DH caught out

This morning I came downstairs to a scribbled message from our helping say she wanted the day off because she was feeling unwell. I asked if she needed to see a Dr she just said she had a little fever but had taken medicine and wanted to rest...


We had to go out this afternoon and on our return she had also disappeared! Not so sick after all.

When she did eventually come home and we questioned her she really couldn't understand why we had a problem.


She has only been with us 4mths and this seriously raises a trust issue as we are now left wondering what on earth happens all the other times we are not around and she 'suddenly' needs a "rest".


Our last helper was sacked over trust issues and I'm sick of hearing "sorry" or "I go to church, I don't lie" as if that is supposed to cover anything that may have happened and make me feel better.

All the rules seem to cover the DH but how does the employer cover themselves from dishonesty. Easy answer I guess "Don't get one in the first place"...

She may have thought because it was a bank holiday that she should have the day off as well, and maybe she wanted to spend time with her friends who did have the day off. I would give her a written warning, telling her exactly why she is getting the warning, and that next breach of trust she is out of there.


Honesty has got to be the basis for this person working for you - they are in your home, with your family. Your home is your retreat your sanctuary and if they violate that - then out they go.


Unfortunately, not having a FT DH is the only way out of dealing with these issues. It is sad that so many of these women wreck it for others.


I got tired of the games and the garbage - I now don't have a helper - my house isn't as tidy, my kids have had to become more responsible but I don't miss the baggage.

1. lock up all your valuables

2. sack your current helper for cause (after re-discussing what your helper did that is troubling)

3. spend more than 30 minutes interviewing each potential new helper

4. find a new one that actually comes with really good references from at least two different employers and verify them

5. have at least one trial day

6. think about all the mistakes you made as an employer during your first two go-arounds and don't repeat them

'Tsuiwah' these are all simple things we have done since deciding to employ DH.

Our last one was fantastic at her job but was sacked due to her lies and the distrust she brought (amazing how many things she got up to in our absence and the neighbours only decide to tell us afterwards). With this helper we made it perfectly clear from the start that unacceptable behaviour would never be tolerated. Funny how she thinks it's perfectly acceptable to disregard her duties with lame excuses over the holidays... She knew this was not a given public holiday but thought it was Ok she won't get paid!


As for 'thinking about the mistakes we made as employers' what the ....

I treat people as I expect to be treated in my own employment. After my years in HK it still staggers me how everyone has a story and they all come down to how dishonest these DH are. They tell you how pleased they are to be working for Westerners and then slack off/lie at every opportunity. It just seems to me that they like Westerners as employers coz they think they are on to a good thing, telling us we are considerate employers (or is that stupid).


They know exactly what they are doing when it comes to playing by the rules, but still try and push it. Give them an inch and they'll take a mile!

If my husband or I acted like this at work we'd be sacked.


Dimac4 - Wise words that we are now having to deal with.

bod, I'm just trying to help, because you know what? A lot of employers don't follow these "simple things" and you wonder why they are in trouble with a crappy helper. It sounds like you know what you need to do. Just do it. Next go around, you know the lies that the prospective helper will tell during the interview. Don't fall for them. If you truly believe that "everyone is dishonest", then do without a DH. Afterall, you are certain she is only going to disappoint you in the end. It worked for dimac4, and it could work for.


On the other hand, there are also plenty of employers who have great helpers or have helpers that meet their expectations. I'm pretty certain you could find one of those too.

Re: banned account and deletions


Insults = Immediate Ban. Do not bother to contact me to complain about your account suspension because I will not consider unbanning nor will I respond.


The assumption is that we are all civilized adults - let's please discuss issues in a civilized manner.


Thank you