Final Fantasy

Posted by meattwoveg (421 days ago)

Been reading this forum regarding cheating and have a question to out out there. I am a happily married fellow with no major relationship problems. Recently i read about something that has become a bit of a fantasy for me. Its not something i would ever ask my wife to indulge in so I was wondering if i should find a consenting partner to complete my fantasy or forever let it remain a dream. I know this is cheating but i was considering this being a one off affair.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by justin credulous (421 days ago)

Lord, what planet do we live on?

Dude, you are happy, you are faithful and you are...intellegent, I presume. What in the hell are you thinking? I mean is this a gay fantasy? Coz all you have to do is ask who here had their husbands leave for fags and you will get quite a few "yep, its not a fantasy alone" numbers...

If its not a gay thing then what could it be that needs you to leave your wife in the dark? All the kinky things I can think of seem pretty doable with a partner you wedded.

Or unless its a desperate ladyboy hooker fantasy...eeesh.

Do the smart thing, either talk it through with your wife and figure roleplay, or let it go...unless of course its some gaydartastic stuff, in which case you may do well to check yourself before you wreck yourself...therapy and coming to terms with who you are etc. :o)

A good marriage is about communication. If you feel like throwing on your wife's undies and whatever, I am sure you can still talk to her about it...I mean, what could be so weird you need to go behind her back and cheat on her? Pretty sorry excuse on the horizon, me thinks...

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by justin credulous (421 days ago)

Put it this way, what if your wife had some bizarro DVDA Mike Tyson fantasies and she decided it was too much to ask of you? How would YOU feel about her going behind your back to fulfil that "fantasy" and make it reality?

You got married, homeslice. You should have lived it up before hand. I am sure Dan Savage would tell ya it aint going to enhance your life to get what you want...you will only want something else down the road, and then what will ya do to get it?

Y'know? Want, want, want...it creates this feeling of discontent. I think what you need to be doing is taking a good look at yourself in the mirror and figuring out if once you get that if it will be enough. Trust me on this, you dont have to be Nostradamus to know what will happen.

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by flashback (421 days ago)

Ugggh.....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by momo8.. (421 days ago)

Sheesh!Excluding all of the above fantasies a guy's most likely fantasy is having two women at the same time.....so if wifey is not into that kind of thing better let it go or buy some DVD's.
But hold the fort you said you READ about this so you need to be a little more specific about what this 'fantasy' of yours is sounds like something a little out of the ordinary.
Could you not leave the reading material around for your wife to find and see what her reaction is?
In a good relationship nothing is sacred between husbans and wife and you should openly discuss any sexual fantasies you have.
Everyone has fantasies heck I had a doing it on a washing machine fantasy once hehehe.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (421 days ago)

Just what is it with foreign climes that makes everything seem acceptable and how do these thoughts suddenly manifest… other than the whole when in Rome and every other excuse under the sun…

Look I am in no position to offer advice on relationships but you have the love of a wife and an admitted nice life… be thankful and don’t spoil it or waste it on a ‘bit of a fantasy’…

However if you are no longer happy in your relationship and you wish for an alternative lifestyle then that is another matter but if you go wherever expecting it to be a ‘one off affair’ you are a tad deluded… these things will have repercussions even if you have the consent of the wife as if it is something that she wishes not to indulge in then indulging with you again in whatever capacity will surely result in visions of you indulging in whatever with whomever…

Get a grip or get out…

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by Pumpkin (421 days ago)

Fantasies are so alluring because that's what they are - fantasies. If they become reality, they are no longer fantasy and therefore are void of that lusciously tempting quality.

Leave the fantasy exactly as it is for your own private enjoyment inside your own head. The reality never lives up to the promise.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by bandiet (421 days ago)

give it a go, meatandtwoveg, you only live once. If it doesn't meet your expectations, great. If it does, even greater. But if its something really dodgy, try it out first before springing it on the missus, to see if it really is your cup of tea. That's just sensible

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by bandiet (421 days ago)

Kay what you do is .... jsut let the duck walk around the lounge floor, with her knickers on its head. If she pretends not to notice ... well, you've got your answer. If she starts pouring chocolate sauce and birdseed down her blouse, you've got your answer too

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (421 days ago)

Oh and do please post a link to the 'reading matter' for us all so we can offer any more appropriate advice...

Thank you and do enjoy the meantime...

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by meattwoveg (420 days ago)

so ... thats a green light then .... !! (joke)
Its not something dodgy.
Justin , as always , feet firmly on the ground and appreciate the answers. Truth is that people have affairs/flings/massages and their partners are non the wiser. Does it make their relationship better or worse? ... you would have to ask every individual. Do their realtionships last longer or shorter as a result? .. again , ask individual couples. Men , it seems from this forum are a little more casual about sex and less hung-up about it afterwards. Perhaps women are too. Its an area of discussion that is seldom openly discussed for obvious reasons. Just because a fantasy becomes a reality doesnt make it void of its original quality , nor does it become a drug like addiction.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by justin credulous (420 days ago)

Sex is a drug my friend. In case you didnt know that, I am telling you know. For some, kinky sex is a real powerful drug. I had a friend (and what the hell is it with me having a whole host of strange friends??? Lol) who got to the point where he couldnt even have sex without being on mass quantities of drugs! He had put the two together and before you know it...

There are people who get into gang bangs and find it hard (pardon the pun) to go back to having normal vanilla sex.

So yes, dont fool yourself man. Fulfil one fantasy and its not going to be a "glass half empty or half full thing" not a "my cup runneth over"...are ya getting my gist?

Pandora's box? Can of worms? I mean, is your fantasy so vanilla and STILL not poss to let the missus in on? I'm still not losing that fruitbat vibe.

You could be surprised the lengths to which the wiffey can go if she knows what you have been thinking...you may even get lucky and go back to pre wedding bliss "meow, meow". Who knows...a good chat about "Hon, I am feeling a bit discontented...and I was thinking maybe we could try something new to spice up our otherwise perfect life, would you be interested?" Eh, if its the standard vanilla 2 chicks in a bed thing, dont bother, like someone else said, get porn. Too many cooks spoil the broth...trust me, thats something one of you will end up sorry about and once the damage is done, it may be hard to go back. Just the same goes for cheating on your wife so as to somehow spare her from dealing with your fantasy, which lets face it, is what you'd be doing.

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (420 days ago)

JC again is sooo right yet again… illicit affairs maybe through the intensity et all do become addictive… once is never enough and if you get away with it the first time you will seek the thrill again and again… et infinitum… and yup it is adorable… but if you do embark on the yellow brick river to rack n ruin then you must remember that the tide ebbs and flows and you really do need to be able to know how to navigate as there is no turning back…

Be careful what you wish for… and choose your vessel very carefully and make sure that it too can handle the ride…



Oh and your marriage in its current incarnation will be over… take it from one who knows who knows a few like you (illicit or otherwise)…

Can you handle the heat?… Are you prepared to take the risk?… And is it worth it?…

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by justin credulous (420 days ago)

If you need help getting your mind off going wayward, take up a hobby that gets your adreneline pumping!

I go motorcrossing! I am still trying to pick up the courage to go wake boarding, but hey...you get my drift. Learn to make your own yogurt...take a cooking class...I dunno, just take the time to assess how much it would suck if you lost your wife.

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by meattwoveg (420 days ago)

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind man , Aijin!
JC makes many valid points but the hysteria over sex being a drug just isnt true. Its like the paranoia over cannabis in the 60's. The sexual revolution has actually happened and the answer is .... humans are pan-sexual. Some are gay , some are bi , some are straight , some like pain , and some like ducks (bandiet to elaborate). Cheating is wrong , we agree.
For the record i also knew a friend , who since being in Hong Kong took up jogging and marathons. Whether this was for fitness or he was avoiding a sexual fantasy we shall never know but he became such a bore to live with , his atkins diet , his lack of drinking with friends and obbsesion with 'adrenalin sports' , his wife dumped him and found a real man. Maybe you should come out with me one night Justin!!.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (420 days ago)

re: "how much it would suck if you lost your wife."... usually far less but apparently there are 19,998 others that may...

Oh and I am not advocating affairs… it’s just if ya give a boy a toy if can be bloody hard attempting to make him realize it was only meant to be on loan, per say… after all he has a home to go home to and the bed was only meant to be laid in…

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by jwm (420 days ago)

Just curious as to why you would not share this fantasy with your wife? It seems you do not really know her that well, because if you did, you would be able to tell her anything.

I personally think you are selfish and self centered to even consider this action with another person. essentially you are using another female for somthing and you are using your wife as well. The fact you asked this question really says alot about your lack of intergity and character.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by justin credulous (420 days ago)

Pan-curious! Yeah, well...

You can live your life saying "You only live once" and do whatever you damn well please and hurt as many as you choose and dont go to the gym, eat hotdogs in bed and blender your burgers so you sip em through a straw...I dunno, whatever, knowwaddimsayin? OR You can say "You only live once" and so you do the right thing and work on creating joy in your life without hurting others.

Basically...a good marriage is about communication, empathy and little things in life...if you are looking outside in that way...its coz there is work you could be doing on your marriage, duder. Although, speaking of pan-whatevertastic...I guess if you wanted just that one bender experience its hardly easy for the wife to oblige...although that too can be arranged I think, with prosthetics. Go on, how bad could it be, eh? *nudge, nudge* If you watched that video of that football goalkeeper...the dutch one, you'd know what I mean. And anyone that knows, keep the thought to yourself, eh? There will be no banning today.

And let it be known that marijuana was the gateway drug to nicotine! All those dopesmokers in the 60's you talk about? They are probably kicking the bucket now from lung cancer...big nicotine addicts. So dont go saying they didnt have a clue. The domino effect is out there, homeslice. The paranoia about cannabis may have been a bit OTT in movies like Reefer Madness, but that didnt mean there was nothing to fear.

....which brings us back to you wanting that one harmless fantasy fulfilled behind wifeys back.

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by F100 (420 days ago)

dear meattwoveg,

be grateful for what you have.
unless you have agreed to an "open" marriage...if you decide to cheat you will have lost her trust.
Trust is something that usually takes a long time to build and only a short time to lose.

you have to ask yourself, is it worth it?
is the risk of losing your wife worth the excitement or whatever you think you are going to get out of this extra maritial affair?

i think most couples who are in a "good" marriage who have had relationships outside of their marriage would answer No.

as for your comment regarding men aren't so hung up on it....i think that is wrong.
it's actually men who seem to have a harder time dealing with a cheating partner. they are the ones that are less forgiving and more likely to leave a marriage or relationship.

be careful, your fantasy might turn into a nightmare.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by momo8.. (420 days ago)

Well everyone has given you their two pesos worth here Meat so how about posting the link here as Aijin suggested so we can see what you're into wink.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Lady Wolverine (420 days ago)

Quote: Hey, that's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?

Gosh Meat, if you are that up-tight with your wife, there might be a risk for her to get what she needs somewhere else, lol!
Ladies do have sex drive, and do have fantasies, just go for if, and dont mix the kids to your bed life, as we say in my country, nothing is dirty if its done with love and between 2 consenting adults.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by justin credulous (420 days ago)

Dont go giving him ideas though, next thing you know he'll fall in love with a ladyboy and run off to do something consentual! Lol.

and momo9...shame on you for wanting to live vicariously through meatandnovegs' fantasies...tsk tsk.

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by Lady Wolverine (420 days ago)

JC, was meaning to go for it with his wife of course :-) he might be agreably surprised by her response

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by justin credulous (420 days ago)

True that, or at least he could be honest with her and then she can either let him go so she can pursue all the things she wanted in life and he can do the same and everyone ends up living happily wanting everafter? Unfortunately what we are talking about here is...*distracted*...Oh, look! Cake! And I can eat it too! Without getting fat! It must be that super duper no calorie delightful variety! Sweet!

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by jwm (420 days ago)

I say let him do it and suffer the consequences

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by flashback (420 days ago)

Actually, meat2vegs thinks that he can eat the cake and go on a diet tomorrow... but, it's not like that at all.

That cake is gonna spend a lifetime on your thighs... and cost you a whole lot more than the $s you paid for it.

jwm I wouldn't say 'jump' to anyone like meat2vegs. He'll make his own decision, and whatever, suffer the consequences... or discover as JC says... he likes that kind of life and will free his wife up to find (when he's finished paying for her therapy) someone who knows what they have.

Why don't you just ask the woman to try it for goodness sakes?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by jwm (420 days ago)

Actually, I think this is all made up anyway. I don't think there is an actual fantasy and he is just playing games,

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pumpkin (420 days ago)

I think it's a fundamental mistake to think that just because you are married to someone means you should tell them everything.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by momo8.. (420 days ago)

Now,now JC living vicariously through Meat's fantasies? Not a chance.The guy READ about this somewhere so it must be something pretty exceptional that it falls outside the human imagination.
Discounting threesomes,swingers,gang bangs,kinky,ladyboys,gays,bestiality,bondage,S&M,Karma Sutra,fire & ice,sex toys,role plays,internet sex,washing machines et all....
Was curious as to what poor Meat read about that made him so tittilated he's thinking of throwing away his happy marriage to try it?Might try it out with hubby just a thought.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by justin credulous (420 days ago)

>Pumpkin - true, if you are going to cheat on their ass, definately dont tell them! Then it wont be as much fun and the consequences may happen before the deed. :o)

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by momo8.. (420 days ago)

JWM, yep the Troll stinks of fantasies.
Pumpkin,Agree but if the guy is thinking of cheating for heaven's sake to try out some fantasy he hasn't got the balls to talk to his wife about...THEN...why not post the link so someone else can have a go at it hehehehe.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by justin credulous (420 days ago)

I dont think its a troll thread, I just think the guys fantasy may be far from vanilla coz he sure as hell aint divulging for...lets face it, if he fears creeping his wife out by it, do you really reckon he will be telling us?

I bet 10 bucks its something fruity.

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by jwm (420 days ago)

Your on, JC. But we all have our own defination of what is "fruity", right?

He is not telling what it is or posting link because he has none... I say he is bored to hell and just playing games.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (420 days ago)

Meat... 2Veg... Fruit... Ducks... maybe this should go over to recipes...

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by meattwoveg (420 days ago)

maybe i should post a link to a blog , where you can all follow the plot as it unfolds, whether the fantasy is acted upon , mentioned to the wife , or just remains ... a fantasy. I think these dilemas face many people everyday , i just wondered what other people do or dont do.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (420 days ago)

We have here to do that... we just wanted to know what the fantasy is...

...but do we get pictures on the blog?... or little videos... or vouchers for park n shop?

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by momo8.. (420 days ago)

Actually Meaty you remind me of poster who started a thread last year....'Should I go back?' 500 posts later etc. etc.Yes please let's have the blog link we're all hot,bothered and bored!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (420 days ago)

Nah… Agent A had a far better well thought out handle, was trained in intrigue apparently and definitely knew how to affect attention… and string a story and us all along… and after all that Popeye and Olivia just ended up embossed on Bossini tees… and we never knew if he did really go back…

...however maybe the fruity that JC is referring to is the next twist in the tale though… Meaty and the mighty scrambled Che… hmmm…

OK post the link but only if we are allowed to vote on the next course of action… after all American Idol is over… and the Dutch kidney transplant reality show sounds like too much interactive entertainment for us apathetic internet aliases…

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by you're joking (418 days ago)

JC u crack me up. i think u hit the nail on the head too. hehe

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by shaq (418 days ago)

Your emotions and desire, my brother, are all indication to 'the beginning of the end'. You better do away with your so-called fantasy or ...

ShaQ

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by meattwoveg (416 days ago)

or ..... or what?. Of course its a 'fruity' fantasy. And no, i am not going to reveal it in this forumn knowing what the editorial powers will say. Its odd that no one else has this dilema but have exactly the same situation when they have a casual 'affair', which they mostly argue is a mistake but was perfectly understandable. Why, for instance, are all those bars in Wanchai so popular at night?.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by justin credulous (416 days ago)

Coz there are a lot of combovertastic losers with overinflated egos that need serious stroking? Coz they think they are attractive for more than just their wallet? Coz all their mates are doing it so its important to fit in? Coz the attention of a hot young thing who laughes at all those tired old jokes is so much more refreshing than going home to the Missus who has been staple fare for the last 10+ years? I dunno...why are they popular? *frowning and looking pensive*

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by meattwoveg (416 days ago)

I think you are also missing the fallibility of the male condition. It would be naive to suggest these bars are only popular because 'losers' are drawn to them without looking at "cause and effect". I think we digress here though.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (416 days ago)

But the bars you are referring to are full of losers… just compare the clientele at any WanChai watering hole versus and any Central bar… yup there are hookers and players in both but they are usually a tad more compatible in terms physical, intellectual and socio-eco stature… but you are talking about fulfilling a one off fruity fantasy so yup go join the rest of your kinfolk in WC or wherever... after all horses for courses and all that… and enjoy the consequences and 'argue is a mistake but was perfectly understandable' even though in your case it is now definately pre-meditated and vigilantly thought out… once again pros and cons...

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by dont know why (416 days ago)

Oh, Puleeeeeaaaaze! Grow a pair and own up to your own emotions/thoughts. I am not judging you for wanting to cheat on your presumably-equally -happily married wife. By all means, cheat. I give you not only my blessing but permission. But for the love of god, cheat on your wife like a man. Dont use your wife as an excuse to take your whatever final fantasy out of the marriage bed.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by momo8.. (416 days ago)

Meaty are you EllaScott's hubby from the 'Honesty' thread by any chance??? Come on spill the beans (or the fruit whatever the case may be) She's onto you.
Wancahi bars,loose women,final fruity fantasies = a recipe for disaster??? Lol.Ok you'd better watch out and if unwilling to let your wife at least have an inkling of what this weird ars**ed fantasy is then you've had enough advice here.
Whatever way it sounds like you have already decided to pursue it and want to validate your decision,well that ain't gonna happen.
JC got it right and you are being utterly selfish to imagine the whole sordid tale will not surface one day and it will destroy your marriage.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by meattwoveg (416 days ago)

ha ha , ok. Dont Know ... my wife has never been mentioned as an excuse. Please elebaorate. Aijin , what makes you think the players and hookers are any different in either place?. "physical and intellectual and socio-eco stature" ..ha ha ha ... what tosh. A player is a player as is the hooker. All fantasies are premeditated otherwise they wouldnt be a fantasy.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by meattwoveg (416 days ago)

.... and i have not already decided to pursue it.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by jwm (416 days ago)

I still stand by the fact there was never any fantasy and this was a made up "fantasy" thread

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (416 days ago)

Ok so if you have never appointed some part of the blame onto the wife then why did you remove the post Lady W quotes from ‘Analyze This’ - your original Madonna/Whore complex excuse?…

Oh and I think that anyone who has actually frequented either for example Fenwicks and The Grand Hyatt is quite aware of the obvious differences… a high class escort from a first world country plying her trade in a 5* hotel bar is usually of a very different physical and intellectual and socio-eco stature than a girl sex trafficked from a developing country… however I do agree a whore is a whore but at least they are honest about their intentions.

jwm: agree...

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by momo8.. (416 days ago)

A player is a player and a hooker is a hooker?Depends on how classy they are.Would you go for a high class one or a street strutting one?As for players would most girls go for a suave smoothtalker or a meatheaded himbo?There's no accounting for taste.
...and I have not already decided to pursue it

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by meattwoveg (416 days ago)

wow , your right about the quotes. I think Ed deleted them ... perhaps its a copy write thing. I actually posted them innitially because i thought it was a funny simmilar psychological argument i saw in a film , though that was lost on Lady Wolverine it seems. Anyway ... Wanchai was just for arguments sake , i was not thinking of hookers as a partner. The debate was intended to be about the pursuit of fantasies and how other people deal with them , in this instance a 'fruity one' rather than one on the washing machine.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (416 days ago)

Fruity: folk here have given you advice regarding acting out fantasies…

A brief recap…

If you are single – do what you want however perverse.
If you are married – you either honor your vows to remain faithful, seek permission and/or participation or you cheat on your partner knowing that you risk ending your marriage if you get caught.

Post ends.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by flashback (416 days ago)

Reading over your posts, I think you've already made up your mind... You give all these reasons for doing it, including that many men do this kind of thing and don't reveal it... (i.e. citing social proof as evidence, which is by the way, no evidence at all)

Haven't seen one glimmer of guilt or sympathy for your wife in all of this... just acknowledgement of her unapproachability... Do you care that this could hurt her feelings? Do you care at all that she may be devastated by this? Do you care that you could lose your marriage over this?

I think you've already emotionally committed yourself to doing this (whatever it is, and quite frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn what it is...) and I am even less interested in what you are going to do because this site is for people who are dealing with problems, not trying to make them.... or justify making them...


Heck, where did shame go...?

Don't drag us into this - make the decision like a man. If you're gonna do it... take responsibility for it yourself.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by meattwoveg (416 days ago)

well flashback , you old sour grapes ... "reading over my posts ...." , you obviously missed the one 6 up where i state I have not made my mind up. JC makes many valid points that i am happy to consider unlike your "if your gonna do it ..." approach to life. These are complex issues that you seem unwilling to aknowledge. Anyway , i didnt want this to become a deffensive thread but an open discussion.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by flashback (416 days ago)

No sour grapes here... that's not my fantasy... I read what you said... just don't believe it. What are all supposed to do? Hold your hand (ugh) while you go for it?

Any guy who needs a Greek chorus before he knows the difference between right or wrong... well...

Gosh... grow up... rather immature to resort to name-calling too.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by missdj (416 days ago)

meattwoveg

Everyone will have their own opinions and thoughts on this touchy topic.

All I can say is, I had a fantasy and knew my husband would not be interested at all. Finally after years, I had the chance to act on it, and although it was a one time thing, I don't regret it at all.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by dont know why (415 days ago)

Meattwoveg, let me ask you as to why you would "never ask my wife to indulge" this fantasy. I mean if my husband came to me and says " Cupcake, I have this sexual fantasy. And if I dont act it out, I am going to either die or do it with someonelse. You choose". I might consider it. So why dont you give your wife a first pick to reject or accept your offer Mr.Happily maried with no major relationship problem?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by justin credulous (415 days ago)

Indeed...in my case, my ex's fantasy was to watch me bonking some total stranger. That was a fantasy I was unwilling to fulfil as you can well figure out...yuck! Disgusted anyone would be so careless with me...needless to say that was only the ice on the slippery slope to divorce court. *cringe* But hell, even that totally (to me) revolting fantasy, if its yours, could include your wife, right? Hmm...I think someone will soon be owing me 10 bucks! Lol.

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by meattwoveg (415 days ago)

Well , in some ways , justin has answered DKW's question. Some fantasies need remain exactly that , some as DKW has pointed out , simply need to be put to your wife. But your right , i might well just ask her. Thank you though also MissDJ for being the first person to aknowledge a similar dilema , are you still happily married and not additcted to whatever that fullfilled fantasy was?.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by momo8.. (415 days ago)

I'm wondering if you have had other frut loop fantasies which maybe you got your wife to participate in? So you're a rasberry swirls not a vanilla type of guy but you've got to at least run it past your missus even as a casual 'hey I read about this what do you think?'Just to get her reaction.
Still this this is the beginning of the end if you try it out,you may get addicted to fulfilling other kinky fantasies and then..go figure.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (415 days ago)

Well it may not be... it does depend on the nature of the marriage... a dear couple I know went through Hubby wanting erm lets say punishment for whatever shortcomings per say... Wifey tried but although she could understand Hubbys physiological manifested through physical needs it was not something she wished to do to him… but after being introduced to the scene she just let him get on with it… and she just jokes that if she ever desires a toy-boy he cannot say anything… but they are of a certain age and have been through a lot of stuff and mutual fantasies beforehand and love each other dearly and will be together til death and all that… they have just grown apart in the fantasy department…

Anyhows would love to expand more but have gotta go play… but no doubt more laters...

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by britishguy42 (415 days ago)

seems all the singaporeans are living the fantasy and not posting on here, unlike their sexuall inept polluted honkies!

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by helinski (415 days ago)

I must be the only person not knowing what 'fruity' is?!!! Ah...

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by justin credulous (415 days ago)

fruit+bat = fruit bat.

fruitbat-fruit= bat.

i dunno, are you catching on now?

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by momo8.. (415 days ago)

Fruit+why=fruity

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by missdj (415 days ago)

meattwoveg,
still happily married. Not addicted to the fantasy that was fulfilled, but would possibly do it again, if the opportunity was there.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by flashback (414 days ago)

... Talk about knowing the endings to so many beginnings... Yes... the second time is always easier, the third easier still... Not a question of addiction, but increasing detachment from any meaningfulness.

Sensible people get a hobby other than their bodies and don't try to throw stones into a puddle to see how many it can take before it ceases to be a puddle.

Once salt has lost its saltiness, it's no longer salt. Anyone thinking about affairs or indulging fantasies with someone other than their partner, is taking the saltiness out of their marriage... Making a decision to look elsewhere for that is the beginning of the end- whether it ends formally or just drags on in bored co-dependency.

Most begin thinking they are going to be 'the exception to the rule...'

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by meattwoveg (414 days ago)

People do alot of things they dont admit to. Thats in work , relationships and all things. Relationships are very complex and the strength of your current relationship could be equal to the issues you resolve (both in and out of it). There is no single formula for a succesfull relationship and no amount of metaphors will help explain them. Im sure there is a more complex story to JC's one. But at least his ex actually discussed her fantasy with him. She obviously just didnt know him well enough to realize he would be disgusted by it. As i say , it sounds like there is more to that story but in this instance , she may have been better off not telling him. I guess this is JCs personal area tho.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by momo8.. (414 days ago)

Meaty watching your wife or husband having sex with someone else is not a fantasy it's..well..sick.Rationalising it as spicicing up your love love if you indulge in some whacky fantasy with anyone else but your partner is just being indulgent and obsessed.
Fantasies are not necessarily limited to sexual ones but how many people actually act on them is a small percentage.Just because you have some fruity fantasy and you act on it because you can pay for it doesn't mean you should go for it.Keep it in the back of your mind when you are having sex with your wide to spice up the marriage otherwise forget it,it's not worth persuing something which will destroy your happy life.
Forbidden fruit as they say...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by HK1 (414 days ago)

Actually Momo8, many people have a fantasy of watching their mates with others, many more that you even think and while YOU may think it's sick, others do not. While many would not admit it on here, I would bet that a good percentage of posters do have such a fantasy.
I do not think this fantasy is being self indulgent, becuase it would take both of you to make it come to a reality. If both people in the relationship agree to do it, then who are we to critiscize them. Now, if one person chooses to go behind the back of their partner becuase their partner has no interest or they just do not want to do it with them, then that is a different story. Then that person becomes self indulent and well, just an a*ss

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by momo8.. (414 days ago)

The key word here HK is FANTASY.Sure some people IMAGINE watching their partner having sex with a stranger but what percentage actually do it?
Between two consenting adults no problem who are we to judge and criticise each to their own.Some like it straight up some like it on the rocks with Coke and one of those tropical umbrellas and a straw.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by HK1 (414 days ago)

Actually,I know many people that act this out and is part of their lifestyle, both westerners and Asian, so again, come out of the closet, I think there are more people than you think, but it's not somthing they share openly for obvious reasons

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by momo8.. (414 days ago)

So HK what does the other partner do while watching their wife/husband having sex with someone else?I'm too innocent (batting eyelids and blushing).
I'm not a prude but come on it's like rape fantasies. Reminds me of a story about a guy and a woman's husband in the 'Sydney Morning Herald' few weeks back that set her up for a sex/bondage video with someone so they could 'watch' turned nasty and she was strangled to death.
There are some fantasies which are better off as just that.Each to their own as said before.Stay in your closet.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by HK1 (414 days ago)

No Momo, it's nothing like that, at least that's not what I am refering to. It's more like swingers I guess. Although some couples do like to watch their other partner with someone else, usually guys like to watch their wife with another man.
Agreed that some fantasies are better off just left as that

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by momo8.. (414 days ago)

8) and here I was thinking you were one of those closet people I knew it already but thanks for the info I've knocked around for long enough to have also met people who 'like to watch'.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by HK1 (414 days ago)

Then why ask and act like this was a big revolation for you??

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by meattwoveg (414 days ago)

At least we have finally highlighted that some fantasies are infact shocking to an unsuspecting partner. And for the record i never mentioned paying for anything.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (414 days ago)

I believe in living a fantasy...


...and do


but firstly I still have hair to crimp, eyelashes to adjust, a tutu to fluff and thee Red Hot Chili Peppers (and/or at least their roadies) to play with tonite... mmm... sex, drugs n rock n roll...


...however sort of sometimes miss having a partner in crime per say though...

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by missdj (414 days ago)

meat,
the fantasy I fufilled was 4 years ago and it was a 1 time thing. So I would'nt say it is an addiction. if it was an addiction, it wouldn't have been 4 years ago. IF, the opportunity arose, I may do it again

I do know of people who are swingers and into watching their partner have sex with someone else and of course, other experiences. I am definately not into that

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by HK1 (414 days ago)

Curious missdj, the fantasy you had and acted upon it, did your husband know you did it?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by meattwoveg (414 days ago)

Thanks for your input missdj. The only reason i mention addiction is that JC mentioned it previously as a danger for pursuing a fantasy. Just wanted your point of view on this for everyones clarity.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by justin credulous (414 days ago)

Hmmm, well, dude, depends on the fantasy, right? If its a meat sandwich at Propaganda then you can bet your bottom dollar it aint going to be a way-hay one off if you have been dreaming of it enough to begin obsessing about it. Straight friends I know who fell into such a situation by chance looked at it as a one off...straight friends who premeditatedly planned such a one off are now gay or closet homo's.

SO...if your fantasy is of the straight, borderline vanilla...oh I dunno, role play with hookers who say they are nurses...I can see why your wife cant be involved...and who knows, maybe you will be ok with a one off. Or the other standard BDSM stuff if your wife suffers from a low pain tolerance, who knows...

Clarity aint going to come with so many assumptions, right? You wont know until you do it...and we wont know coz we arent you...(and of course you wont tell us what it is you are fantasizing about and need missdj to reassure you that you wont get addicted to) ;o)

(I am based in Iraq)

Posted by missdj (414 days ago)

HK1, no my husband does not know about it.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by meattwoveg (408 days ago)

well , this weekend was the totally wild , as the budhists say "i climbed up the mountain to look what was on the other side" , i feel a little bruised and battered but all i can really add now to this thread is ..... thanks JC for a wonderfull night !!! wink

(I am based in Hong Kong)