Help for beginnings of violent behavior



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by Helpplease2016 8 yrs ago
Hi there

Just looking for anyone who has experience with seeking help for those who are demonstrating the beginning signs of become violent within an intimate relationship- throwing objects at the partner, breaking objects of the partner, blocking, restraining etc.

Thanks

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COMMENTS
JennyTalia 8 yrs ago
Unmarried? Get out QUICK.... It'll never improve when "Hog-tied" in marriage!

Married? I suppose a police report should be lodged - as "evidence" of prior abuse when things get even worse.

There's NO spousal abuse around my home - or outside either.

Best of luck - but chose your spouse wisely - I did, and have no regrets.

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pascalebertoli 8 yrs ago
Getting out of it might not be that easy, if kids, financials, assets and yes, love and hopes for change are involved. If talking with partner doesn't lead to anything constructive, then inform yourself with plenty of resources available online. Know the escalation signs and how to act and cope as they arise. Take safety measures. Get a strong network of supportive friends.
If not enough to learn from, and implement, those resources, start documenting with diary, photos, emails, etc.
Seek counseling help.
Ask partner to not go to marriage counseling (it never, ever works in abuse situations) but to seek help too on his/her own. Often abuse situations are tied to unrecognised male depression.
if all the above does not work after a few months, consider taking a break, or moving out, whatever, but remove yourself from the situation, temporarily or permanently.
Describe issues non emotionally to the partner, describe their actions and how reprehensible they are.
When all of the above is exhausted, call the police and get out.

but never, ever keep the situation secret from your family, friends, and even possibly work. secrecy adds to the fire, however reluctant and ashamed one might be because of the situation.
Good luck.

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alxparis 8 yrs ago
Hello,
sometimes, it is difficult not to defend ourself.
I am a man, and my ex-gf went violent many times. One time, because I wanted to see who she was chatting with on her phone, she bite my ear to blood and my animal reaction was to slap her. I immediately regretted this.
Another time within a fight she poured cod water on me whereas I was sick in bed and then she hit me with a glass bottle. I had no choice to push her violently.
another time she slapped me strongly in the super market because I was a bit naughty (grabbing her but for fun).
Also she used to bite me on arms or chest, leaving me bruises for days, pretending is because she loves me and my body... I told her many times not to do that but she won't stop.
I always thought she would change and get better but I think this will not happen. This is not a normal behavior for a human being...
I guess there is no way to fix that from my side

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