Feeling like the light has gone out

Posted by Bluebutton (400 days ago)

I have been married for nearly 15 years, I met my husband when I was 15 and married at 19. I am in my mid- thiries now. We have two beautiful children and have lived in several countries. We are both professionals. Although we still communicate very well ( about our children, work and world affairs!). There seems to be a change in our behaviour towards each other. We recently had an aguement about something very trivial and we just stopped talking to each other for days! It's as if there is no will to make thimgs better. No Spark just apathy. We are talking again but I still feel empty and very sad. Our sex life has detriorated,( we used to be incredible together ), I have always heard people saying that lust fades in marriage, I just find is so hard to accept. Is this what you have to settle for in a lifetime relationship.? We have talked about this but it hasn't changed the way it feels. Is the light going out for good ? How do you get it back or is it time to move on.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by Pumpkin (400 days ago)

Read "The Five Languages of Love"...that will put you on track with real things you can do to get things back to being better. It's a very easy read with practical things you can both do on a daily basis. Read it - a lightbulb will go on, I'm sure.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Bluebutton (400 days ago)

Thaynx Pumkin, I will definately go out and buy a copy. After 15 years you'd think we would have tried it all although- but I'm going to be open and read your recomendation , thank you.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by mayo (400 days ago)

I have been married 16 going on 17 years we all have our ups and downs and you persist because it's worth it. Last year I was feeling much like you are now and I made point of sitting close to my husband when we were watching tv, holding hands when we went out together and sleeping closer together at night even though I felt like a git. He seemed to notice and picked up his game as well. I am not a person who swallows pride without at gagging at least twice but I did and things are back on track. You'll be suprised how little things make a difference. Persist if it's worth it, I doubt you would post if it wasn't.

(I am based in Singapore)