WRONG DREAMS

Posted by julie78 (23 days ago)

I am 32 yrs. old married ASIAN woman with two children aged 12 and 8.My husband is a very careless and violent person.I got married when I was only 17.I am working in Food and beverage and the work pressure is too much.still I try my best to give time for my family.I have had a very bad and violent married life.My huband still beats me up sometimes and he is always unreasonable.I do not want to divorce him now due to my family obligations. NOW FOR LAST ALMOST FIVE YEARS, I have a dream almost every night about me getting married to a much younger and handsome guy and also I have physical relationship several times with this imaginative guy in my dreams. I do not want it to happen to me when I am awake. But this dream just chases me ...just does not go away.I am really troubled...pLZ HELP NEEDS SOLUTION..

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by mujiji (23 days ago)

get divorce, he beats you, he is not a good husband or a good model father. That is.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Wiz Bang (23 days ago)

how much longer would you wait to leave this marriage? until your husband moves on to beating your kids?

kids nowadays are resilient. if you discuss with them about the situation, perhaps get some counselling too, im sure they will be able to move on.

it's hard to live in pretense under one roof. kids are be sensitive about things happening ... you may not notice but they may already sense something is going on and it is affecting them already.

if you don't want to take that leap yet. go see a counsellor first.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (22 days ago)

i grew up in an abusive house, all i can say is this:

GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your husband is a role model for your children. his current behaviour will affect your children FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!
money is the LEAST of your concerns. you children will UNDERSTAND & RESPECT you for being a strong woman and a great role model. the lack of money will only teach them to respect you more, for being able to make such a huge decision. THEIR welfare is what is important, and by this i don't mean financial welfare, i mean PHYSICAL SAFETY!!!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Hk guy? (22 days ago)

what Cara says is the truth. I undersdtand the family obligation ties, and I know they are very strong values in Chinese culture. But Chinese culture also allows for individual initiative and feedom, in a way. You wont shame anyone but will be a role model.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by veebabe (20 days ago)

I think you married a much older man than urself? is that right? Because most women whom had a husband much older than them and later didnt work out, would seek a much younger man. Its psychologically linked somehow.

abusive husband.. hmmmm.. no one should take that for self respect. For the dignity of u and ur kids gotte get out of that mess. Its very tortous and turbulent for kids to stay in a house like that. they just usually end up having that same violent reactions.

(I am based in Shanghai)

Posted by portanier (19 days ago)

Hi Julie,

I am sorry that you are in this situation.

From a pschycological perspective you are manisfesting a "want" by creating a "need"

I will explain, because the situation you find yourself in is so bad and you want so much another life you manifest it by dreaming it...............its actually what you wish you had.

You really need profesional help to resolve your problem but first you need to understand that you have a choice.

Let me explain.............most of us have a TV we know it works but one day it stops we get angry because we want to watch a program and for the first time we realise that we are taking it for granted,we assume it will always be there and will always work.

You are like the TV, you are always there, always working ,its time now for you to stop for a little while.


Please get profesional help and don't just continue to be used because you are there.

I hope things improve.


lee du ploy

ed. I am not sure if I may recommend any to this desperate lady but St.John's sounselling is good and offer Cantonese sometimes free.perhaps you can advise her thus.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Ed (19 days ago)

You can most certainly recommend

(I am based in Hong Kong)