Posted by
karakara
19 yrs ago
When you have a newborn baby, what do you recommend for the best way for your helper to help you? I will have two months of maternity leave. So for the first two months, is it reasonable for us to switch off getting up in the night to feed the baby? What do you find is the best schedule? I want to ensure that we both get some sleep. I know that my helper is very excited about the baby but I don't want to ask too much of her. Thank you.
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@@
19 yrs ago
My husband and I always look after the children during the night, in the early days for feeds and now if either is sick.
If you need to grab a nap during the day your helper is available.
I think it's better that she gets a good night sleep, no doubt she has a busy day looking after home duties.
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You should look after your baby at night and take naps during the day which allows your helper to build up a trusting relationship with your child.
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My advice to karakara is to do whatever she thinks is reasonable and works for her schedule and household.
If your helper isn't available or willing to help with night feeds from time to time, then why exactly do you have a helper? My helper is more than willing to help at night, but we ask her to go to bed or take a rest since we can manage right now. I read these threads (helper wants cable TV, expat employer thinks helper's minimum wage is too too low, employers lending their helpers extra money or paying off loansharks, helpers didn't nothing of browsing the Internet on the employer's computer, etc) and can see why some helpers only want to work for expats.
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cd
19 yrs ago
To John 5023, the reason we have helpers is take over the mundane tasks like cleaning and ironing, leaving us with lots more time to spend with our children, plus the occassional babysitting as we don't have relatives here to call on. To Karakara, personally I find the idea that you would want your helper to give your newborn its nightfeeds hard to understand. I never even let my helper hold my baby till she was 6 weeks old. The time as a baby goes so fast, make the most of it.
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RiceT
19 yrs ago
karakara - i'd suggest that you (and dad sometimes too if available) do the night feedings with your baby. it's good for baby to have consistency and his/her parents caring for him/her. plus the baby will already know your sound and scent from being in the womb, so it's very comforting to have you there. it's fantastic bonding for you. i love it. i'm tired, but i love it. our helper gets sleep and helps out with the baby during the day where needed. i like to give the baby to my helper for little pockets of time during the day so that the babe can have some variety and new energy and i can take a shower or eat, etc. :)
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ritad
19 yrs ago
i think you should take care of the baby wheneve ryou are at home..i have a two year old and a year old...i take care of them after work...my hours are good and at nite they both sleep with me...this way they are in good mental health..personally i find chilkdren who sleep with maid often sick and not getting enough milk...i am not saying your maid is not going to be exceptional..i just htink i sleep better knwoing the kids are well tucked in with me..and actually even if i want them to sleep with maid..they don't want to..they cry...that shows..how mcuh they want to be with their mother...i love that tuckign in time..and they are under my arms..of course after some time...you need to learn that you wont' be getting full sleep..but you get used to it..i have to do 2 or 3 feeds at nite still..but..hey..thye are my kids...
good luck...and pls listen to me...don't do anythign else but take care of your child..i did everything even when the maid was there..she did nothing..i end up.....blah..dont wnatto get there...
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