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Bejing 'Entertainment'.
Posted by Gertrude (156 days ago)
I have recently discovered my partner (who last week asked me to marry him, professing his love (sincere, honest and forever) has been taking Viagra to Bejing with him. He travels every douple of months and deals with major Chinese clients who 'provide' entertainment.
I feel as though every feeling of trust, passion and love has been a lie.
I am not in a postion to just walk away. I have invested time and effort in the business venture he is bringing to completion. We will be comfortable for the rest of our lives. How do I stop looking at him with disgust? I cringe when he touches me.
Please help.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by len_in_shanghai (156 days ago)
Let me help you out, dear. Viagra = Sex with others = Mr. STD knociking on the door. This is not even about trust or love, but health.
If that guy is cheating (which HE IS) just walk away and fast.
You did not write anything about "investing money" into that venture of yours, so I am going to make a wild guess. He is putting the money and you are putting the "name" (as in Chinese person needed to open the business) and you are running things together.
You be greedy, stay in business and will eventually get divorced. You walk away and will do so penniless but will not waste any more of your time.
Just in case I did not make myself clear: WALK AWAY.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by hoyo (156 days ago)
no panic!
first, does he take viagra regularly? i mean you know for sure if he takes viagra, even when he's doing with you?
if the answer is no, then why should he take viagra for another woman? certainly a mistress or a whore is more exciting than you, so no need for viagra if with you he doesn't need viagra. if that is the case, then the viagra is for his client in case of need.
if the answer is yes, then you may ask yourself how long he will last (sexually) with you once he's your husband? if he takes now, he won't be able to perform with you once he's married even with the help of viagra unless he takes 2 or 3 pills at the same time which will put him at risk.
so if he regularly takes viagra, then either he will give to his client in case of emergency (like scenario 1) or at least you could feel re-assured that he still needs viagra with other women who could be more exciting than you in which case you could consider yourself lucky since he still desire you sexually.
whatever, viagra or not is not the important question. the important question is condom or not condom? you'd prefer him having a good time and coming home safe instead of having a good time and coming home sick and contiminating you.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Little Carmen (155 days ago)
I'm with len on this...walk away. "Investing money and time" and hence asking advice on how to not cringe when someone touches you...do you need advice on how to marry this cringeworthy fop too? *cringe* Dont do it. Nothing is worth your life.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by sunsetpassion (155 days ago)
...
(I am based in Shanghai)
Posted by len_in_shanghai (155 days ago)
Sorry Little C, but as a man let me kindly rebuke your reply:
- As any man he wants to impress his mistress. He carries Viagra to do so.
OR
- He may go for an orgy with his client, and thus he may need to show off he can last longer (this is a bit of blind guessing).
- Giving Viagra to his "client" would be like saying he is no good in bed. I don't think I would EVER do business with anyone giving me Viagra "Just in case".
- Finally, I can assure you no man will admit not using condom with other women. Ask your hubby/boyfriend and they will go "well, maybe with a long long term girlfriend but never for one night stands or with hookers" while we all have being in a situation of being with a hottie and not having or caring for protection.
...Again, another case of misaplying women's psychology to men.
I bet my life he is cheating, or he is planning to cheat (thus the Viagra for "just in case"), but in either case the damage is done. So, once more, WALK AWAY.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by Little Carmen (155 days ago)
"Rebuke"? Erm...yeah, I know, I dont doubt for a moment that this guy is buying his viagra so as to keep looking like he's a contender...and most likely not with Gertrude here. No readon to doubt that. I just dont get why ANYONE would feel the need to look for a lifetime cash return on their "time invested" in someone blue pill popping disease magnet who's not a husband or the father of their kids or anything, really...*SMH*
Walking away, as you say, is the only option for someone that actually cares about a life lived in full.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by len_in_shanghai (155 days ago)
Little C, sorry I meant that last message to be for Hoyo, not for you. Of course I agree with you! Money can always be made, yours truly came from zero, made a lot, then back to zero and now in on the way to a lot again...but self-respect...that you only got one.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by yearschen (154 days ago)
To Gertrude,
I do agree with the above standpoints from len and Carmen, and I would like to add one more important fact - when you walk away, never look back ever again! Not even once. No matter what does he say or how much does he regret by doing the adultery affair, once he does - especially at the stage of engagement, there is no reason for you to give him any chances because that means to give you one more possibility to get hurt all over again.
(I am based in Shanghai)
Posted by !@# (137 days ago)
I know you probably want to talk to him, give him a second chance or try to prove to yourself that he still finds you attractive and that it wasn't your fault, but it wasn't. he is a flawed individual.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by len2 (135 days ago)
yeah give him a second chance, and by the way be sure you clean his shoe with your tongue after he kicks out and your useless blood touches his immaculate clothes...god! The guy is cheating on her, for xxx sake! You give him a chance and you are giving him permission to do it again. Please some sense here!
(I am based in Shanghai)
Posted by hoyo (135 days ago)
gertrude, instead of confronting him, ask him to use viagra on you instead. a man will not look elsewhere if he can get it at home. solve the problem, it's from within.
all men will want to score, it's a matter of chance of being caught. change or keep the man, it will all the same. what you can change is your attitude and improve your skill to keep him and makes him interested to have sex with you. if you don't care, then move on, find another man but then it will be the same, you can't escape it unless your mane is a robot.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
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