Inspecting DH's bag before they leave

I just read from another thread suggesting to inspect DH's bags before terminating her and I was wondering if this is a common practice here. Last Christmas, I allowed my helper to go back home for 2 weeks vacation (she's been with us for 6 mo. now) and on the day of her departure she asked me if I want to inspect her bags. I was embarrassed and appalled and said "no" to her. But about a month ago, I was out of town for a week and upon my return, I discovered that she had used my cosmetics, which I'm not too happy about. I'm planning to give her home leave again during this summer. Should I check her bag next time? Wouldn't she feel insulted?

yeah, definitely check it for a piece of mind!

Dear oceanview,

If the problem is the make up issue I would tell her about it,but stealing is something different...if she really want to steal something she could do it any day ,why she should wait to go holydays to do it?

Thank you all for our comments. I initally thought about talking to her about cosmetic issue but I figured that she'd deny it and it will just become my words against hers with no constructive result. As for checking her bags, I don't want to do it but what I want to know is, is it a common practice here? Should I decide to check (god forbid), would she accept as one of common practice or feel deeply insulted? Although, she was the one who suggested it first the last time, I'm not so sure how she'd feel inside if I indeed check.

I think you should maybe explain to your helper that it "appears" your make up has been used and that you will be doing a randon check with her bags, room ect. Ask her if she thinks that this is a reasonable request. Throw it back to the helper to comment. I had to bring up a very uncomfortable situation with my helper and she had only been with me for 10 days so I explained myself very clearly at what I was upset with and asked her how she felt about the situation. After the discussion she was very quiet but I left it about 1 hour then went back into the kitchen and made sure she understood what I was saying and that she is a very good helper and I would not like to let her go if she held a grudge. I also let her know that I was not upset with her now and that she shouldnt be upset any more because I said what needed to be said and now its over. It worked she has been great and its like nothing ever happened but I still was able to bring up my issues. We have since had a chat to make sure she is happy working with my family and she has expressed how happy she is. I think it is really important for both parties to be happy!!

I think you should definitely talk to her about the cosmetics; she may confess and apologize. There's a big difference between trying out someone's make-up and stealing, so personally I would not start checking her luggage-that would only cause distress for both of you, in my opinio

Hiding her what feeling inside you,its just like thesame stealing your make up,you better talk to her and tell her what you find out.sometimes maybe for her its just fun or coriosity but it will be a habbit if you will give her more chance.checking bag not good idia,it will put some bad feellings for her and think your not trust her which will maybe reduce her respect to you in any case.talk to her and tell her you dont want to losse your trust so you wish she will not do again what she did.piece of mind is important whene you you live with somebody you dont know in the first place,its just a matter of communication.