Sex

Posted by BMW 330i (144 days ago)

Hi

Not sure where to start and kinda feel embaress as well. Anyway, any advise from you ladies would be appreciated.

My husband and I been married for almost 8 years now and only just recently he asked that we try anal sex to boost our already fine sex life. I have 2 kids and am into sex but not like what I used to before falling pregnant with my first child.

He is understanding and appreciate the time to think over and did not put any pressure. So this year on January, we tried. It was nice in some way but painful. He assured me that it is because we just started anal but would be less painful if we have more of it and subsequently the pain will dissapear without me knowing.

I tried out of curiousity but not really into it, as prefer vagina sex. I am afraid to dissapoint my husband as all the 8 years of marriage, he never ask anything of me but instead provide a good home and loving to me and the kids. He always spent on us and hardly on himself.

Am I being selfish and what should I do. Anyone with similar experience please advise.

Thanks in advance.

(I am based in Other)

Posted by sandiexxxx (144 days ago)

you don't have to continue if your unhappy with this, your husband will understand if you discuss with him. The discomfort will not be as bad the next time, your being very nervous will lead to a tightening of the muscles. Would suggest you both read a sex guide/manual to give you some alternative approaches to this.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pumpkin (144 days ago)

There are plenty of other things you can add to your repertoire if thats what you are looking for. Its not selfish at all to say that you don't want to do something. It doesn't do it for me either and I don't feel bad about it.

Have you thought about or discussed penetrating him instead?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Highlander (143 days ago)

what do you mean by "penetrating him"?

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by Shoe Girl (142 days ago)

I would think it's obvious, isn't it?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by BMW 330i (142 days ago)

Thank you all for your kind individual opinions.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by Jessdingding (142 days ago)

My advice is quite explicit but nevermind: Maybe your hubby (who sounds like a very accommodating fellow) could start off using his finger rather than launching straight into it. Also, couple anal sex with other kinds of stimulation as on its own it doesn't really work for some people. Remember how rubbish vaginal sex was when you started doing it? These things take practice!

Failing that, get drunk to relax your muscles!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by hoyo (139 days ago)

this is what you should do for anal sex, and sure you should explore it and make it work.
most important: use lots of K-jelly.
do not rush having him penetrating you. foreplay first, then vaginal sex to relax the muscles, then he should play with it with 1 then 2 fingers with lots of K-jelly until the hole is dilate then he can penetrate you. it shouldn't hurt if done properly.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by kitko (85 days ago)

I advise - "partner exchange"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by enoughalready (81 days ago)

Why is it that men want anal sex? Because it is tighter than the vagina? Or what?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by adele78 (81 days ago)

I've heard (from straight women and gay men) that if you have regular enough anal sex, your sphincter muscles just don't perform as well as they should and you have more farts escape...sometimes at embarassing times. Also they say it can lead to anal incontinence (poo leaking).

I'm sure if it was a once amonth kind of thing it wouldn't be an issue but I'm just relaying what I've been told....

remember too that you shouldn't feel obliged to do anything you're not comfortable with and it's not fair of your husband to pressure you like that. You should tell him that in very dirrect words.

I think the idea of penetrating him could be great for a laugh.....tell him you've always fantasized of wearing a strap-on and 'being the man' and see if he's still so interested in sexual experimentation...hahahahaha

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by BMW 330i (80 days ago)

I don't want to paint the wrong picture of my hubby as he is a veru nice and generous person. We normally issue over and he always appreciate our buy in rather than him 'the decision maker'. In this instance, he asked but did not put any pressure. He just want to boost our sex life and try out things that make us curious about. Adventerous is the word.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by kaz-in-vietnam (42 days ago)

I think your husband is just looking for ways to spice up your sex life as you say yourself things have died off a bit since you had the kids. I suggest you get a sex manual and try some new positions and have some silly fun together. You will soon find out what you both do and don't enjoy but the # rule is that it has to be fun for both of you so keep talking about it. Good luck !

(I am based in Vietnam)

Posted by reallyxpat (39 days ago)

well,as for my experience .. i "havent been done that AND have'nt been there yet" is an eye opening and is a good sex educational topic...now i understand well when to do it and why it must be done..well said gals..

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by BMW 330i (38 days ago)

I guess becoz now I have 2 kids and husband work long hours to support the family and relationship between us kinda drift away without us realising. He also put great effort for his kids like beign there for their concerts, awards etc...

He probably ventured into anal sex could be becoz he is trying to spice up our sex life, boring sex life I should admit. We did previously discussed this lenghty before I decided to try out and as with everything it takes time and adjustment to get use to it. I can't fault him entirely as this is a 2 way street.

Anyway, I sincerely the feedback and advise from all of you as new experience can be scary sometimes.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by jflooking (22 days ago)

There are other ways to spice things up. If you mean boring, like realy boring, routine sex life, I bet you didn't even try sex toys or maybe not even oral. Just check a few websites for ideas.

(I am based in Hong Kong)