problems of communication with my helper

Hello,


My helper is a 47 years old filipino lady and she's been living in HK for more than 10 years now.

She's been working for us for about 7 months now.


I'm having some difficulties of communication with her. She's quite bossy and always answers back when I tell her something. She always wants to have the last word.... It's really getting on my nerves and we had a few quarrels... We spoke to her and told her that her behavior is not correct and that she should change her way of responding and behaving (not respecting the time schedules, never answering her phone when she's taking the baby out....).

She doesn't seem to change anything and I'm getting worried about this situation.

Also, she always appears to be upset or in a bad mood (never smiling, speaking very harsly) and it really affects the atmosphere in the house... The whole day seems a burden for her !

However my 13 months baby really like her !!!

Other than that, she's working well. It's just this awful behavior she has......


Any advice ?

What about if we decide to terminate her ? How does it work ? What about immigration ?


Thanks for your answers !

She stays in HK for 10 years...normally maids who are here for many many years becoming so arrogant, its bec they know that even if you will terminate her she can easily find a job, bec of her experience, you have to tell her that you dont like her behavior, or else you will fire her, and you will not give her any chance to find a new employer, things like that, you are still the boss.

About terminating her, i think you dont have any problem in immigration, your problem is, if you can be able to find a better helper than her....you know its not easy to find a good one....try talk to her..maybe she wants something and she cant tell it to you directly....talk to her again...thats the only solution....and you said she is good and your baby like her so much. Try it maybe it works this time.

Hello Abby78,

Thanks for your message.

What you write is true, she has already told me she could easily find another job if I'm not happy with her. She's very arrogant indeed !

I know the perfect helper doesn't exist though that's why I'm a bit confused about what to do.

I'll try to talk to her again but it seems that she just doesn't want to change anything... I'll try again anyway...

Ladyfrog

I agree to most of the answers above and helpers can become very arrogant when they have been working here for more than 10 years. Because they know they know more than you do, especially when you are not a local here. Also in your case, you said your baby likes her and can be one of the reasons that she thinks that she can be bossy. As she has been with you for 7 months, I am sure that you might not really like her with your heart, but you are OK with her, right? However, to me babies are more adaptable to their environment than you thought. If you really need to change your helper, dont worry too much about your baby and I am sure she wl be fine. The most important thing is YOU. If you are not happy, she wont be happy anyway. Common problems in parents - putting their child in the 1st priority and very often forget about themselves.

Mighty, thanks for your message.

I had many inputs from other moms in the "Moms and Dads" section and it seems that I'm really loosing my time with this helper.

I'll start to look for another helper soon. Unfortunately, I have some family over next week, so I can't do anything before they leave as I'll definitively need her help.... It's really sad it's going to finish like this... Anyway....

ladyfrog, if you need my help to find a new helper. Please let me know. I will recommend you to some helper that a friend of my maid. She is very polite and doing their work perfectly. Specially she respecfully to the employer. Even they will do what ever you say, and never complaint. I don't know if you like to try the Indonesian maid, cause my maid is Indonesian. Good luck and call me 9805 6858 if you need a hand.