than Filipinos. However, I have met Filipino helpers too who regularly break down and are clearly depressed and this is usually over marital breakdown or problems with children/family and financial problems.
If anyone was to start counselling sessions for helpers in HK they would not make a lot of money but would be overwhelmed by the numbers of girls seeking help.
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I have noticed there's a lot of racism comments on this site.
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Ed
15 yrs ago
If you notice a racist comment please click Report Abuse
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There are many employers out there who employs Jehovah's Witnesses and are generally satisfied with them. Why not try visit one of Jehovah's Witnesses meetings on a sunday in their Kingdom Hall to see for yourself how they are taught which make them hard workers and honest.
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pines
15 yrs ago
how could you guys so greedy? how much is the food allowance? 300/ month? how about you eat the 300 dollars for the whole month...just try it...would you able to move around your households? well, perhaps if you won't be doing anything.
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My view is:
1. you are hired to do a job, do it or leave it;
2. we all have problems, but we must separate them from our professional life;
3. Unless you are a psychologist or have a career in a related discipline, your house in not a clinic to deal with the helpers personal problems;
4. As courtesy, of course you can ask, but the helper/employee should not expect to be helped just because he/she has a personal problem and yes, look to solve it in a best and faster way not to affect the professional side; I also work...
5. No, I am not inconsiderate or selfish and I treat my helper very nicely. However, she is my employee and as such, the above apply;
6. Bad energy, sulky face and no sense of humor, affects the entire dynamics of the house;
7. She has her rights as an employee, so pay it and dismiss her;
I have been lucky by setting things straight in the first interview. 12 years in HK and only 3 helpers shows that it works. BTW, before you ask, my first helper showed attitude only one time, I dismissed her. My second helper worked with us for 6 years and left to have children (she can't wait to come back). The third is here and so far, we like her very much and so does she (she is the second helper's sister).
Good luck!
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Banananica - I share you view.
They are here to do a job just as we (when we work outside the home) are there to do our job. We are not psychiatrists or psychologists .
I have been suckered a few times by my Filippino DHs into family dramas which always involve me giving them free time off, paying for IDD phone calls and worst, loans that are never repaid.
There is such a thing as a bad helper who manipulates and takes advantage of their employerws so WHY kid ourselves by calling it a "racist" issue just because we are parents with a couple of young sprogs and need someone to take care of them?
Don't kid yourself. There are groups of Caucasian men in HK with a vested interest in shouting down anyone who complains about their domestic helper. Why? Take a walk down Wanchai and you will know the answer. This has been going on for 20+ years.
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Look everyone, you are all raging about Filipino helpers and that is not helpful for those having trouble with theirs.
I have lived in HK for over 2 decades and I have had my share of troublesome helpers too.
But I have learnt to carefully select. That is the key to employing a good helper and peaceful home.
We should be prepared to put up with some 'not up to expectations' work standard but never put up and ignore a bad attitude. You can change and train in work approaches but attitude is hard to cope with.
When you interview helpers they will say and do what you want because they are desperate for jobs and once they have jobs so it's important what selection process and referrals you use.
Classes at the Y about employing domestic helpers in HK are very useful...why not sign up???
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Gucci
15 yrs ago
For those of u complaining about biscuits, a little dust, and life being sooooo difficult because of the helper, then don't employ DHs anymore. Do a reality check and take a break from any help and see how u manage without them, then maybe u will appreciate what they do.
For the pittance you pay them, you certainly have very high expectations. Many of u compare yourselves (not salaries) to them, talking about putting on a professional face when most of the DHs are not being paid a professional wage ... if u employed a pro au pair from back home how much would u pay her and how much work would she do? Double standards? Would u be able to smile all the time if u were faced with a lifetime of servitude, with no family to return to at the end of a long day, day after day? U don't need to be a bleeding heart, but put yrself in her shoes for a minute.
Just because the HK govt. allows u to take advantage of these disadvantaged people who leave country, home and family to get stuck here with u, most of who could only dream of having a helper back home, doesn't mean u should ...
Warren Buffet said his success is mainly due to the fact that he was lucky enough to be born with an American passport ... n a passport is basically all that seperates a DH n u.
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"I think the best helper, regardless of origin, is one that can make their self invisible, yet remain efficient in their role. This is good for both the family and the helper. The family is not troubled by a third party and the helper retains their own space.
I do not agree with all this 'part of the family thing', as all too often , yet not always, this leads to trouble."
That really depends on what you want and what works in your family. Some people want the quiet mouse, some want more of a presence. I don't think the latter leads to trouble more often than the former. Why should it?
"For those of u complaining about biscuits, a little dust, and life being sooooo difficult because of the helper, then don't employ DHs anymore. Do a reality check and take a break from any help and see how u manage without them, then maybe u will appreciate what they do."
Hear hear.
Employing a helper means some loss of privacy. It also means that you have to actually manage someone and pay that someone. In return, expect hard work. But don't expect it to be all smooth sailing.
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Gucci
15 yrs ago
axptguy38 hits the nail on the head when he says "Employing a helper means ... that you have to actually manage someone" ... since most Westerners in HK have never had a DH before, their lack of DH management skills could be a big part of the problem.
Anonymous2008 seems to have got it right and should consider conducting classes in effective DH management with a heart! Complainers above should be open-minded n consider that their DH management skills may need some polishing n look for a class, if there is one, or look around u n ask those who hv got it right for tips rather than bashing yr DHs at public forums with petty, derogatory n racist comments ... wonder what yr DHs would say if they had a voice here ... best of luck to all esp. the DHs ... PEACE :-)
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Gucci your second post was more helpful by suggesting that employers should improve their management skills to facilitate a better relationship with their DHs, which I totally agree. Your first post, however, seemed to (sorry if I misread your post) suggest that employers with problems should either not have DHs or put up with bad attitude (or other problems) from DHs because of the salary paid, because these employers cannot have DHs back at home, because DHs are (by definition?) "disadvantaged" and employers are taking advantage of them by requiring certain performance level. Those points I'm afraid I cannot agree. What's the point of improving employers' management skills if DH's problems should just be tolerated (instead of solved)?
Surely DHs are not paid a professional salary like lawyers or bankers, but if you think profession as meaning a job, then I don't think it's unreasonable for employers to require certain standards in any job. How much does a waitress, a security guard or a dust lady earn in Hong Kong? Probably not that much (if any) than a DH's salary if you take into account the fact that they have to pay out of pocket all their living expenses. But if any of them frequently bears a sour face on their post, surely customers will complain and their employers will do something about it. Are they being taken advantage of in that scenario?
It's true that most people cannot afford a DH back at home, and to many people it's a luxury to have it here. But it's also kind of a necessity to a lot of families due to the lack of childcare business, the workaholic culture, etc. in Hong Kong. And the fact that DHs don't get to go home after a day's work is because the Hong Kong government requires them to reside in the employers' house. If employers are ever given an option, some people may choose not to have a DH (if say daycares are available) or to have a live-out one (I personally would prefer a live-out helper, which I believe could avoid a lot of problems for both the employer and the helper associated with the live-in arrangement.)
I can see your good heard toward the helpers. But maybe also allow the employers to talk about their problems here instead of simply lecturing them not to employ a DH any more -- some may not have a choice and are unforetunately not paired with the right person.
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Gucci
15 yrs ago
Hi MM, you said "What's the point of improving employers' management skills if DH's problems should just be tolerated (instead of solved)?" Well, an improvement in employers' mgt skills would help them solve/avert problems, but there wasn't much talk of solving anything, just firing, hence my efforts to provide a different perspective from the DHs pov, n also to ask the complainers to look in the mirror.
"Surely DHs are not paid a professional salary ... I don't think it's unreasonable for employers to require certain standards in any job." True. However, as one lister pointed out, the DH is living in her home n u cannot compare that relationship to other low-paid workers who don't have a 24/7/31/365 proximity n therefore requires more effort than just high expectations, complaints n firings.
"... it's also kind of a necessity to a lot of families due to the lack of childcare business, the workaholic culture, etc. in Hong Kong." ... all the more reason for employers, who hv the education n 'professionalism' to make it work, as many have. What u pay for is what u get n a simple village kid who barely speaks English needs to be understood n trained patiently. I find it difficult to believe that a DH who leaves house n home n has to constantly walk on eggshells for fear of termination, will refuse to cooperate to the extent where she faces termination n the risk of being sent home .. the DH-employer relationship is extremely skewed so it's a bit difficult to swallow petty complaints from employers ...
"And the fact that DHs don't get to go home ..." even if the HK govt. allowed live-outs, a DH's real "home" is thousand's of miles away ...?
"But maybe also allow the employers to talk about their problems here instead of simply lecturing them not to employ a DH any more -- " talking or asking for advice is the purpose of these forums, bashing is not, n I don't hv to give u examples ... guess u didn't read the Ed's note about having to remove offensive comments ... it's free speech here so people can bash those who don't hv a voice here n I can give my opinion, just as u did. Wonderful, isn't it? :-)
U seem nice ... so don't wear the cap if it doesn't fit ... Peace
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