Second chance or terminate

We have a coin bag in which we keep loose change and our Sri Lankan DH uses these loose change to buy grocery. My husband has a habit of leaving his change lying around the house and our maid would collect the money while she's tidying up and put them in the coin bag and the coin bag is usually kept in the kitchen.


Last week I heard her counting money in her room and it's becoming frequent. I know that she doesn't spend her own money during the week as we go grocery shopping together. I got very suscipious so the other day (Sunday nite) I decided to check the coin bag and noticed there was HK$17. Yesterday, we went to the market together and she paid for the veg ($3) from the coin bag. Then we went to get some chicken drumsticks which came to HK$5 or $6. At that point she asked me for some money as she hasn't got enough. According to the calculation, there should be sufficient money to cover. I didn't say anything. As soon as we got home I checked the coinbag and it was empty. Then later in the day, I went to the kitchen to get something and I found $10 of $2 coins on our bottle rack. I didn't confront her about my find but as soon as I walked out the kitchen she went in and spent a lot of time in there. I then later checked and noticed that she has put back the $10. Did she have the intention to steal?


Overall she's very good towards my kids and hardworking. So should I issue her a warning letter and give her a second chance or just terminate her.


Sorry this is a bit long winded.

Well she didn't do anything wrong. But if you are upset better to discuss it, else it will fester and you will begin to look for things to distrust her in. Talk it out and don't accuse just let her know what you felt and why, I bet getting your concern off your chest will make you feel much better and give her an opportunity to understand unclear boundaries.

Let her know the coin bag is not for her personal use but for the use you have designated, and if she is using the money from it, then she is stealing and if she is stealing, then she will be terminated.


I had a problem with thousands of dollars being stolen at a time more than once (from my wallet) - couldn't prove it was the helper as she subtley blamed my teenagers - funny thing was - when she was fired - the disappearing money stopped and haven't had a problem since.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm in total shock right now as my suspicion has now been confirmed.


Just now I went to check the coin bag as she has now retired to bed and the $10 which she had put back yesterday is now missing. That money was definately there when I checked in the early evening.

She is also stupid, why would you steal from a bag that is nearly empty and it is obvious that you have taken the money??


You need to jump on it - and take away that priviledge if you want to keep her, and you need to be a bit more vigilant about leaving money about - this is one of the pains of having strangers living in your house - the expectations are different. But honesty has got to be the basis of all relationships!

Why not talk to her directly and tell her how you felt about it.

Is it possible that she needed small change for something (e.g. bus) and borrows the money and then puts it back when she has it ? I wouldn't necessarily accuse her of stealing but you should probably at least ask her about what's happening. It's not much money but if her intention is to steal she may be trying small amounts first to see if you notice before moving on to bigger things.

Not much money? If she takes at least $10 a day, in a month it is at least a $300 bonus she earns for herself.

i haven;t confronted her yet but will be keeping an eye on her and also be leaving a known amount of small change in the usual place and see if she does it again and then I will confront her.


I have heard her counting in her room last year but I didn't really take much notice as it wasn't that frequent. It was only recently when I heard the sound of counting of loose change coming from her room nearly every night. She doesn't even do it discreetly. So I don't know how long she's been at it whether it goes back to several months or just recently.


Anyway, we went to the market yesterday (the day after she took the $10) and I asked her to pay $2 as I didn't want to break into $100. She showed me the empty coinbag and said that all the change was used up the last time we went to the market. I then said that I thought that we had some change but then she reminded me that she had to ask me for some money as she didn't have enough for the chicken drumstick. Well she's not owing up that she borrowed the money.


Also she's not borrowing money for her bus fare or MTR as we tend to go out together plus I always top up her Octopus card if her credits run out. But I do know that on her days off she would come back with several bags full of shopping mainly for her family plus sometimes she would return home with a different outfit to what she wears when she leaves the flat.

I agree with Mrs. Miggins--let her know you are keeping an eye on her and the money entrusted to her. By making her feel that you are counting even the coins left will keep her on her toes. Some can really be liars about small change, but if you put your foot down early on, she will get the message and will not dare. But I still think it best to confront her and discuss your issues and your expectations re money.


Stuff she buys on her days off or whatever shopping she does with her salary is not grounds enough for you to be suspicious.