Posted by
YS2005
19 yrs ago
I have a 18 month baby and I am now pregnant (5 months) and I have agreed to allowed my DH to go back to philiphines during Chinese New year holidays (3 weeks on paid leave). She has been with us for 5 months and she went home before she started working for us.
My DH has a 3 year old son and she told me earlier that she does not want a second baby now. But today she told me that if she got pregnant, what do I think? Suddenly I get very worried! I cannot imagine how she could manage her works with 2 baby with herself pregnant.
Any advice is very much appreciated. Thank you.
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Thank you Nora C and TC for your useful information and speedy reply. We had short talk with our DH today when she kept saying she was "busy with many works" and I got more worried now. When my baby arrives in May, I doubt she can handle both (new born & 2 yr old). she also told us a lot of HK law that protect DH and she may lodge complain if she felt we have over-worked her.
I have been very flexible with her timing to do her works and if she cannot finish her work today she can always continue tomorrow. I simply don't understand why she behave this way.
I hope someone could share similar experiences with me as we are new to HK and does not know much about DH. Thank you.
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Do you feel that you are overworking her? As brutal as this sounds, if you think you have been fair to her up to now, then I would seriously consider finding a new helper ASAP. No doubt it is a lot of work to help raise two kids, but you need someone who has a better attitude.
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Thank you john5023 & quidam.
seriously, we think we have been very flexible and fair in terms of her work. Anyway, we will still give her one more chance and talk to her again.
Let's say worst case scenario, she got pregnant, do we need to pay for all her cost relating to pregnancy? I read the law that says we have to pay for all her medical expenses. I could be wrong.
list of expenses:
- monthly check up
- delivery cost in the HK government hospital? I think it is about HK$20,000+.
- 10 weeks paid maternity leave
- a temporary helper to do her work during the 10 weeks
- post natal check up
- cost of bring new born home(philiphines), e.g. air ticket, may be extra leave required?
Any comment is very much appreciated. Thanks.
Thank you.
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My understanding of helper insurance policies (the ones I saw at least) is that they don't cover pregnancies. They will protect you if your helper breaks dishes or steals from you though. Anyway, I thought anyone with a valid HKID could use the public health system and pay a minimal amount (a few hundred dollars) for services.
Frankly, to even discuss/imagine this worst-case scenario is crazy in my opinion. Your questions are even beyond worst case. Being a helper (and a parent for that matter) is a physically demanding job. You hire a helper to make your life easier, not more complicated. If you cannot afford to provide the maternity benefits as stipulated in the law, then you need to protect yourself now. Sounds like your helper understands the law (at least the concepts that are in her favor).
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cd
19 yrs ago
The birth in a public hospital would be a few hundred dollars, $20k plus is for a private patient.
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May be she didn't want to have 2nd baby. What about her husband? If I were u. I will take her to the gynae and get a minipill jab! This will prevent her from getting pregnant for at least 3 months. Problem solve. Don't need to worry until the next trip.
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Thank you everyone for the information.
We have insurance policy for her but it excludes pregnancy. I think we will bring her to get a minipill jab. Is this jab effective?
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Ask your gynae about the minipill jab. My told me it is effective. Can't afford to have her pregnant when u needed her. Talk to her if she is sincere she will agree with it. You want to be absolute sure that she will not get pregnant because you don't want to end up looking after her & her baby instead.
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cd
19 yrs ago
As much as it would be terrible for you if your helper got pregnant, you have no right to even bring up the topic of contraception with her. What she does with her sex life is her business.
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Who says she cannot have sex! It is not talking about DH sex's life. It's about her being pregnant! How does an pregnant woman look after a new born baby & a 2 year old child? Other than that she has to do household chores, doing grocery shopping, cleaning car and etc etc. A normal pregnant cannot do all these. So, where u go find help during her maternity leave??? Employ another maid???
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admux
19 yrs ago
or.... do as i did.... i had a male DH for years.... had no problems with him... and no worries about him getting pregnant
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Find someone to replace her NOW if you are so worried about the possibility that she "may" get pregnant. You can dismiss her with 1 month wages in lieu. Easy.
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2006
19 yrs ago
YS500, is your response above for real, or is it a wind-up? I can't believe anyone is seriously considering neutering their employees - whether temporarily or permanently. Whatever will people do next?
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cd
19 yrs ago
To Mrs Jaye, I found your thread amazing, pregnancy is not an illness. Millions of women worldwide manage to be pregnant and still clean, cook and go shopping, whilst looking after a toddler, get real.
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july8
19 yrs ago
I think you should speak with her honestly reguarding your worries and your future needs she is a mother too and she already have a child so she knows what it means being pregnant..
See her reaction and good luck!
But honestly you can't oblige someone not to have a child she is not your slave she is a person just like you.
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