Bad mouthing....

Posted by *roma* (496 days ago)

Please advise!How do you deal with people who bad mouth?I'm really at a lost...........

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Find what you are after in our Hong Kong A-Z Directory

Posted by philiprobert (496 days ago)

Ignore them: they are looking for a reaction from you, to see if they are successful. Nothing will infuriate them more than the impression that their bs has no effect. And if whatever they say has no basis in truth, why get upset anyway ?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by *roma* (496 days ago)

I'm upset because it NOT true.But the bad mouthing keep going on and i can't do anything.....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Tidings 2 (495 days ago)

There is a serial poster on forums who follows people around and tries to make their lives miserable. Roma, I do know what you mean.

I don't get angry, I feel spooked that someone even wants to hurt me or to make me angry.

Deep breaths......

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by kopfan888 (495 days ago)

tidings, you're not on about who I think you're on about are you? three letter user name, one of them being D?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Tidings 2 (495 days ago)

Hmmmmm no, I honestly do not know who that would be but yes, there is a serial poster who I feel likes to destroy other peoples website efforts because he does not have the ways and means to do his own.

By stalking people on forums, he gets lots of people to stop posting and of course, turns off newbies.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by chinapumpman (495 days ago)

we all get bad mouthed at sometime in our lives..
whether through jealousy, lack of proper information..or just pure meanness..
the point is do not let it get to you as it happens to us all..
it is how we respond...or do not respond that makes sure it is a fleeting passing phase..
you will be tomorrows news..as these people once they see it is having no effect turn their attention on another "victim"...
so just go along being yourself..i am sure u have enough friends, who know that what they are saying is not true, to get over this nonsense

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by *roma* (494 days ago)

I have tries to ignore and get over it.And i even try to approach the people to let them know that i am NOT what the person trying to say.Should i ask them what the bad mouthing person say until so bad they are avoiding me?(which i think it a difficult things to do)Urrrgh.....
It not fair to judge before knowing what a person is rather than just listening to bad mouthing......
What more can i do......

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Tidings 2 (494 days ago)

I have an interent stalker who says things about me too and though people are starting to believe me, it's just insane. It's sort of like the person on trial for something who is found not guilty but the stigma is there anyway.

People can be very psycho.

Just try to stand tall.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by *roma* (494 days ago)

Sorry to hear that even on internet there is people who bad mouth too....It's really weird....

What do they gain from doing this?

I am thinking to confront the person....What shall i do?To or not to.....?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Ladybird101 (494 days ago)

Honestly....I wouldn't even bother confronting them...it's probably not worth it and if you do they will know that you are upset...
Why don't you give some more information...is this a person you work with?? Are they in your group of friends?? Is their gossip detremental to anything (like work or a relationship) or can you handle just leaving it be??
You will often find that people who gossip and bad mouth either have nothing else to do in their lives, are really unhappy so try to inflict it on others, or are jealous of your life and the happiness you have and so try to intrude on it.
Seriously Roma, I wouldn't even give it a another thought :-)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by *roma* (494 days ago)

Ladybird101,We are in the same groups of friends.We meetoccasionally.And we(means all) do chat online with each other too.

It infuriating that this person have bad mouthing till some of them seems to avoid me.

I don't understand Why and What this person trying to do.........

That's the reason why i post here for some advice......

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Ladybird101 (493 days ago)

It's completely understandable that you are frustrated, but I would still ignore it.
If what this person is saying is not true, then you really have nothing to worry about, and if some people have turned their backs on you, then they don't seem like they were very solid friends anyway. Friends are people who are there for you through everything, and they should know you well enough to put gossip to one side and just take you for who you are.
If this group of friend that you have are not doing that, then pehaps they are not the type of friend you thought they were.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by car_lover (493 days ago)

If u got nothing to hide, then u shldn't be worry abt anything, this peeps that badmouth u, they are just lame. And those that avoid u, u shld be happy to finally find out tht they are just some fakes who pretends to be ur friend. So, just cheer up and don't let them get to u.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by *roma* (493 days ago)

Everyone,thanks for the enlightening.Will try to look over to the brighter side and look at this matters.
Maybe so call friend are just a name.Those i totally never met before had given me some good advices.Luckily there are still some nice ppl around :)

(I am based in Hong Kong)