Don't wait to say how you feel....

Posted by Dvine (215 days ago)

Hey there all,

No sad sob story here, just a stupid mistake. Kinda wondering what to do next...

Met this girl about 6 months ago, just as I was coming out of a bad breakup; so was she. We were both feeling pretty vulnerable, but I hesitated in making a move because I didn't want to go through a rebound.

Anyway, time passed....we got to know each other better. She has to be one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen and at the same time she is actually still really sweet and decent. I felt myself really falling for her and I now know it was mutual.....xcept......I never told her or made a move. I always wanted to find the right time.

Then I went home for a while and we couldn't talk much. I came back and at some point I just couldn't reach her on the phone or through e-mail anymore. It's then that it really hit me how much I cared about her, I was just desperate to get hold of her. Turns out her phone was stolen and all her e-mail contacts were lost with it.

Anyway, I finally told her how I felt.....she said she really liked me too and that if I had been earlier she would have said yes, xcept.......she got back with her ex in the meantime.

I mean..aaaargh....I can't stop kicking myself. Previous stupidity aside, just trying to figure out what to do next....

Her ex literally worships her; he spoils her rotten. Thing is....she didn't seem to need that from me. I made her laugh and just did small things she thought were really touching.

She still wants to keep in touch and would want to see me...
So.....I can try and compete, which I think is probably not very smart.

Or, we can still be friends and maybe she'll change her mind. Think I'd be ok knowing what's going on I think it still gives me a good shot.

Or I can wait, move on, see if they break up again sometime later and then go out with her again if we're both still interested.


Well, to all you out there who like someone but haven't said anything, do it today, this hour, this minute, cause before you know it, it's too late...

(I am based in Shanghai)

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Posted by P.M (215 days ago)

Sweetie if she really wanted you she would be with you.now.today (well ,tomorrow)Tough I know.And if you had been dead keen you would have made a move when you had the chance.Actions -louder than words.
I take your point about carpe diem but if its meant to be...it will relax.Keep dating.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by len_in_shanghai (215 days ago)

Sorry, where is the problem? Let me clean all that sugar and chocolate for you, my man:
She wants to keep in touch with you, which translated into English means: "Even though I am back with this guy, I am looking for a trade-up. I come to your place so you know I am willing to give it a try as long as you are the one who makes the move so I don't feel guilty about it".

Go for her, full speed. Invite her over, tell her that you are deeply in love with her and try to kiss her. Worst that could happen is that she rejects you, but you don't want her as a friend anyways, so don't lie to yourself. Best thing is that she realizes you are a better deal and "trade-up".

For what you wrote, I give you 90% chances that she is into you, so go for it.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by Little Carmen (215 days ago)

Sounds like she wants to keep you as a back up plan...me thinks.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by P.M (215 days ago)

yep agree with Little Carmen....you are a raincheck for her...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by applebubble (213 days ago)

yep sounds like a back up plan to me...... a little windfall when she breaks up with her bf....
a shoulder to cry on...

screams like a rebound to be for me..

you would want it that way would you?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by T Bone (213 days ago)

She do not like you obviously. Best to find another girl. Good luck.

(I am based in Hong Kong)