- Adwords
|
|
|
BF keeps his ex as his accountant Posted by kaileybum (363 days ago) I just wanted to get a general consensus on what ppl think of this...my BF of almost 2 years has still kept his ex GF as his accountant (for his investment company, not for his personal finances). They dated for about 2 years and broke up about a year before I met him. I actually found out she was still his accountant about 5 mths after we began dating and it's always been a contentious issue. I've made it quite clear that I'm not comfortable with it but he's always said that he prefers to have someone he knows keeping his books, than someone he doesn't know. He also says she owns her own business and he's helping her out. I know they're still friends and it's totally over, but this issue has flared up again recently and I'm tired of it. Thoughts? (I am based in Hong Kong)  Posted by jwm (363 days ago) what's the issue you have with this? is it the fact she still has contactb with him? Do you not trust him? With all due respect, you are his G/F not his wife, so you really should not be dictating who his financial advisor is... (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by kaileybum (363 days ago) It's the fact she still has access to his personal investment information and the fact that it's a reason for them to stay in touch. And I don't think my status as his GF as opposed to his wife, has anything to do with whether or not I should have an opinion on who does his finances. The fact that it upsets me is enough, regardless of whether or not we're married. (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by HK01 (363 days ago) I agree with JWM, his personal finances are his business. If she were a threat to your relationship, that would be different. Are you insecure about them being in touch with one another? I know from personal expereince it is a real hassle changing finance people, of course depending on how much he has invested. It sounds to me like you have more of a proplem with him seeing his ex, in any capacity. Tough call, but I would say it's his decision and if you have asked him to change firms and he said no, well, sounds to me like you might have an indication of where the future is headed (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by kaileybum (363 days ago) It wasn't such a hassle for him to change from his previous accountant to her, so why is it more difficult to change from her to someone else? (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (363 days ago) OK the problem is yours… and you have a problem… and thus so does he... and do not worry I think we all occasionally have problems with occasional exes. (I am based in Unspecified) Posted by kaileybum (363 days ago) Well, you're the one that said it was such a hassle, so I'm asking you. And yes, I will be asking him the same question. (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by HK01 (363 days ago) I guess the problem is you want him to switch, mostly because she is his EX, and well, frankly, that's sometimes not enough and can be construed as rather imature and insecure (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by kaileybum (363 days ago) You're right Aijin, I have been insecure about this particular ex, esp when I didn't even know she was still his accountant until a few months after we started dating. And yes, I also think that irrational as it may be, unless he addresses this issue, it will never go away. And no, I don't expect a man to understand the emotions behind this, they just think, she's just his accountant yadda yadda, get over it etc. Perhaps not the same thing, but what if your GF's ex is still her gynacologist? He's just a doctor and she'd rather go to someone she knows than someone she doesn't...I bet then the men won't be so "get over it" about the situation. :P (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by kaileybum (363 days ago) To HK01...of course I want him to switch because it's his EX...that's the whole point! I don't care if they're still friends, but for her to still have access to his personal financial info is a little too close for comfort. (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by HK01 (363 days ago) If your boyfriend is that insensitive to your needs and feels now, where is this all leading? Do you think this is a long term relationship? (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (363 days ago) kaileybum: Indeedly doodly... it does not matter why if it affects you thus him and as only he can do something about it he should. (I am based in Unspecified) Posted by kaileybum (363 days ago) I don't discount a man's opinion, but like I said, what if your GF's ex is still her gyno? Would you be ok with that? (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by HK01 (363 days ago) Well, I don't know, I am a female, but, if my husband had a female "ex" doctor as his physician, I would be OK with it. (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by kaileybum (363 days ago) He has property investments for which he has set up a ltd company and she does the books for that. But they are his personal investments, not for clients, so it is still personal information. As for the possibility that your husband might have a ex as his doctor, let's see if you post here when and if that happens. (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by HK01 (363 days ago) I am sorry you do not like my opinions, and I am sorry you are going through this, but please, if you post looking for opinions, don't shoot the messenger when you do not like what is in the bag. Good luck, I hope your b/f comes to respect you a bit more than he does right now (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by kaileybum (363 days ago) I do not like or dislike your opinion, like I said, simply want to see what ppl think. (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by Bubas (363 days ago) ...I wish I have only this problem with the man I love..! you better feel how your relationship with him is. If everything is great, if you feel this is THE man...don't even think about it..this is his business and has nothing to do with your couple. Just enjoy the time you spend with him..you never how long it lasts..so just enjoy to be with him (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by poppy101 (363 days ago) Flashback... a little insensitive! Kaileybum you have a right to feel a little insecure. You need to discuss this with your boyfriend. If he is loving and understanding, he should be able to assure you that this is purely a business transaction. (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by kaileybum (363 days ago) Issue resolved - he agreed to change accountant, but if he were to change now, he will have to incur extra costs. I said I didn't want that, so I agreed to let him change in January, when it's a new year and he can change without extra costs. Win win if you ask me. Thanks for all useful comments and thoughts. (I am based in Hong Kong) Posted by Aijin (partly perpetual) (363 days ago) Don't ask... don't get... (I am based in Unspecified) Posted by Ed (362 days ago) Couple of banned accounts here... see the rules (I am based in Hong Kong) |
