Posted by
mimi72
11 yrs ago
While cleaning my husband s bedside table I found half Viagra pill. When I asked explanation he said that is a private matter and I have no right to discuss about if he is having any sexual problem, he of course denied having any affair . How can I trust him? Is he cheating!!?? Why does he need to take Viagra!?
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To keep you happy ....some men feel shy to explain and discuss this sensitive matter ... if he wanted to cheat you he would have kept it in the office or car or somewhere else i want to believe that ...
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Tieniefraser i want to believe that too :(
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maybe he has a male lover and just can't tell you
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Unlikley he has viagra at home if he's cheating. It's much more likely he wants to be a powerful man, and please his wife. Of course when confronted, he's embarrassed, and doesn't want to admit he needs viagara to perform.
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Wouldn't you know if he was having "issues"? kind of thing you discuss I would have thought.
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CaptDave is right , he maybe due to this modern lifestyle rush , feels he doesn't perform so well any more , and really want to keep you happy , so you should feel honoured , surprise him tonight with something really sexy and make him feel you crave for him and viola ....viagra down the drain...the tablets anyway not worth the terrible headache caused as side effect ....shows you how he loves you to get a hellavu headache to please you ... stop worry , no need
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for sure, he cheats, he was caught and then have to tell you 'it's a private matter'.
what is more shocking is that you didn't have any reaction! you should have said 'is that with me or with another one'?.
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Wow, theres some really bad advice given out here. How about this as an idea? Instead of seeking the advice of often foolish strangers here ,you talk to your HUSBAND and ask him if there is something he'd like to talk about. Thats what grown up people do.
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the husband would have told her that the viagra was for her because he knows it would please her but he can't say that because his wife would have known if he had used it on her (women are very smart when it comes to sex) and so as a decoy, he has to say it's a private matter, hoping she would believe that he used for her but since he is so bad, there was no effect on her, and so the wife wouldn't be suspicious. They are husband and wife, the reply 'it's a private matter' doesn't make any sense unless for the reason mentioned above.
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MIMMI , he is just embarrassed . , its sensitive topic to admit something's not 100% and he tried to solve it without consulting you
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if i use viagra, i will let my wife knows about it, there's no shame and definitly i won't say 'it's a personal matter'. for christsake, hustband and wife live together ans have sex together, why feel embarassed?????
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Well Mimi its on one of those "is the glass half empty or is the glass half full?" scenario's, did you find the half vagary pill before or after a root?
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I think he's cheating.
If he needed viagra for anything else, why can't he discuss with his wife?
Mimi72, do you really have that kind of relationship with your husband that you don't share things like this? Do you believe what he told you? What's your gut feeling?
I would say... go with your gut feeling...
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it's true, in theory it's 50/50 but in practical life, it's pretty weird for a husband to tell his wife "it's a private matter" and the wife has no right to ask about this etc.... weird indeed. unless their relationship itself is weird, like they have sex in complete darkness? we need more info to conclude correctly, so
mimi, how old is he? how many times you have sex with him? how does he perform without viagra? has he ever used viagra on you? do you know it when he used viaga on you? etc... you know him better than anyone of us here so you should be able to conclude.
but for me, this is a very strange relationship. If i use viagra, i want my wife to know it, that's pretty normal for me and so if i hide it from my wife, then that is not normal so therefore there is some hidden agenda here.
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Thanks to all of you for your reply. We ve been married for 20years and he is 43. I know for sure he cheated on me in the past but that was the past. When I found the Viagra it was right after I come back home from long holiday means no sex with him for almost 1 month. Our sex life is pretty normal it can be every day or once a week. we had sex right after he picked me up from the airport before I find out the Viagra we had sex 2 times. Either he use it to please me or had use it when I was away. I even sent him a long letter to see if he was embarrassed talking about it he just replied with "I love you" and no answers to why the Viagra in his bedside he just said you have to trust me!
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my 2 cents: he had lots of sex while you were away and on your arrival, he needs viagra to revitalize so that you wouldn't notice his lack of desire for sex (for example he has strayed last night before your return) so the viagra on the bed was for you. If it were for another woman, he would have made sure to hide it.
therefore the decoy because he knows that you know he usually doesn't take viagra for you (not only 43 is young age and doesn't need it but also as a husband he could have sex with you any time and when he wants it, viagra wouldn't be necessary) and so that is why it was difficult for him to answer your question therefore the decoy reply of "it's a privte matter".
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based on what you wrote:
1) he doesn't use viagra with you, that's why you questionned why the half viagra on the bedside table.
2) you went on holiday 1 month and without him.
3) you've been married 20 years.
4) he's only 43 years old.
conclusion: i'm pretty sure he used the half viagra for you to revitalize his sexual desire otherwise you would have noticed his lack of sexual desire after 1 month of supposedly no sex (for him). And that is why the half viagra is still in the bedside table, he had to make sure it was there so he wouldn't forget to take it so it was planted there before your arrival and it was premeditated!
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and so if he has taken the half viagra, that would automatically mean that he had sex while you were away because if he had had no sex, then his sexual drive would have been so high that he wouldn't have to take the half viagra!
this is a classic move by married men who strayed in the absence of their wife and they know that on their return, their wife would want to have sex and they will know if their husband had sex or not during their absence.
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and so for married men out there, if you are absent from your wife and you want to stray, time it correctly so that you need to revitalize a few days before you are with your wife again. the "a few days" will depend on your habit with her so that it would look as if you haven't had sex during her absence.
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Mimi, maybe it was a test run just to see how it works (sure Mrs. Palm and her five daughters may have been there to help out). Like a new car, you don't know how it performs till you try it, also remember, the little blue pill need not suggest impotence, or erectile dysfunction, it can be used as a supplement, to improve staying power and to keep one going, so if he suddenly became a sexual athlete, you may know why.
This is also the wrong place to look for answers, in a situation like this, the advice of most here should be taken with large doses of salt, so don't take any of it too seriously and don't let it cloud your judgement.
There are a lot of hardcore hen pecker's here (from the various blogs I read) and a lot of serial scaremongers too. Keep a level head and work it out with the guy, his answer is likely to give you some idea of what is really going on, whether its good or bad.
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i wish and hope you are right but probability is quite high for the scenario i described to have happened based on the addtional info mimi gave.
i forgot to include this one (also from mimi's info): sex every day or once a week, so minimum stray was 1month/7days = 4 times and maximum 1month/1day=30 times.
some advices are pretty good here because they come from people who had the same experience, on both sides.
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and of course this very important info mimi "I know for sure he cheated on me in the past".
mimi, all the ingredients are here for the scenario i have described. I believe they all contributed to your suspiscous, you know him the best and have all the info leading to the half viagra in the bedside table and his refusal to give an otherwise easy and straightforward answer to your question. Your gut feeling was correct.
Saying that, it's not the end of the world, he still made an effort to provide sex to you albeit for the wrong reason, at least, he tried to cover up so not to make you angry so in a way he still cares for you otherwise he wouldn't have made any effort and just ignore you when you want to have sex so don't use this incident to break up the marriage. If you don't want him to have sex with other women, next time, spend holiday with him, don't leave him alone for 1 month.
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Maybe he didn't stray during your absence, and was planning a wild time when you returned, but he wasn't sure about his own abilities, so he decided to take the blue pill to ensure he could perform. two times would support this.
The thing about ED problems, is that the moment you start worrying about them, they happen. The fear of non performance becomes self fulfilling. men never want to admit they have such a problem, because it's so integral to their manhood.
The truth is only he knows. all the opinions here are just that. you need to sort things out with him.
Good Luck.
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after 1 month of supposedly NO sex, he wouldn't need Viagra.
I think mimi by now knows the answer, being 20 years with him, she knows his capacity and frequency.
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If he has genuine ED problems, and isn't cheating, why can't he bring up these sensitive issues with his wife? Because his wife is the sort to run with an idea, post it on a public forum, and make a big deal about it. If I were him, and had any experience with a person like this, I'd be cagey too.
There are tactful ways to bring up the issue with your wife, but if you're afraid she's the sort to overreact, it can be difficult.
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No man wants to admit he is weak to his wife. That's a reason why he might not want to admit using Viagra.
Let’s suppose for a moment he likes to fool around. Is he using the Viagra for his wife, the 3rd party or both ?
If he has a _physical_ issue, he’d be using the Viagra for both.
If he has a _psychological_ issue, then is it the wife or the 3rd party that does not excite him enough ? Perhaps he no longer finds his wife attractive or exciting ? Would this be reason enough to use Viagra and not want to admit it ?
I hope I have illustrated there are reasons why he might use Viagra and not want to explain it to his wife.
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Definitely Not Cheating.
Enough people have concluded this above. If he was cheating he would rather admit to having male trouble, than to let you suspect him, that he is cheating. Also the fact that he is angry that you fell upon his secret confirms that he did not want you to find out, not that he is having ED or just imaginary ED. He may not even be having ED and may just be experimenting with it, which will explain further why he felt ashamed admitting to it. Personally I would, if I was experimenting a drug on someone without their knowldge. In this sense you can accuse him of cheating, but not with other women. Don't listen to all the negative talkers here. Life is short, don't waste it in Agony and don't let others make you waste it in Agony. Finally I believe you are Asian, try not to be sympathetic and all that crap about I understand how you feel, and why don't we talk about it, if he is also Asian. Just show him that you enjoy his company and after a while just say, vow.. today was great, did you take that blue thing, if he feels like saying something he will tell you. Best of luck.
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For the sake of Mimi, I hope u are all right and the husband didn't cheat. But I believe there's only 1% that he didn't cheat. All the info obtained tend to prove he used the viagra for her because he needs to show his usual strength in bed so as not to raise his wife suspicion. There is not valid reason for him to be embarrassed. The smooth way in which he handled the situation also is consistent with his ability to disguise the real reason for the Viagra. For me it is quite obvious.
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Captdave, even if his wife is not exciting, believe me, after 1 month without sex, he wouldn't need no Viagra, no nothing, to have sex with his wife who earlier confirmed that they normally do once a day or a week.
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I want to believe that he use it for me. Whenever I try to talk about it to him he will just answer "please trust me!"
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LMAO.... is he middle age hitting that crisis zone? TBH, i think he just cldnt be bothered hiding everything now and the charades... he's seems to be knwing what he's doing visibly this is not the 1st time he's takent he blue pill...
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Hello! Pfizer is the manufacturer...... if Pfizer have not produced "Viagra pill". Ha! You are impossible to find one. . . !! :)
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He might have another affair... and yes he is trying to cheat you.. As some discussed above he might have kept somewhere else but he kept here because he wants to break up relationship with you.. if you ask questions he might act as if he is angry and that leads a way to divorce.. Be careful and keep an eye on his daily and regular activitites
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Definitely he is!! I found out how and when.., he use we chat application to contact prostitute and meet them in the hotel. That's why he needs Viagra.
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MiMi72, now you know for sure. That app should be called whore-chat. It has a funtion for meeting new people, which turns up tons of prostitutes. I un-unstalled it from my phone.
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He used the regular we chat - when you shake the iPhone it get connect with other people. Some of them are looking for victims like my husband. You accept to connect with this people, most of them are domestic helper looking to earn extra money- you just start chatting then meeting. I know this as I went troughs the whole conversation between my ex husband and those girls!!
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