Do I tell or keep it silent?

Posted by s1339 (241 days ago)

Last night, I noticed from my kitchen window, I can see through the shadow of someone taking a shower in front of his bathroom window from the other side. I couldn't see the person completely, but seeing his action of showering & and the blur of private parts is bad enough, isn't it? I am not sure if the tenant realizes him showering in front of the bathroom window is seen by the neighbor buildings.

This is not a crime as the windows are in original condition (the not 100% clear type, but if your lightbulb is really bright, then it can be an issue), but if I am the person, I would prefer not having anyone seeing how I take my shower.

Should I tell make a note to all tenants in the building to watch out so that I don't embarrass the particular one in the specific unit? Or this is considered ok in HK as long as the face is not seen?

Advise pls!

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Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (241 days ago)

Learn to look the other way... this is HK and many folks live in each others shadows lit et fig... and he cannot move his shower but you can respect his privacy or get some curtains.

Posted by Ed (241 days ago)

Perhaps you could slip an anonymous note under the door...

Posted by FKKC (241 days ago)

Make a note to all tenants. You are doing a good deed.

Posted by MayC (241 days ago)

I agree with Ed. Slip him a note under the door. I mean, if it were me, I'd like to know and if I got a note under my door, I'd be embarrassed as hell but I would appreciate being told.

Posted by funbobby (241 days ago)

or in his mailbox if your afraid of getting busted at the threshold lol

Posted by iKnow (241 days ago)

Where is he supposed to shower if not in his own bathroom?

Posted by axptguy38 (241 days ago)

"Perhaps you could slip an anonymous note under the door..."

That should do it. No need to make a big deal out of it.

Posted by FKKC (241 days ago)

Since all the windows are in these original forms and situation like this can happen as O.P. has encountered, it would be for the best of interest to all tenants to take note of it. Making remedy will be up to them.
s1339, you will be doing a good neigbouring thing (that is, if it is your intention) as informing one unit and informing all units in the compound makes no difference to you but it will make a lot of differences to the unsuspecting ones.

Posted by thundercatchergo (241 days ago)

why do you assume he doesn't want everyone to see him?

Posted by kim.constable (240 days ago)

Agreed with thunder. There is the possibility that your neighbour really doesn't care who sees him naked. That would leave you as the only party who really has a problem with the situation. If so, it would be best for you to source some curtains.

It sounds as though the glass is partially frosted anyway?

Posted by funbobby (240 days ago)

not really kim...it just means OP is the only party who has spoken out in this forum...who knows how many others are uncomfortable with the situation in the surrounding buildings? a simple note seems an easy thing to do, and IF the guy is an exhibitionist, he'll ignore the note and continue what he's doing...then anyone offended can go and get curtains...

Posted by FKKC (240 days ago)

Very well put funbobby.

Posted by asiaxpat123 (239 days ago)

u can neva pick up all the thorns in the world.....so betta wear shoes

Posted by sandylue (239 days ago)

My shower is right in front of the blurry windows too. When I moved in to my new flat, I didn't realise that people can see my figure when taking shower until I saw my husband from my kitchen window. So whenever I take shower now, I would switch on the lights above the sink rather than the light above my shower. It makes a lot of difference. I would suggest you to slip a note under the door. I think it's unless to notify the management office about this.

Posted by Loyd Grossman is Miss Venezuela (238 days ago)

Don't be such as busy-body. Look the other way. Who cares?

Posted by axptguy38 (238 days ago)

"Don't be such as busy-body. Look the other way. Who cares?"

Actually this would be my opinion as well.

Posted by Loyd Grossman is Miss Venezuela (238 days ago)

As an exhibitionist, I'm thinking of rigging a big neon sign to the outside of my bathroom window. The sign will take the form of a large flashing arrow with the Chinese characters for 'hot stuff' running down the middle. Every evening, before taking a shower, I shall open the window and switch it on. My glorious middle-aged pizza-honed body will then be revealed for the whole world to see. I see it as performance art and a way of boosting HK's coffers during a recession.

Posted by funbobby (238 days ago)

make sure it's not a cold shower...

Posted by FKKC (238 days ago)

I guess as much - those that have the 'don't care attitude' must have a good body they want to exhibit - each to 'their' own - no problem there!!!

Posted by TLWalther (238 days ago)

a lot of damage in this world is done by people trying to "be good" or "fix things" ...
this is HK, not North America ... people know that they live very close to each other.
I have to agree with:
"Don't be such as busy-body. Look the other way. Who cares?"

Posted by FKKC (238 days ago)

So TLWalther you suggest that in HK, you do nothing and in North America, you do! Why? What and where are the differences? Are the people/race there more worthy for you to make the effort and HK not? I really don't get it!!

P.S. Don't forget that HK is an international city - so to speak.

Posted by Loyd Grossman is Miss Venezuela (237 days ago)

By the way, what is Cantonese for 'Hot stuff' with regard to physical attributes? Will the direct translation 'Houh lahtga!' suffice?

Posted by Loyd Grossman is Miss Venezuela (237 days ago)

FKKC, As any European/US long-term resident of HK knows, people tend to mind their own business more in this part of the world. It's cultural. Just look at China's foreign policy with regard to US/UK.

Posted by dadda (237 days ago)

if you want a peek, then peek. If you don't, then don't.

Putting notes around the apartments is silly.

Posted by housed (237 days ago)

Loyd, "houh lahtga" could certainly translate into "hot stuff" - but only relevent in your case if you had a red hot chili pepper up your "glorious middle aged pizza honed ass"!! LOL

Posted by FKKC (237 days ago)

LGMV - we are talking about natural human behaviour here, not politics. Politics can be dirty - all around - let's leave it to the experts.

The OP was just asking advice to tell or not to tell as she is uncomfortable with the sight. Opinions differ and it's OK - but please don't blame it on 'the cultural thing'.

BTW, if I must, I would rather be a busy-body stopping a brawl on the street in HK rather than in North American because in HK I might get hurt whereas in N.America, I could accidentally be gun-down.

Posted by Loyd Grossman is Miss Venezuela (237 days ago)

FKKC, Can't quite follow your reasoning. I was just surprised you brought up the question of race with regard to TLWalther's comment. You sound like a social worker on speed.

Posted by FKKC (237 days ago)

quote from dadda...
"if you want a peek, then peek. If you don't, then don't". Well put
"Putting notes around the apartments is silly". Nobody suggest that, not even the O.P. ha ha ha....I can imagine if the compound consists of more than 50 units...and the person sneaking around putting little notes into the doorways and got caught........

Life is too good to be too serious.....peace.....everybody.....let's just laugh it off!

Posted by Loyd Grossman is Miss Venezuela (237 days ago)

Actually the more I think about my 'middle-aged man takes shower in public' performance art idea, the more I think it is a money-spinner - especially if I could get a flat over Lan Kwai Fong. Better than the 'Hong Kong City of Light' light show and considerably cheaper. Might cause a riot though.

Posted by funbobby (237 days ago)

last time a middle aged man undressed in public, the po-lice blew his head off...(by accident, ahem)...just make sure to remove any chairs from the vicinity, and for god's sake, don't urinate whatever you do! (but that's a whooooole other thread...)

Posted by FKKC (237 days ago)

Very good sense of humour. Spirits lifted!! We needed that!!

Posted by dadda (237 days ago)

FKKC - Putting notes around the apartments is silly". Nobody suggest that, not even the O.P. ha ha ha....I can imagine if the compound consists of more than 50 units...and the person sneaking around putting little notes into the doorways and got caught........


actually you are the one that suggested it... "Make a note to all tenants. You are doing a good deed."

Am I confused??

Posted by FKKC (237 days ago)

Yes, dadda, I can see you are confused. Make a NOTE, not NOTES meant the OP would be like asking management to put a notice on the hall-board to inform all tenants of this drawback regarding the window-pane issue which some may not be aware of and may wish to rectify if necessary.

Posted by TLWalther (236 days ago)

FKKC ...
quote:"So .. you suggest that in HK, you do nothing and in North America, you do! "

No I'm not. I suggest to do nothing, full stop. Except for the OP to not be such a busy body.


quote: "Why? What and where are the differences? "

If you can watch someone showering in the US you most probably are trespassing on their property if it's in the countryside ... or you're using binoculars in the city, as nowhere else but in asia you'll find residential highrises clustered together with such little space. that's all the difference that was implied

Are the people/race there more worthy for you to make the effort and HK not? I really don't get it!! .... "

Why are you so biased to connect random things with race or racial predjudice? I couldn't believe it when I read that. LGMV's "you sound like a social worker on speed" comment quite hit the spot.

I appreciate that the OP and you try to do good, but - as said before - don't try to fix everything, especially don't try to fix things that are't broken.
What if (I know this is unlikely, but possible nonetheless) the person in that bathroom is a little bit paranoid and could not handle the fact that she/he has been watched all this time and now REALLY suffers? Ignorance can be bliss ...

just don't look if it bugs you ...

Posted by FKKC (236 days ago)

TL - N.America have highrises too - so what is the difference when you wrote "this is HK, not North America" so one should take action there and not in HK??.... comparing the 2 places gave me this impression & causing me to connect to racial prejudice - it's just that simple!

Posted by foxmulder (236 days ago)

Oh, for god's sake!! What's all this nonsense about racial prejudice?? Why not keep on topic? Best advice is just slip a note in his letter box ("not sure if you are are of this but we can all watch you having a shower and see your, er, bits.... But do you have to soap them so vigorously and for so long? Gives all the girls a good laugh, of course...."

Posted by cinderella.57 (236 days ago)

It could be the wives people are watching!

Posted by FKKC (236 days ago)

foxmulder, please don't swear - it's not funny. Have some respect for religion!

Posted by foxmulder (230 days ago)

Respect for religion?? Why? The great delusion: the opiate of the masses; the cause of so many wars in the name "God" (remember Bush's "God has spoken to me" comment?). I have absolutely no respect for it at all. You should develop a thicker skin. But then this is all rather off topic, isn't it?