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Your Views would be Appreciated...
Posted by Arev (463 days ago)
Meet this guy over a dating website... chatted over telephone calls & via SMS for a week before we met for the 1st time just last weekend...
During the course of SMS & telephone calls, we enjoyed each other and the date we had was great... We really enjoyed each other... He told me so while I kept it to myself... Guess we do have good impression of each other and he expressed his wish to see me again and has sent me SMS to continue the communication between us...
I do want to respond to his SMS fast but on the other hand, do not want to be "seen" as eager... Not trying to play hard to get here but I do believe if a girl is "easy" to be gotten, she might not be cherished and treasured much...
How & what can I do to let him know I am also keen to know him better yet not seemingly too eager...
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by Justin Credible (Part Deux) (463 days ago)
So wait, this guy said he liked you, he said outright he'd like to see you again and has even sms'd you to ask you out again and you havent replied so as not to seem keen even though you think you like the guy as much as he likes you?
Er...just reply and say "Yes, I would like that" and meet him for another date. If you want to play hard to get just a little maybe tell him to suggest a day and the first two suggestions you can take a sharp intake of breath and say "ooohhh, I cant, thats my bowling night" or "Ooh, I cant, I have to take my gran to the chiropodist!" and then the third suggestion you can be like "Hmmm, let me check my crackberry....yes, YES! I can!"
I dunno, I find these games tense and complicated, I have always been crap at them :o) Maybe you will have a whole host of replies pour in and you can handpick one. Good luck! (And honestly, if you like this one and he likes you, dont let him slip through your fingers by playing too disinterested, you only live once)
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Roxy Gal (463 days ago)
OMG! this site is enlightening in so many ways!! Justin! Arev! I have never thought of doing anything like you are suggesting here... If I like a guy and he seems to be keen as well, I'd always just said "yes I had a good time too and look forward to seeing you again soon!"!!! Would guys think I'm too easy then?? Is that what I'd been doing wrong all these years?
(I am based in Shanghai)
Posted by Justin Credible (Part Deux) (463 days ago)
>Roxy - apparently being outright honest isnt hip these days, lol ;o) peh, I know what you mean though. The treat em mean, keep em keen philosophy.
Like I said, games are not worth it, but if you must, try not to be too melodramatic about it. Some women end up shooting themselves in the foot when feigning disinterest so as to not appear too keen when they genuinely are keen...confusing and timeconsuming.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Justin Credible (Part Deux) (463 days ago)
I've personally always had an affinity for the heart-on-sleeve transparent types.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by maxis (463 days ago)
Arev,
From a guy's perspctive I'd suggest being encouraging and interested and say "yes!, pick me up at 8pm". But then perhaps keep intimacy back, get to know him well personally, then encourage him more if you want to. Don't forget, being alluring is NOT playing hard to get (it turns decent guys off!)
Don't appear disinterested as he may be road testing several and scratch you out if you appear disinterested.
If he seems worth it then invest some energy, don't be a complete open book of course, a bit of intrigue is nice.
b.t.w. the above worked well on me and am very happy now :)
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by 788 (463 days ago)
Good advice above, Arev. With a good balance of having a life besides this fellow and adjusting your schedule to meet him... you should not come across as too eager.
I have always done what you have been doing, Roxy Gal... and I have rarely had a problem. If someone thinks you are easy for being honest, then chuck them out. May be depends on what activities you did on your first few dates?;) May be not, depends on what type of guys too.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Roxy Gal (463 days ago)
Hey thanks Justin :)
788 - I don't have a "problem" and have never been told that I'm "easy" either but I just didn't want to be left behind if guys dig girls who make them jump through hoops...and no I don't do THAT on my first date, ever ;) You are right, I probably AM more attracted to guys who appreciate my straightforwardness!
Good luck Arev! I say go for it! :)
(I am based in Shanghai)
Posted by zonked (463 days ago)
Unfortunately for people like us(straight-forward types), Roxy Gal, there aren't many appreciative guys!!
I think guys do like women who play games... have you read "Why men like bitches"? There is some truth in it. Though I can't change myself for the sake of guys!
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by 788 (463 days ago)
Sorry, Roxy Gal I made an incorrect assumption from your last question- whether you had been doing anything wrong or not.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Roxy Gal (463 days ago)
No need to apologise 788 - I realised that my post could be misleading and I needed to clarify :)
Zonked - no I haven't read the book but will check it out...hey if guys dig b*tches then I reckon I've got b*tch potential! maybe... :)
(I am based in Shanghai)
Posted by T3 (463 days ago)
If you must, say you're busy that night but can do another. But must you?
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Sasquatch (462 days ago)
Hard to get SHOULD mean make us wait for it a little and tease a bit to make us all crazy.
NOT feigning disinterest or we will be scratching our heads and wondering if its not worth the time, energy and money (for dates) chasing after something that seems like its going no where.
My suggestion, as a guy, is play easy to arrange dates with and have a great time with, kiss, make out, whatever. Just dont give it up right away (that way we dont think youre a slut)and he will be so into you, you'll make him crazy for it. Just dont make wait so long that his interest turns to frustration.
Challenging woman = yes
Bitch? F%&k no! we hate bitches (our moms nag us, We dont want a GF or God forbid a wife that does too.
Disinterested? whatever, we can move on to somebody who wants to spend time w us.
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by Justin Credible (Part Deux) (462 days ago)
So i guess It seems that the general concensus is say yes to another date if you like the guy but just dont "give it up" early doors? Totally logical and seemingly tried and tested. *satisfied grin*
I was watching Discovery Channel yesterday where they had the Idiots guide to Dating, apparently guys dont call soon after, even if they like a girl because girls expect them to call 2 days late or else they will be considered desperate or a loser.
Bizarre! The suggestion was for girls to get the numbers of guys when they gave it out...OR...for guys to simply NOT ask the number of a girl they didnt want to see again (as most men, through movies etc, learn to end a date with "I'll call ya!")
Hell, your guy took your number AND called ya...I'd say "So what are you waiting for?"
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by jwm (462 days ago)
The problem I see is that there is too much stratagizing here "should I call him, should I not call him, If I call him, how quick should I call him". Oh my god, if two people like one another, who cares how long you wait to call or SMS, just do it and get to know one another.You make it too complicated doing these little games.
You should focus your energy on getting to know that person and NOT who should call first and how often, that is just childish in my opinion. I think I did that when I was 12.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Aijin (part whatever) (462 days ago)
Agree totally... if you want to see him again then tell him... folk are not mind readers and playing games turns folk off...
He likes you and has asked you out again... you like him and want to go out with him again... duh... it's not rocket science.
(I am based in Tokyo)
Posted by Tiger01 (462 days ago)
Just do it,
speculating on what another may be thinking is a waste fo time. Find ot if the interest is really mutual and if not then move on, and if yes then let things unwind naturally
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by naima (461 days ago)
You can tell him " Great! I hope saturday night is okay since i do have some things to do before the weekend".
After your date, you can give him a quick kiss and say thanks for the wonderful time. Flash him your killer smile then go back to your flat.
(I am based in Guangzhou)
Posted by scorpiomale28 (460 days ago)
If u like the guy want to go around with him then be straight , fooling conveys wrong signal.
Scorpio
(I am based in Shanghai)
Posted by Meiguoren (447 days ago)
Well, like, here's another perspective: do you want your relationship to be built around manipulation and deceit? Geeze, why not just be honest, authentic to who you are, and trust that if it works, it works, and if it doesn't work, it wasn't meant to be.
(I am based in Guangzhou)
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