Posted by
folder
11 yrs ago
I have a boy just completed his teen age who is lack of interest in studies and could not concentrate well when studies.
Any advice regarding counseling or etc
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Ed
11 yrs ago
One suggestion... I've observed that quite a number of kids today have problems concentrating because they try to study with music playing, the TV blaring away, or when people are making noise around them...
Even Albert Einstein could not study in such an environment. My advice would be to have your son study in an absolutely quiet room with absolutely no distractions.
It also helps to stay away from sugary drinks and snacks because those make people hyperactive and unable to concentrate.
Hope that helps
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I will try surely but you see this age is very critical . They think they know everything but actually they need some guidance which they donot want to take from parents. I am just looking for some class or training which help him to bring his to focus on his studies.
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his lack on interest is because he is bored, nothing more!
he lacks self motivation to do well in his studies because he sees no need for it
likely you have spoilt him since childhood and gave him everthing he wants so he sees no need to work for anything himself
the trick now is how to get him interested in creating a future for himself, one that he will like and will be willing to put in the necessary effort
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Ed
11 yrs ago
I have a friend whose daughter was lacking motivation ... he sent her off to outward bound .. and he said it changed her life...
I believe they have branches in HK/Asia http://www.outwardbound.org/
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Thanks everyone for valid suggestion.
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What's keeping him busy now? (games, phones, friends, etc.?)
It will help other readers if you can update this thread later on (on what you did, and results).
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he just started watching english serials online that is occuping most of his time and some games. one more thing here in hk university students gets lot of free time and exposure to get spoiled. some use time wisely some misusing. i spoke to him yesterday said pls keep computer away for a atleast one month completly and give your mind rest from those serials and games. he actully accepts and understands
before getting worse he should stop. but children are spoiling by online computer games and social network sites too much. they cannot stop msgs or games after some point of time. i m going to check some art of living courses in hk. not yet tried. lets see. but one good thing is he understands and regrets.
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blaming the computer and the games for your son'e lack of motivation is like a fat man blaming a restaurant for being there!
the computer, the games and the restaurant for that matter are a convient excuse.
a more likley cause for your son's apparent apathy could be the role models in his life, i.e. you the parents.
what have you done lately to show that you are a "go getter", a person who takes life by the horns and make the most of it ???
or are you just another one of those who go to work, return home to bitch and complain about how tough and unfair life is, have dinner then sit in front of the telly and watch chinese soaps from 7 PM to 10:30, then go the bed only to repeat the cycle the next day ?
funny thing is there are many people in this latter category that complain about their children's lack of motivation to make something of themselves and succeed in life..........it's actually quite funny if not for the sad reality!
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CW@HK
11 yrs ago
I can't see anything wrong with relaxing in front of the TV after a hard day at work! What do you do after work every night?
How do you `take life by the horns and make the most of it'???
Personally, apart from going for a few beers or doing some exercise during the week I am quite happy to sit on the couch and watch TV, films or documentaries and save the more exciting stuff for the weekends.
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CW@HK.....".....can't see anything wrong withrelaxing in front of a TV..." neither can I, if that's your kink
it's this mother who seems to have a problem with her son
as for how to take life by the horns and make the most of it ???
well, to put it simply, there are 3 kinds of people in this world
- those who make things happen
- those who wait for things to happen
- and those who wonder what the hell happened
I'm guessing you're number 2 :)
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One of the best way to do in your children about that is make them realize what is life without any academic knowledge where in some part of the world education is a very important fact to reach all your dreams in life.
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follow Remmy's suggestion: let him take cocaine so his concentration is higher and more focused.
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seriously Rititt, please dont bring in your feud with Remmy to another thread. It's the 2 of you's problem and we're here to discuss OP's problem.
To OP : how about cutting off all allowances and send him out to do some really basic labour. Let him understand the toughness of earning money and make him realize how fortunate he is that everything is paid.
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Malka,
You have some wonderful advices including the ego bit. However most of them are too trite. The one below, also trite to me is nevertheless interesting and I would like to seek your view on how to go about this? Specially considering that children's are generally not listening.
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I tend to set a broad framework of what is reasonable to expect working with them so they understand that certain things like doing well in school and an active life are in their own best interest. When they get bogged down in some subject, I help them find ways of getting to grips with it.
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My 2C is that one needs a carrot and stick policy. Provide incentives for attaining some goals. Yes cash or geek toys are good to start with. Also kick them towards something they like or could excel in is also worth doing. Lastly take them for walks, kayaking, beach, etc and make them bloody tired. This should put some life into their life and potentially lead them on....
BTW outward bound has HK unit. In Sai Kung.
http://www.outwardbound.org.hk/
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F- and Malka, I believe that both of you have good ideas.
If you are/were a parent, you know that each child is different and correspond to different approaches. My own children need different approaches when it comes to discipline, which is way far from what I have envisioned in my childless days watching parents struggling with their child.
To OP, today, I bumped into a mom who sent her son to outward bound, and raved about it.
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