A Feeling of Invasion

Okay, I'm just not a happy cookie and like to moan about my current helper.


Would you react in a negative way if you were me?


My little one sleeps with us in our bed (yes, I know it's a bad habit) - night and afternoon naps. Usually, I put her to sleep by reading to her and then lying with her - I'm a stay-home mum.


Old helper used to carry her to sleep and then put her in our bed or sometimes the cot in her own room. New helper was told that she could do a number of options:


a) Pat her to sleep in living room and bring her in to our room when asleep;

b) Put her in our room, read story to her and leave her to fall asleep on her own (something she's done numerous times before);

c) Put her in the cot, and leave her to sleep on her own (little one has managed to fall asleep on her own like this).


Today I went out and came back to find house quiet. Went to my room and found my helper lying on my bed with my little one.


I know she wants her to sleep and maybe has resorted to this as my little one wants to lie in the big bed. But some part of me feels so uncomfortable and feel that my sacred bed has been invaded upon.


I don't look down on my helper and do not feel it's because she's a second-class citizen so does not deserve to sleep on my bed - so please don't jump to conclusions for those who want to have a go at me for being a snob. I just feel that my bed is very sacred. I don't mind her sitting on it... patting my baby to sleep. But lying there was a bit too much for me today.


Am I over-reacting? I just don't know how to feel. I already have a few reservations about my new helper and this situation isn't helping at all.

A bit hard to regulate, if she is supposed to be in there to put the bub to sleep, perhaps pull up a chair for her so that she can sit by the side of the bed - use the reason that you want the baby to be learning to put herself to sleep. But are you sure it is not because she is someone you just don't feel connected/bonded/relaxed with. I know I wouldn't mind if one of my friends, mum, dad, sister or even the babysitter laid down on the bed to get a child they don't know that well to sleep - especially if that child was not into a routine of being put to sleep in their own cot or bed and needed such a lot of help to fall asleep. Kind of difficult for someone who does not know your little one that well. Perhaps know is the best time to perservere with your little one sleeping in her own cot and that will solve the problem?

Just tell her you want the child to learn to sleep alone and yo are trying to break the habit. Which you are, right?

To Polite employer, yes I would react negatively. Like you I feel theres something private about my bed, and I don't want anyone else sleeping on it. Politely tell her how you feel, I'm sure she'll understand.

When im on holiday i would have my maid staying in my flat (normally she doesn't) to take care of my dog.


I told her to sleeping in my bed but she refused. she likes to sleep on sofa more. But i've told her as long as she changes the bedsheet before i come back she can feel free to sleep there.


I can imgaine i will feel abit funny if i see her sleeping in my bed when im there. I don't know what i would say..i would be a little annoyed about it as that's MY BED. But that won't last too long. I would forget about it after like, a day.