Posted by
perky74
18 yrs ago
Anyone have experience here on hiring private investigator ? I want to hire one to check on my husband and find out what is he exactly doing during his late night outs .
Is it safe ? WIll they really be reliable ? Any chances of the matter leaking out ? Any detectives you can recommend ?
PLEASE HELP
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I dont know any PI's but I can say that it is a dangerous game to play. If he is guilty, fair enogh, I spose in that situation one crime fits the other but if he is innocent and he finds out he will never forgive you and trust is the hardest thing to wi back once it is lost. But having said that, it does work both ways and he might be betraying your trust. If you do decide to do it make sure you dont get caught or he might as well be cheating.
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I know for sure he is cheating and he keeps deniying it so I want to throw some proof on his face and for my own peace of mind i want to know the exact truth . yes , i want to hire PI but i am surely scared of him finding out . thats the reason why i wanted to know if its possible that he wuld find out someone is finding out things about him .
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What your relationship will lead to when there's no (more) trust between you 2?
Don't get your question as to whether it's safe. Did you ask if the detective would leak your information or what?
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obviously i do not have trust and that is why i want to take this step but where is this relationship leading - i do not know and maybe i will know once i confront him with proof . as of now i cannot understand what to do or what i feel about my husband / marriage . i am just feeling anger and frustration and the feeling of being cheated . i am only reacting to it and digesting it but not deciding or thinking what to do later .
i still have not met any detective and thats why i was wondering if anyone has had experience and knows how confidential it is . do not want it to leak out or my husband to find out . even after getting the proof , i do not intend to tell him that i got a detective;s help .
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lulu
18 yrs ago
well i think PI do need to sign agreement with you when you hire him to investigate, there are rules for them in ths profession.
There are many around like for yellow page or something cos i heard this is a popular profession and a lot of ex-policemen are doing this as well.
But THINK, why you want this, find out the turth? for what? If he cheats,you want divorce and have the money?? If he is no cheat, will you still beleive your hubby? Will you hire another PI until you find some evidence??
Ask yourself what you want first before spending you money of making yourself more fustrated!
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Perky, dear, first you have to calm down, because you're very set alit and you might not be too clear of all the consequences.
PI...make sure that you have a pro, who doesn't blew it by getting caught on the spot.
Evidence....to prove his innocence OR to confront him, regardless if you're filing for something (gee...i hope u don't, but if worse come to worse) with evidence of infidelity as your chances to get his financial support will be bigger and becomes his commitment.
I remember that there was a free edition of The List, an additional bi-weekly HK Magazine, which was about how to recognize if HE was cheating with some PI info too.
Did anybody keep a copy for Perky?
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Perky, I have been cheated and if there is something you have to think about is of the consequences of confirming what you suspect. Confronting your husband will get you nowhere, as a cheated wife I guarantee you that they become sick liars and if they know they got caught, they just continue and make sure they are even more careful. Once you get the details there is no way back. The grieving, hatred and resignation processes are long and painful. Unless you are willing to take drastic measures towards your marriage please leave it alone. Good luck
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the money is too much actually . i did go to a PI today and i found him very expensive and he did not even give me the assurance that it is a good idea - he gave me the feeling that i am not going to find much so obviously i did not hire one .
basically , i have been doubting my husband since quite some time and i have even found out that he has lied to me about his whereabouts and when i tell him that, he outright denies it . somehow , it was not bothering me at all which was very wierd - i was amused that nothing of this is affecting me .
but now suddenly i am filled with anger maybe because i have been feeling neglected recently - i do not feel i am getting the respect i deserve and i am so very angry to be taken for granted .
also , its very easy for me to lay down rules right now and tell him that i am sure you are into one night stands , etc and i just cannot take it so you better work on that otherwise lose me but my mind now wants to know what exactly is going on ? i want to know all details . i want to KNOW everything . i do not know if i am being crazy but i want to knwo what is he into with this bar girl that he calls occassionaly late nights ... is it only for a one night stand or what else ? is it only when his buyers are with him or also otherwise . it is such a mess . i do not know how to find out ,, how can i folow him without being seen . it seems impossible .
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QT
18 yrs ago
I think Perky has said she already knows for a fact that he is cheating, and all she wants now is hard evidence to force her husband to confess...don't think she is guessing in the dark or wanting to hire a PI to find out whether her guesses are correct.
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lulu
18 yrs ago
Well let some people make some money, help the economy!
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Dear Perky74 > I know you are very upset and angry. But may I ask you how's the sex life with your husband ? I thought your husband just want to have sex with difference girls for fun. I ready your last message and seems your husband talked with bar girl at late night and lie to you. How do you know he talked with girl and what time he usually do during the week ? May be you can find out by yourself instead of PI. May be try to call me when he tell you he will out late, lets see he pick up the phone or not, thought this is the first step,
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qvong
18 yrs ago
Call me crazy but if you know he's cheating on you then what evidence do you need? Graffic photos? Save yourself the heartache, you deserve better. Marriage is a partnership, when one side falls the other sides needs to step up and not leave them drowning. Right now it seems to me you are in deep water.
You really need to have a good talk with your husband, let him know how you feel and how he's making you feel etc. but you need to do it in a calm rational manor and not in a threaten "you better do this or else" type of manor. If he refuses to console his wife or sit down with you and give you a piece of mind then you should already know your answer. Like everyone said, think about what you want, do you want to save this marriage or do you just want the evidence so you have proof when you call him out as a liar? You ask me, your heart and how you feel should be proof enough.
Word of Advice: "It's better to be miserable without someone than to be miserable with them".
Wish you well...Good luck.
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It's the deceit that drives you crazy not the activity. You need to decide how you feel about him not waste time worrying about what he is doing. If you want him, the best way to get a man back is to leave. We never believe it will happen until it does. Then it is usually too late to fix it up. It's like a final warning that even most dozey males understand:) Good luck.
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I know how you feel. I have been on that situation before. If you need my help let me know.
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CCIL
14 yrs ago
Try EBM Consulting in Wanchai T. 3621 0980. They're professional, discrete, and cost-effective.
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CCIL
After 1600 days, I think the OP has an answer.
But 10/10 for resurrecting an old thread for self promotion.
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I actually need a private investigator (one who can deliver real results). My husband is cheating (I'm 99.99% sure), I'm emotionally ready for a divorce, but I'd like to have some evidence to go to court with.
I'm not interested in ads, I want to hear from someone who has actually used one in HK.
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