Posted by
mdap
20 yrs ago
I have an excellent maid, she is older, 58 and I will be her last employer. She is a brilliant cook, great at looking after the dogs and keeps the house 90% tidy. However, in the past cple of months I have noticed a trend ... she has begun talking on her mobile alot during the evening, she returns on a Sunday around midnight, she reads Hello magazine on the kitchen when I am there and she has taken to dozing off in the afternoons ..... I have mentioned this to her, but she seems to ignore it. I do not want to create a situation, but good maid or not, she has to abide by my rules .... yes or no????????
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DH101
20 yrs ago
BOYFRIEND? Don't you think? Sounds funny but who knows.
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DH101
20 yrs ago
I've read your post not only twice and It's pretty obvious.
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mdap
20 yrs ago
THEN SHE SHOULD CALL ME AND TELL ME, NOT JUST ROCK HOME AT MIDNIGHT .....
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DH101
20 yrs ago
Don't worry that much, your helper knows what she's doing. At her age she deserves a short break during afternoon. Reading Hello magazine might make her day complete and give her strength to perform 12 to 15 hrs work.
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Mdap, actually I dont quite understand your point. You want to understand why she came back at midnight and why she dozzed off in the afternoon, or you are asking opinion whether it is acceptable of her behaviour. First of all I would say coming back at midnight is definitely a big no no, though someone suggested that it was her day off day but your house is not a hotel, it is her work place. She has to respect it. Unless you told her in the past that you dont mind what time she is coming back.
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Angel
20 yrs ago
Besides,still part of her day off anyway..she can talk till midnight..
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@@
20 yrs ago
I don't really see the problem with coming in late on her day off or talking on the phone in the evening - do you give her free time? Seems she doesn't have much time to herself to do anything personal, like perhaps read a magazine, take a rest or make a call......
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mdap
20 yrs ago
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn ... such peurile replies. Only one person sees the point. I treat my miad and my driver with immense respect, hence why this sudden change in nature is worrying. Anyway, thanks for the tedious replies ....
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@@
20 yrs ago
What did you expect? Your original post implies your helper doesn't have time to make phone calls even in the evenings - you didn't say she was on the phone all day.
Have you become more demanding? Have you had more children? Has her work load been increased?
You said you don't want her coming home late on her day off. Why do you get to state what time she comes home, it's the only night she gets to go out with her friends. Can you make an arrangement where you let her go out late on a Saturday night and she could then come home early on the Sunday.
As for if she should abide by your rules I guess it depends on if they are fair rules?
Do you give her a chance to make personal calls during the day, I'm not saying she should be on the phone all day but is it reasonable to expect her to only make calls after 11pm?
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Hi mdap,
I give my DH a time to get back on her day off. She can enjoy all day with her friends & then should return at a time we set. My DH returnes between 9-10 pm.
I have a toddler & my DH is younger, so napping in the afternoon is a NO.
I dont mind my DH reading a magazine when she retires for the night, but certainly not when she is with our family. My DH can make all her calls after she retires too. She only has her phone on when she is out with my child or shopping for us.
I hope this helps in anyway. Set proper guidelines for her & tell her, she HAS to follow them.
Many will disagree with my style, but I am happy doing it. She accepted my terms during the interviews & she took the job.
My previous DH - I used to let her go Saturday night & she used to return Sunday after midnight. It got later every week. That is one of the many reasons she is my ex-DH.
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mdap
20 yrs ago
Thank you Holy Smoke, good comments.
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mdap
20 yrs ago
and .. she has ALL DAY to make calls, as I am not there for 12 hours a fay, the house is empty except for the dogs and the driver .... She has never been asked to wash any of the cars as they are cleaned externally, she has her own double maids room with broadband, gets paid 8,000 per month etc etc etc ... So all those who think I treat her harshly, youo are missing the point! SHe has an easy life, but has recently become alot lazier .........
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Why is she getting such a big salary mdap?
She has got a terrific deal from you. You could sooooooo many DH's running from all directions to work for you! No wonder the woman is spoilt!
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I take that back. She is not spoilt....just enjoying it, I guess!
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mdap
20 yrs ago
Despite the peurile comments from others, I am not heavy handed with her. The house is large and there are 7 cars ... BUT she is employed to mainly keep a clean home, walk the dogs, cook when I am home and keep the roof deck clean (It has own watering system so no need to do much). All I wanted was some feedback on how to address what I see as a worrying trend. If she wants to talk on her mobile, I have NO OBJECTION providing it is not in the kitchen where I can hear the conversation .. she can talk all she wants when I am not there!
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Ed
20 yrs ago
Calling other members names will not be tolerated. I have issued two warnings... we'll ban some people if this continues.
Lets act civil towards each other please.
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@@
20 yrs ago
mdap,
You asked if she should abide by your rules in your post. I'm just trying to work out if your rules are fair, from your original post they did not appear to be.
You did not say in your original post that she has time to make calls during the day or to take a breaks. The question was asked and you didn't respond - except to call the responses you didn't like peurile.
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mdap
20 yrs ago
sorrry, she has ALL day to make personal calls, I just asked her not to make calls when I am there, but she still does ....
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@@
20 yrs ago
I think she is wrong to simply ignore your requests, is there a reason? Can she only contact her friends and family at night? You obviously do need to address this issue with her, simply the fact she has continued to do so after you have been very clear with her.
I'm unclear with the problem about coming in late on her day off, firstly because it's her day off. Secondly you say you don't care what she does during the day as you aren't there, so if her work is completed and she takes a nap what's the problem?
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mdap
20 yrs ago
Her sleeping was really never an issue .. the coming back at almost midnight I found disturbing ... anyway, thanks for your logical feedback, appreciated
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You must tell your amah that you find it disturbing when she returns home at midnight. If you don't say it she will never know.
As for the phone calls, perhaps there are critical circumstances for her family / friends where she can only contact them at night? When you talked to her, did she give you any reasons why she is doing it? If that is just normal chit-chat, then tell her to do so when her service is not required, i.e. when you are not home.
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mdap
20 yrs ago
2004 range rover, 1976 rolls royce silver shadow mark 1, merc 350, bmw m3, Bentley Arnage (2001) and a porsche cayenne .. which is for sale if you want ...... u obv do not know Hong Kong, if you think 7 cars is alot !
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MayC
20 yrs ago
My last helper did that too. She'd come back just before midnight. I allowed that.... a few months later,she stretched it to Monday mornings. She'd be back at 8am (although when I asked her she said she'd be back before 6am). A few months after that, she came back only at 11am giving all sorts of excuses like she was sick, she had a party etc etc etc.
The thing is, when you enter someone's home whether you are a friend, a helper, a colleague or anyone at all, you should respect their ways..... just as you would expect others to respect the way you run things. So I feel that it's better to set the record straight. I have a helper who is really bossy and I posted it in this forum too.... and after all the replies I got, I also spoke to her about it. At least we both understand each other a lot better now... this will hopefully avoid what happened with my last helper. Good luck
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mdap, but honestly 7 cars are a lot. But its nothing wrong to be rich, isnt it?
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mdap
20 yrs ago
thanks Mayc. 7 cars is more a passion, the Range is my favourite at the moment ... the Bentley mostly for when my mother visits and clients, BMW hardly ever used, the roller classic car, so more a hobby, Merc 350 dull and will sell, and the Cayenne .. was interesting but not my cup of tea ...... new toys to arrive next year.
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