Borrowing vs. stealing

Generally I am satisfied with my helper. She's been with me for 2 months and proved to be responsible in many ways. However, there is one thing about her which irritates me very much. She has a habit of taking my stuff into her room without asking permission. She is not hiding them from me and admits borrowing them for some time.


I discovered my MP3 missing when was going for a late night jogging (she said she thought nobody would need it at night), and some library books went missing until I desperately searched the entire house and finally asked her (she said she thought we have so many books that we wouldn't mind).


Yesterday she took a lunch box which has not been used for some time but is rather expensive. I just do not understand why she behaves like this. She makes her own judgments as to what she can/can’t take even though I am a strict employer and have explicitly expressed my unhappiness orally and in written.


I am sharing this to see may be it has to do with a difference in mentality and culture. Did it happen to you? What did you do, assuming you don’t want to fire her? Would you characterize this borrowing as a precedent for stealing?

I am not ready to fire her because before her there were two other helpers who had much worse attitude (careless with children, etc.). Besides, my husband and I work full-time. I put in written that I was unhappy about MP3 and books. She signed the paper, promised she'd never do it again and was very scared that I'd tell the agent. I said I wouldn't for that time. Now, this lunch box, even though it might sound too picky to some.


Crystal, can you tell more about the helper and photographs. Where can I find that article?

That case was not borrowing,the helper picked up her employers photograph in a bin and she kept it,since shes a big fan of her employer or maybe show around that her employer is famous,jealousy between two helper one inform the wife employer that the other helper has been keeping thier photos.