Dmestic stealing groceries

It is most certainly not normal, as in accepted behavior. She is stealing, especially as you made the rules clear.


If you are 100% certain it is she then terminate her on the spot. She is not only stealing, she is lying about it. Futzing around with some food might, if you were charitable, be grounds for only a warning, but the lying is not.

"I read in a book on how to deal with Filipino maids that the idea of "borrowing" is entrenchd in Filipino mindset. "


That may or may not be, but it doesn't change the fact that you are running the workplace so your rules should be followed. Your home is her workplace, not her friend's house where she can borrow stuff.


Again, fire her. This behavior is unacceptable. It's as if you worked in a grocery store and helped yourself to stuff without paying.

I've had experience of exactly the same type of helper, warning her did not work, she just carried on taking things, like it was her right, so finish her contract, and find a more honest helper, preferably by recommendation of somebody you know well who is perhaps leaving HK, there are plenty of good honest helpers about.

As cara says, no need to find out the reason. Since there is no excuse, the reason is irrelevant.


"Susie where to look for these helpers, do employers advertise them?"


In a way. Ask everyone you know. There's often someone who knows someone. Also, get someone who is really good at interviewing to help you.


"I cant wait until the boys are old enough to do their own dirty work."


I for one, hope to have a helper way longer than that. The gourmet meals and spotless home and thriving plants are a big draw. :)

I agree they should learn that stuff, but a helper hardly precludes that. Our kids (5 and 3) set and clear the table and help our in the kitchen in their little ways. They also help make their beds, clean, lay out food for the dog, feed the fish.

I don't think taking a before and after picture of food items will help, because after she has eaten it , or shared with her friends, how can you prove it is in her stomach? that is how they get away away with doing this, I know because I had one just like her, she was on a 'see food diet', anything she saw she fancied she just ate. Also vast amounts of washing powder and fabric softener vanished, I once asked where was the other half of special offer items I had bought, i can't see them in my cupboards, and she emerged from her room with them, they would have been shipped to the rels in the same country your helper comes from, because these items are expensive there I was told, when I asked for them back.

I think the only way you might be able to stop her is by locking things up, cupboards and fridges, when you go out to work, then unlocking when you get back. However that is a bit extreme, you should not have to do this in your own home!

If you have not given her a written warning yet, then do so, effectively warning her that if anything from your food cupboards, or any other property of yours goes missing, then you will serve her with notice she won't get a second chance.

Send a copy of the waring to IMM, so they have a record with all her details on, and inform her you are doing this. She will either improve, or the situation may become awkward in which case you terminate her contract anyway.

If she leaves only give a basic reference, worked from to, don't mention anything about her being honest, other employers will probably not take a further look at her.

If she stays, then make her do an inventory of all cupboard stock with you, quite often, then she'll know she is being closely monitored.

In the meanwhile make sure every bit of money you give her is accounted for, wages/food allowance paid in the bank, so she can never turn round and say you didn't pay her.

Rumdoodle. As I've said before, not all helpers are dishonest. Far from it. The fact that you had bad experiences doesn't mean everyone does.

Rumdoodle

Not all DH in HK used to do like that..If you have had a bad experienced from your previous DH don't generalized it. Iam a DH but regarding the food of my boss even she told me before I can eat everything in their house but I don't abused to steal their food. Even my breakfast I buy my own food sometimes and the kid is eating it also..Even my boss saw the kid got my biscuit its ok with us.Sometimes when my day off I buy and brought home some food to give to the kid and my boss also eat it. And I felt hungry I eat also even my boss is their..But so what? the one Iam eating is my expense.


Reconnoitre

Regarding to your helper why dn't you talk to her about your groceries are finished easily? Because as you continue ignoring it, the thinking of your helper is ok with you only.

Salami, aged cheddar a treat? umm ok.


Helper are supposed to help ease the pressure/work around, not create it. Abusive helpers in any shape or form is like an abusive partner too.


you have a choice.


suck it up and stop whinging

sack her.


Simple. Decisive. As employers should.

With our first helper we hired, we gave her a choice:

1) Eat our food; or

2) Get paid the food allowance and be responsible for her own food and don't eat any of ours.


She initially chose to eat our food for the first month, then for the second month she asked to switch over to the food allowance - she said she could make more money as she thought she didn't each much. I agreed to the change. However, then I noticed that our food was disappearing. Without actually accusing her of stealing our food, I sternly reminded her several times "Remember that choosing the food allowance means you are responsible for your own food and you don't eat any of our food - including "x" (where x would be whatever food I'd specifically noticed had disappeared - bananas - rice - milk - sugar - sauces etc.). If you can't manage on the food allowance, you should change back to eating our food."


Each payday I'd ask her how she was managing with her food allowance. She asked to change back to eating our food after 2 months. She never asked to change back to the food allowance after this.


With our next helper we didn't give her a choice. She was told she would eat our food.

I'm sorry but if bags of groceries were being taken out of the house when empty bags were brought in, I would ask her to show me the contents.

I am appalled that anyone would put up with being abused by any worker regardless of their nationality.

If she does it in secret then she knows it is wrong. Did she pack the bag in front of you? Take the cheese or salami? If not then she will be aware she could be sacked. If she knows you saw her eating the food or walking out with the shopping then she must believe you don't mind. If she worked in Marks and Spencer's would she take a ready meal with the excuse of being hungry believing it would be fine? How is it different? Well the difference is she would know they wouldn't put up with it, you are.

end of the day, she's continuing it because you're sucking it up and enabling her. Even when she's caught red handed hoofing down the cheese. She's probably worked out that she's more valuable to you then any foods she takes.......