Posted by
ritad
19 yrs ago
i think you shoudl just say it..don't be afraid to be rude..at least yours can cook...mine can't even cook..anythign..i do everything..hence she will be fired soon....
but....i mean..she should nknow..i think you should just buy something else for her yourself...and say you can cook this....to eat..cause the food is very expensicve....
that's it
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Ritad you gonna fired you helper just because of food?I think thats ridiculous and you dont need to rude when you say something to your helper sure she will understand.
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Miming -
I have to disagree. My previous helper did many things to cause me heartache. One of them was to insist on eating foods that I had specifically said were off-limits even to other family member. Specifically, I was eating one yogurt every morning as I was following quite a strict diet. If we buy one for each family member and the helper each day, that costs $1200 HKD per month. It became such a problem that I decided to discontinue eating this as she would not listen. She also bought many things on the weekly grocery list that were specifically for her - as well as eating our food. When I would ask her kindly not to, I was sworn at in Tagolog and suffered vengeance from her for the next week.
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So sorry to hear that, my helper carefuly listen to my instruction.I simply tell her what I like and dont like then she follow.I dont need to be rude in giving my instruction as she is smart enough to understand.
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You raise a good question...and by the way, I'm glad you seem to have found a good helper! I really don't think it's going to be a problem, even if you do buy her a small steak or whatever expensive item you and your husband are eating from time to time. This may work out economically the same as buying her treats of her own. We have basically allowed our helper free reign in the kitchen and if we have filet mignon, then she has a small portion also. I really don't think it has cost us much at all-less than weekly rations of junk food, and more healthful. She has not taken advantage of the situation, and she is small, however if she had an enormous appetite, that could be another story!
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Mrs Miggins... well, I'm thinking you'll be mean when you set boundaries to your helper as long as you can afford it why not... for sure your helper will be proud of you. I spend $499.00 for dinner for my helper the least is $150.00... she's doing her job well especially with my kids.
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I think if talking about food with the helper, its too hard to set boundaries, not unless she is not eating together with you. If you got problem with it you better give her food allowance and just buy her rice.
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I find it unbelievable that people do not offer the same food to their domestic helpers. If you cannot afford it you shouldn't eat expensive stuff yourself. Would you serve your guests instant noodles and have steak yourself. Your DH even has to cook the food for you!
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Yogini, sometimes even if you treat your DH as a friend....there are still limitations you have to regard. I can say our DH eats with us, but there were times when she don't like our food, especially when we eat Japanese sashimi and some sushi, so I just gave her money to go eat outside.When I asked her, she said she likes her own food more.
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I feel if my helper looks after my child well she also deserves to be treated well. In the beginning our helper also didn't eat what we had - not only because she didn't know the food but also because she probably was shy and didn't dare to say yes when I offered her. Now she eats everything and is very happy. I just couldn't enjoy my meal if I wouldn't at least offer her the same choice as we have. This is how I feel about it.
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we are a chinese family and my elder sister has a helper from indonesia to care for my nephew.
she always eats with the family, or in big family gatherings, or on big holiday meals when we eat outside in fancy restaurants (that's on Sundays too if she has no plan on her own). since she is from muslin family, we started by telling her which dishes had pork in it so that she would know (it's difficult to tell sometimes in chinese dishes). after a while, we stopped ordering or making dishes with pork, it's just came sort of automatic to us. sometimes we had to yell at her to come to the dinner table (as she was always busy washing dishes before the meal is over) as we never wanted to start the meal before her.
first time i met her, in a holiday meal, my sister told me she would have no pocket money for the first 7 mths as she had to pay for the agency. i started hiring her (yes illegally) to come to my place every week (i'm a neat freak by the way and never needed cleaning) and just wiped around for 3 hours and to give her $200. And yes, i gave her the optopus card with money in it for travelling.
now she has more money for herself, so i stopped calling her for help, so that she can go see her friends, or just rest, on sundays.
not all chinese families treat helpers like sub-humans.
she is the only helper in our entire and extended family, but we do treat her like one of us. if we were not in HK, or Singapore, or some other countries where hiring domestic helpers is a common thing to do... i guess we wouldn't be talking about issues like this.
if she wants to eat instant noodles, fine, if she wants to eat $100 piece of steak, fine too, we all keep an eye on her to make sure she would take the lobster or abalone, or whatever on the table. it's only because where she was born and where we were born that made it such a big difference in our lives. we couldn't help everybody in the world, but i do know i am priviledged, and i try to pause as often as i can to remember that.
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Well,I treated my DH as a member of our family she eats what we had in the table or if there are food that she dont like she will tell me and I just give her money to buy her own but most of the time she eat together with us.They are our employee and we paid there service for us but it doesnt mean we cant treat them like family in fact they are the one who taking care our family,live in the same roof ,took good care of our children.For me,I always see her as our elder in the house.She is very good to my children.Whenever my children are sick I dont need to worry because she is there to take care of them.My husband and me give a high respect to her.
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TGIF!!, well said, especially your last paragraph!
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cd
19 yrs ago
My helper is a paid employee, not a friend, yes she baysits for my kids sometimes and the younger ones really like her. But I would certainly not like her eating with us, that is a family thing and she is not a member of the family. And when we go out to eat with friends then that is family and friends time, I certainly would not want a helper in tow. She goes out to eat with her friends sometimes, I don't tag along with her.
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I let my helpers to eat whatever they want in the kitchen, however, they take advantage of it. They only choose the expensive stuff to eat, and never touch any left over food! So I am the one to eat the left over! There are certain kind of food only available in some special stores which is not always available, but whenever my husband and I eat those kind of food we always make the same portion for the DH. However, the DH eat it for breakfast and afternoon tea! I really don't mind to share the food with the helper but they go beyond the limit. Furthermore, they just clean up everything and don't even leave you a piece. So when I want to have it, it's always gone! My friend told me to buy more, so I did. And the same story, they finish everything! As for tolitories, first I offer her toothpaste, soap and brand new towels etc. Then one month later, she request to have shower gel! Fine, it cost nothing! Hoever, yesterday she ask me to bring her shampoo. She didn't even ask if I can buy her shampoo, she just said "if you go to supermarket, you also buy the shampoo for me". It's really too much. I did not buy her shampoo on purpose! Not because of money, it's because she take things for granted! She also came to ask me what brand of skin care product do I use! And they secretly used my babies skin care product, so does mine!
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Meems
19 yrs ago
Our helper eats whatever we eat (home and out). She's using a lot energy and needs decent food to keep her well. My mum is always telling her to eat, and now she's on a diet.
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