|
Need help - Partner Violent
Posted by depree (26 days ago)
Hello
I am helpless. What do you do when your Husband slap your face? Twice!?
Just cant take it anymore.... Somebody please help, I need an advice.
I'm a Filipina married with a Singaporean nationality.
(I am based in Singapore)
Find what you are after in our Hong Kong A-Z Directory
Posted by RA (26 days ago)
Please go to the police and report. Don't think twice about it.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by depree (26 days ago)
I'm afraid... Is giving a chance an option?
I'd like to move and get my own apartment... Does this work for now? Don't want to abandon the marriage we have though...
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by cookie09 (26 days ago)
why would you say that hoyo? i don't think your comment is appropriate
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cookie09 (26 days ago)
depree, not sure whether police is the right thing, but you need to tell him clearly never to do it again, put out a credible threat of what you will do if he does again, and IF he does it again, then act on this threat (e.g. file for divorce, walk out, go to police, etc).
i would do the above if it was a mere slap on the face (without bruises, blue eyes, and no follow-up violence of physical or psychological type). if however he is continuously violent physically or psychologically, then please do consider the police.
last but not least, there are community centers for wives that are living with violent husbands. i am sure a fellow asiaxpat member can point them out
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by beancurd (26 days ago)
Depree,
Just curious, why he slapped you?
I heard from my mother, once the man did it the first time, he will always do that again and again.
If he slapped you again, better report him to the police and if you have any marks, take a photo as your evidence in the future, in case you want to file charge.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by Ed (26 days ago)
Agree - hoyo is banned... completely unacceptable
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by depree (26 days ago)
cookie09,
THANK YOU! I shouldn't post a thread like this first off.... Just can't take it anymore.... My apologies if this brings an anonymous concern....
Was thinking' I must let this out there otherwise my hurt self will likely to cause and kill me...
Marriage does not find in favor of me anymore... Had miscarriage a year ago and things just went escalating further and often fighting on small and yet simple things....
Anger of him on me I sometime find not sensible.... But wanted to hold on and keep it going, Is this what they call bad times? Or foolishness...
Through thick and thin? And i just had a funny feeling I'm betraying him out of these discussion... Thinking of talking through to him still ....
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by depree (26 days ago)
beancurd,
THANK YOU! Had an abrupt discussion of our whole relationship during that time... Putting the blame on me.... I reason out back and unexpectedly hands on my face twice...
He use to do that before but can't take it anymore....
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by depree (26 days ago)
Thanks Ed,
Sorry, But I did not had the chance of reading Hoyo's comment....
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by Hk guy? (24 days ago)
depree, get out of that situation immediately if you have not done so. it never ends well or just gets better on its own. go to the police. the police are damn good in HK on these matters.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by cara (24 days ago)
WHY would you want to stay in a marriage that is abusive?
he DOES NOT love you. he DOES NOT cherish you. he DOES NOT protect you. he IS NOT YOUR SAFE PLACE!
a spouse's job is:
1) love your spouse
2) cherish your spouse
3) support your spouse
4) be the "safe place" that your spouse goes to in times of need
THAT is what marriage is. he is not living up to his end of the deal. it has NOTHING to do with you or your behaviour. NOTHING warrants physical violence. NOTHING.
GET OUT NOW!
(sorry for the shouting. i just wanted to make sure you heard me!)
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by punter (24 days ago)
Beancurd is right, once he's done it once the tendency is to do it again. What can prevent him from doing so? Maybe the knowledge that there's already a police record of spousal abuse?
Of course all decision have their own consequences (good or bad). I hope things turn for the better.
(I am based in Hong Kong)
Posted by jallore (22 days ago)
He won`t stop.Y
ou hit him back. And show him how it`s really done.
(I am based in Unspecified)
Posted by depree (21 days ago)
Hi HK guy,
Thank you so much really appreciate your thoughts being shared...
I've decided to evaluate myself. I have kept in my mind the options once it happens again.
It's good to know HK police handles matters like these so well.
I'll ask somebody's opinion on Singapore police...
Thanks again
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by depree (21 days ago)
cara,
Such a great help... I'll pop that on my list... Yes, I've heard what you meant and understand completely...
I'm sorry if I kept on thinking again and again... Trying to save this marriage one more time...
I'm sorry cara....
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by depree (21 days ago)
punter,
Thank you I got your point. I am considering it in some point...
Thanks for the effort...
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by depree (21 days ago)
jallore,
I understand. But I wont hit him back. I will once it happens again...
I'm hoping it wont happen at this stage...
Thank you!
(I am based in Singapore)
Posted by veebabe (20 days ago)
Once a man lay his hands on you, its the end of it. So consider whatever that COULD possibly lead to divorce or leaving him.
Psychologically, if you have done something u even dread the first time, it would always be easy to do it again and again. And repeating it just makes it even better. So if he beat you the first time, please expect him to do it again and again until the day anyone of u dies. Even when he promised you he wont do it again, he will.
if there is a first time, there is always a second time.
and most battered and abused women, psychologically just wanted to stay in the relatinship. Why? because being abused makes one depressed and lose self confidence. Thats the goal of the abuser. The abused will always try to please the abuser, stay with him bec she has lose self confidence to be alone or fend for herself in society.
and at long last, she loses her sanity and cant take it anymore and commits suicide.... its a sad unending story.
(I am based in Shanghai)
|
