My ex-DH's working for Brits using a fake reference letter

My DH has ended her contract with me in May and has found another job near my house. When I decided not to renew her contract, she was asking me for a reference letter. Due to her unsatisfactory performance in the past two years, I only gave her a very standard one but before she left, I saw she has a new contract with someone living in Mid-levels (believe they're Brits) but using a "fake" reference letter which's not written by me.


Last Christmas, she told me she had to go back to Philippines cos her daughter's really sick but in fact they just gone for holiday cos I saw her photos in her camera from a holiday resort. Not to mention that she has got herself a loan around 20K before she went back home and letters were sent to my home address cos she missed her first payment in Jan...

I couldn't trust her anymore and confronted her, she was crying and kept saying sorry.


I've two boys and they are very close in age, so I relay on her to take care of them when I'm working from 9 to 5. There were incidents that she missed my elder sons' playgroup sessions without reasonable explanation. And one time I caught her on CCTV that she left my little boy (was 1.5yrs old at the time) home ALONE as she's gone to supermarket getting some chocolate to send home for her daughter!

I was very angry and she apologized and begged me not to fire her, I let her off at that time considered that I couldn't get a replacement immediately but I’ve made up my mind not to renew her contract in May.


I knew she's searching for a job from here cos it's free and she's looking for a non-Chinese family. (for some reason, locals won't hire DH without agency & telephone interview with their ex-boss)



She's gone back to Philippines now and will come back in around two months' time.


I am writing this out as I hope someone could read this and be cautious on reference letters or any reasons the DH fail to provide her ex-employer contact details. Cos they might have done a “fake” reference just like my ex-maid.

Of cos, I can’t generalize all situations here but at least I want my ex-DH’s potential employer to be aware of this.

Forging a reference letter. Interesting. My previous helper worked a year and half for me. After she left, an agency posted her resume online and I noted that somehow during her term with me, she had earned herself a degree in "Nursing Aid" from a university in her home country.

That is terrible. Thanks for the warning. I guess this is another reason not to just accept a reference letter at face value and that you should actually speak to the previous employer. When we were interviewing, we rang the ex-employer in Dubai to cross check the reference letter. People are much more candid (and forthcoming) on the phone.


SB2

just make sure that the phone number you are ringing is not one of the maid's friends or something...

Not surprising. I just fired my helper after less than five months and I refused to give her a reference letter. She used the letter from her previous employer, who lied about how great she was. This ex-helper of mine also went around saying that we are having financial problems and in fact told her new employer that we are going bankrupt. They actually believed her and didn't even ask to speak to us. I just found out that she told all her helper friends in our building that she was fired. My new helper told me that she was stopped a few times while leaving and coming into the building by these other helpers trying to question her. She has refused the air-ticket I've given her when I fired her and she demanded for cash instead of the ticket. Anyway, I rather that the money goes to the airline and even if she doesn't board the plane, it's not our problem as we had her signed for everything.

cara, when I rang home but no one answered, I turned on my phone as I have web cam at home which connected to my 3G phone. I saw no one at home and after like 5-10 mins, I called my neighbor to press the door bell while I dashed off home cos I just work in Central. My neighbor told me that my maid was holding a box of chocolate and came by the door asked my neighbor what's up with her.


By the time i got home, my little boy still asleep cos she'd never took him out with her and I was furious!! I wanted to kick her out of the door but after cool myself down, I've no one to look after my kids if I fire her.......


So I started to look for a new maid, after so many interviews, I found myself a replacement but she couldn't started until May. That's why I let her finished the contract with me cos it was due in May also.


She actually offered to extend her contract for few weeks as to help me out until the new maid on board and going thru the household stuff with the new one, in a second there I thought that she wasn't that bad, but guess what? she only did this to buy her more time in HK as she’s been to numbers of interviews during these 3 weeks using my computer, printer and all the stuff she needs in order to post her resume online!!

I regret every minute of it now as she started gossiping with my new maid abt how hard she’s been thru with me during the past two years and talked abt all my personal life to the new one…..

Some people are heartless:(

I've just fired my helper and she found a job the very next day. In fact she left my house 4 days after I fired her. I did not give her a reference as she didn't ask for one and I would have refused or given her a very basic one with no positive comments. My ex-helper told her new employer that I no longer needed her to look after my newborn baby as my Mil was coming to live with us. That's news to me! I fired her because because her personal and knowledge of household hygiene and her level of work was so appalling I would not trust her to cook for us or even ask her to steralise baby things. I did train her up twice and she had 5 yrs experience as a maid and with expats. In the end I let her go because after I pulled her up on stuff she took it out on my son. I don't begrudge her a job but if the person who took her has young kids then that employer has done them a disservice. I wouldn't let her near a young child.


People lie on reference unfortunately - both employers and employees. I find the best barometer of quality of work is how long someone has been employer. I tried to hire someone last week who had 12 years of experience with only 2 years.

It would seem to me that if I was going to leave my child in the care of somebody else all day while I was at work I would be very thorough in the hiring process. If an employer doesn't take the time to check references and do a complete background check on potential domestic helpers then I believe that if they are not satisfied with the helper, then they are to blame. The sheer laziness of some people in this city is shocking, and when they find the services provided are not up to snuff they start pointing fingers. Why do so many feel it is their right to have a domestic helper? Get a grip people, a domestic helper is a pure luxury not an entitlement. Let's face it, the pay is pitiful and for most domestic helpers conditions are even worse. to theMissus, you take the time to tattletale on your helper on an open forum, I can't imagine what it must be like living with you. My point: treat people like crap, expect crap in return! -Just my two cents.....

". If an employer doesn't take the time to check references and do a complete background check on potential domestic helpers then I believe that if they are not satisfied with the helper, then they are to blame."


If someone is going to take care of my kids, I put much more emphasis on the interview than on references. Unless I know the person giving the reference, that reference is not worth that much to me. If nothing else the person giving the reference might have completely different values than I have.


A helper can come with great references on paper and still be terrible.


"Let's face it, the pay is pitiful and for most domestic helpers conditions are even worse."


Only relatively speaking. These women make more than many university graduates in their home countries.

I think a written reference is a good starting point, but a verbal chase-up is far more valuable. A written reference can be a lie by omission (eg it doesnt have to say a helper is lazy- it just doesn't say she's hardworking!). If you can get that employer to talk to you, it gives you the opportunity to ask direct questions about any aspects that are particularly important.