Posted by
Paoola
12 yrs ago
Hi, anyone know of a marriage/relationship counsellor in HK. There are many counsellors but finding a good one is a challenge. We have been married for more than five years and have two kids. We fight too much, which is not good for the kids either. I feel a prisoner in our marriage with a very dominant man.
We want to get therapy to safe our marriage for the kids.
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Hi Paoola, sorry to hear about your struggle.
To my knowledge this will work only if you are both truly willing to work and change.
Very good luck. Why don't you get in touch with Nikki, she has helped me a lot , and also is particularly knowledgable about the dominance issue
Kate
http://www.healthierrelationships.com/index.php
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Hi Kate,
Thank you for the reference. Did she 'save' your marriage?
Best Paola
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does anyone know if Nikki Green's charges are steep ? I need to see her
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1800 per hour? Is she any good?
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bskmc
12 yrs ago
Nikki Green seems to have a good recommendation from various web search results that I can find....I don't mind paying a higher than average price but want to know if she really is a good counsellor. Getting married soon and need a lot of things fixing! Please help.
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Dang, if you need things fixing BEFORE getting married, my advice is dont get married!
Its the advice I give anyone in that position, and HAVE given to many in that position and they (obviously) dont listen and then end up wondering what went wrong once they find themselves miserable and married.
Sorry...truth...
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bskmc
12 yrs ago
Totally agree, I want to get some impartial and professional to help us talk things through first - that's why I want to look for a really good marriage counsellor before the big day and hopefully we can work things out.
Nikki is on holiday until mid-August, but I think I should go and see someone while the feelings are still "fresh"...
Has anyone else got any other recommendations? Or even if you think I should wait for Nikki as she is the best, please let me know. Thank you.
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She talks a lot and recommends a lot of reading (which is good) but that does not leave much time to let us do the talking and practice . 1800 is a normal fee in HK. Don't get married if you already have many issues before!
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Indeed...coming from the experience of divorce, and hindsight being 20/20...really, needing marriage counseling before marriage...there is no silver lining round that cloud, mon ami...
That said, 1800/hr for marriage counseling is not bad, if you consider that divorce mediators charge 4000/hr (and that shizz will drag on until one of you cave coz you are fed up of paying through your *** for stale mate! In the end nobody wins).
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bskmc
12 yrs ago
Anyone has any feedback on Dr Melanie Bryan from Mindmatters? She charges even more than Nikki Green, but is she better?
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Depends on who you get along better with, I would think? They all have different styles and personalities. Try one and see if you like her. If not, then move to the other.
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I would not recommend Nikki Green but rather find someone with a degree. Nikki's only source is the book "Hold me tight", very good book BTW. It did not work for us and that was it then, she could not help us. She does not have any other resources except that approach and left us high and dry very much alone without any other recommendation . . . after paying her for our minimum 10 sessions, of course . . . I was very shocked of such unprofessional behaviour
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Nikki without a doubt saved my marriage. It took a lot of hard work and over 15 sessions. She offered us some great resources (several great books to read all very useful) and taught us a lot about how we get into this awful place when we fight and slowly over time taught us how to recognise that and speak in ways that each of us can hear. She never charged me for 10 sessions but I did pay a cancellation deposit which I can understand as people in the town cancel a lot due to business. You can tell she's experienced when you work with her and she does have a Masters degree (go and check on her website www.healthierrelationships.com). She gave us the same book to read 'Hold me Tight' because it's written by Sue Johnson co founder of EFT (emotion focused therapy) which if you research it, is probably the best couple's therapy available and Nikki is one of the few EFT qualified therapists in HK. I have recommemded her to many people and three of my friends have worked with her and found it helpful - one of them didn't stay married though. My advice is go try her yourself and see if she fits for you. I know I wouldn't still be married if it wasnt for her and we tried a couple of other counsellors in the past too.
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I don't recommend her as after our first session of bickering she says i don't think I can help you guys unless you want to continue... What kind of therapist says that? And she confused me for someone else and chased me a week later for fees that I paid her on the spot. Doesn't seem professional to me at all.
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Dr Lee is a registered professional with loads of clinical experiences n qualifications. I strongly recommend her to you. pm me if u need her information.
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yes, I need to see someone with licences, qualifications and experiences, and would definitely not go for a try those without any professional registration.
Please pm me Dr Lee information. Thanks.
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Hi Shirley, would you kindly give Dr Lee's contact as well?
Thanks so much!
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My wife and I have been working with Nikki Green for over 6 months now and are getting great results. She is both a certified psychotherapist with a Masters Degree in Psychotherapy from Newcastle University -we saw the cert (so I don't undertand what sugershne above is talking about?) plus she's one of the only US Certified sex therapists in HK too, and has over 10 years experience working with couples, so we feel we're in good hands.
There are lots of new and inexperienced therapists in HK so buyer beware! What really impressed me about Nikki was that she saw through the crap that the two inexperienced therapists we'd been to before (one for 2 sessions and one for 5 sessions) didn't see and she straightforwardly pointed it out to us with no blame or taking sides. She has a canny way of seeing through all the craobtobwhats really at the heart of the problem.
We nearly gave up on couples therapy to be honest until a friend of mine raved about Nikki (he swears she saved his marriage) and told me to give it one more try - I'm really glad I did.
My advice - don't expect to be able to have a great marriage without therapy. Don't give up on therapy if it isn't working, give up on the therapist and try someone else. Also make sure they're trained to work with couples (and have sex therapy training!) as its very different to individual therapy, also make sure they have had lots of experience. Oh... and be prepared to put in the work, read the books and be willing to learn, relationships are bloody hard but if you get it right it's soooooo worth it! Good Luck!
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