irrational expectations in relationships

Posted by portanier (24 days ago)

The last few years,inspite of the emancipation,has been a difficult time for woman.

The undue pressure and the continious bombarment by the media have altered their expectations of relationships.

Woman appear no longer content with a reasonable guy who has a regular job and forgets to buy flowers,they now want a guy who earns a fortunate has no time for them and will put up with a mistress elsewhere...........just for the cache to have face.

If you look at the irrationality of this arguement you will see that aiming too high is silly,there are simply too few men to satify this egoecentric conundrum.

So here is my advice ,stop looking for a Western guy because you think he will solve everything and look again at your local regular guy even if he is still carrying your hand bag and he has sof hands.

Better to settle for what you can achieve than what you think you "may" and be unhappy with.

lee du ploy.

yes I am a foreigner

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by Amparo Kia (24 days ago)

I am quite curious as to your several posts, you seems to keep glorifying western guy, i don't know how long you been here in HK or live in any Chinese culture cities, but your opinion is definitely NOT the exact truth, and please do not keep on presenting western guy as above all local guys in HK. We are all equal regardless of race.

Not all Chinese local women are running after the western men as you want to believe, and I have seen a lot of Chinese local men earning more than an expat. My colleagues (2 Britons) are working under my Chinese boss.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by portanier (24 days ago)

Thanks for your response, but lets not get personal,this is a forum which is intended for us to various points of view.....this is mine,you are permitted to have yours.
If you read my post again you will see its intended to be provacative, and it appears to have done its job.
I am if anything defending local guys,and earnings have nothing to do with life.
As to my personal life,...........I've not been allowed to work since they let me out.
relax its just an opinion and if I have in anyway caused you some discomfort I am sorry.

lee

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (24 days ago)

sorry to disappoint you, but your post is neither provocative nor interesting.

there are "gold diggers" of every nationality out there. it has nothing to do with the nationality of the woman nor the man.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by mike204 (24 days ago)

OP never mentioned a specific nationality for women. However in asia, mostly in third world countries, a lot of women hope to marry a westerner thinking "he" will solve her financial problems. Women thinking this lose interest in the local men.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by magnolia_khan (24 days ago)

The intent and the message itself are clearly stereotyping..I wonder why this post is still here? while mine sometime ago was erased off the forum saying i was stereotyping..

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by TXcowboy (13 days ago)

I agree with portainer. There is a difference between stereotyping and describing a situation that occurs in the majority of the cases.

If you eat 10 chocolates and seven are good and 3 are bad, this means that the majority of the chocolate is good. That is not an stereotype.

Here is my story. I am a western guy too, with many western friends. In our group there are around 15 guys at any given time, of ages from early 20s to late 40s. The newest one has been in Asia for 4 years, the oldest over 15 years. None of them ever got married. None of them ever kept a girlfriend for over a year, and all of them, with no exception, either have lovers on the side, or simply change girlfriends every 2 or 3 months. All of them, with no exception, are bombarded with offers from women.

Sure I know the occasional foreigner who got married. All of the ones I know fall into a very clear category: Guys who couldn't get a western woman to save their lives. Some are plain ugly, some are too fat, many many too old.

The local men are, GENERALLY SPEAKING, great. A normal local guy is, in my opinion, the best husband there is, same as the normal western guy. The problem is that the normal local guys do not have so many women trying to get to them, so they do what normal western guys do in their western countries: They marry the best chick they can.

Now. Take a normal guy, give him an expat package and girls drolling over him and we shall see what happens.

If I was an Asia girl I might have my fun with western guys. After all, there is no deny that GENERALLY SPEAKING we are exotic and exciting. But when the biological clock can be clearly heard I would run to my local reliable guy for sure.

Hope this helps.

(I am based in Shanghai)

Posted by magnolia_khan (14 hrs ago)

Well if mercentile and crass relationships is what you looking for then good luck..look at yourself in the mirror any "normal" western girl would take a glance at you back home?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by portanier (58 mins ago)

Magnolia this is an assumption.

Its a proposition that it is taken for granted,as if it were true based upon presupposition without proponderance of the facts.

Once more in the words of Voltaire ' I don't agree with you but I will defend your right to your views"

lee du ploy

(I am based in Hong Kong)