Food allowance

Hi all!


We have hired our first helper but was just wondering how the food allowance works. We give her $400 a month and the minimum wage as we were going to increase it after seeing how things went. Anyway, we have a good relationship and treat her like family but i was just wondering, when we give her money to buy our own groceries, is it normal for her to buy instant coffee, bread and things like teabags and coffee mate for herself with that money? I really don't mind buying these things for her although it would be nice if she had asked first or is it just part of what we should provide? I don't want to sound like i am stingy, the poor lady is working for just over $100 a day but at the same time, i just wondered what i should be providing as i don't see her buying any food, i know she uses the rice we have at home and eats some of the food she cooks for us but i just don't know what is 'fair'. Are there things we should be providing her with that we are not now or are we doing it right? Please let me know as i just want to do right by her. Also, should we be providing a telephone for her or have a plan for her? She told me she has no credit on her phone even though i know she does but ofcourse, i understand that she doesn't want my calls to take up her credit but at the same time, i need to be able to reach her, especially when i am working part-time and she is with my children. Should i put her on a plan? If so, any suggestions as to what plans you have for your helpers?


Thank you!

Re food allowance, the law says that you can either provide her with food or give her an allowance to buy food.(The allowance used to be HK$300 per month but has been very recently raised to HK$740.) If you choose the first option, you can let her have a free run of your food or tell her what is for her (a better way unless you are happy to buy her expensive beef and salmon steaks as well). If you choose to give her at least HK$740 in food allowance, she should not be eating or taking any of the food for you/your family (even though some families do not mind if she uses basic stuff like sauces, rice, butter, etc. but it is really up to you. She has not right to expect it.).

Besides the two extreme options, you can also do anything in-between. You giving her HK$400 is something in-between which is perhaps why she is taking some of the food she cooks for you, rice, etc.

To be fair to both parties, you should just very clearly communicate what your expectations are (ie. I give you HK$400 but you can share our rice, bread, whatever but you have to buy the rest out of your allowance) and make sure she understands, agrees and abides by it.

I have had helpers who are very fair and considerate but I have also had nightmare helpers who abuses their freedom and their employers' kindness. So the best is really to lay things out and communciate clearly.

Re the phone, given that mobile plans are relatively cheap now, what I suggest (which is what I do for my helpers) is that you check what is the lowest basic plan out there (just HK$80-100 per month) and give that to her in addition to her salary and tell her clearly that you must then be able to reach her anytime she is outside the home with your kids. (I do not suggest you providing a plan for her by getting a mobile number in your name as if she chalks up huge charges and does not pay, it becomes your liability.) Given that you are likely not going to have long-drawn conversations with her on the mobile, a basic plan for say several hundred minutes of usage a month should be more than enough to cover your calls to her. When she is home with the kids, you should also call through the land line. In this way, you will know she is home too.

It sounds like your helper has just started working for you. If she is already not picking up your calls and telling you she does not have credit as an excuse, do very clearly lay things out with her and monitor her execution of your instructions. And yes, it is great to start with the min wage and raise it only upon good performance. You can also do it on a performance-related basis rather than a permanent raise to keep that incentive factor going.

Hope this helps.

Thank you so much for your replies, this helps tremendously. This is our first helper and she has been with us for eight months. She seems wonderful compared to some of the horror stories i have heard. I never knew that the food allowance was raised, maybe i will still give her $400 and let her continue to share our basics but just ask her to highlight on the bills what was for her. Thank you for the tip about billing the phone under our name, never thought of that. We do have very short calls and i use the land line when she is at home but she is often not there when i call (I look after the kids most of the time). She could be out shopping but i feel a bit uneasy asking where she was (just getting used to someone calling me 'Ma'am), i ask her to call me by my first name and she never does. I was raised in the UK so all this helper stuff is hard for me in terms of not treating her like a friend/ equal/ employee. To be honest, i have no idea what she eats, i never see her eat as i take the kids out to play every day. She may just be eating what is in our fridge, we have very simple food so i don't mind so i guess she saves her food allowance. Hmm..i am writing this and thinking maybe i should be asking a few more questions but i feel like i am interrogating her by asking her, "what do you eat?" "what did you buy?" "where were you?". Gosh, i am terrible at this!

"i ask her to call me by my first name and she never does."


There's a trick to that. Each time she calls you "ma'am", make a funny noise. Quacking or sounding like a horn works. This will remind her what she is doing. She might laugh or find it embarrassing, but it may well stop her from saying "ma'am". ;)

Agree with Cara re knowing where she is during workings hours of working days. You should not feel uncomfortable. You have the right and almost the duty to know. Else if something goes wrong (big or small), you will look irresponsible for not knowing.


I hired my first helper 14 years ago and I felt the way you did. Eg. I asked them not to call me by name, I let them have loads of freedom since I was working and travelling all the time and didn't feel the need to know or ask where they are and what they do and what they eat. And boy, did things go wrong with my first couple of helpers real fast. One had her lesbian partner living and sharing her room and I didn't even know till months later when my building security guard asked me how is my 'second' helper! Another one was pregnant. Hmm, not very fun.


When I thought about things from an employee's angle, it all made it easier. Say if I am out of the office loitering at Starbucks or the shopping mall or playing on the internet and my boss never asked me about it, hmm, pretty soon I may feel that my boss either does not care about me or is condoning my behaviour. And this will certainly not lead to a motivated responsible employee. So as a boss, we have the duty to monitor, supervise and guide.


Re calling you 'ma'am', take it as a form of respect as the helpers are asians and in asian culture, they do not address bosses/seniors/elders by name. Pretty much as it would be for all mixed culture relationships, each party should respect the other party. As much as it is uncomfortable for you to be called 'ma'am', it is uncomfortable for them to call you by name. Since you are now living in Asia and employing an asian, why not try it the asian way? You can get used to it pretty easily and be comfortable if you understand that they feel very happy and comfortable to call you 'ma'am'. It is not demeaning for them or anything. (This was explained to me by my third helper who worked with me for 8 years.)


Good luck!

Thanks again all for all your replies, i had a good chat with my helper tonight and she told me everything was fine and that she appreciates having us as her last employee treated her very badly. She told me that she didn't need any money for the phone and would have it on always but i asked her to give me an amount and she told me that $50 a month would cover everything and more but that she didn't need it but ofcourse, i will give it to her. Apparently. her last employer put her on a plan and gave her a phone but she hated having two phones so told me it was all unnecessary but would be available from now on. Thanks again, all!

Happy Mummy, some of us don't want to be called "Ma'am" or "Sir" by our helpers since we feel this is too formal. It has nothing to do with demeaning to them or not.


In our case, we are very informal with our helper. We welcome her input and are happy to chat. If she had to call us "Ma'am" and "Sir" it would get in the way of our informal atmosphere. We have never found that this gets in the way of a good working relationship. She works really hard and is a great boon to our household. Despite the informality, the jokes and the laughter, she does not forget that she is an employee.


It may be a helper's way to call the employers "Ma'am" and "Sir" but it is the employer's house and thus the employer's rules should be followed.

Our helper Lucy is fantastic I would pay her more if we could afford it,she revived one of our boy when he stopped breathing(first aid course)For that we will always be indebted,this year her husband and daughter have visited Hong Kong (at our expense)fyi no hols our self.

She is paid$4,200 plus food,I sometimes buy things like slippers,shower gel,$50 phone cards etc.We may not be rich but we eat well,8 people in the house plus 3cats and 1 dog $20,000 plus on house keeping(which is why were not rich)Some people pay more and sound really generouse,but then you find out its not from their pocket ,with us it is.

You could always buy a cheap phone just for you to call her on(other one maybe engaged)I have to say though the girls dont really use the phone a lot in the day and not much with the kids around(who can really talk properly with kids anyway)A museum pass is only $100 for the year well worth it,little treats are an incentive for any of us be it large or small.Use your judgement and ask yourself could you eat on that amount and if so what would it be.If you well you have less chance of being ill,Lucy was ill for just 1 day in 9 years.Give vit c tablets to prevent colds,smears at the clinic are cheap and we paid for eye test and cheap glasses.Nearly all of Lucys money goes to her family,her hubby works they just bought a new jeepney and opened a cafe in their house.

So I guess back home she is wealthy which makes her happy(no long face)so invest in your helper and you will reap the rewards(with the goods ones/see another post).

liza2371, do you understand that everyone is entitled to their opinions? And that even if you do not agree, you should respect it? Stop calling others names, swearing and cursing as you did here and in the other thread on FDH's min wage. "I would pray that your husband lost his job etc, etc". Gosh you make me laugh!! You are so obviously a mean, disrespectful, bitter, evil person. I pray that god is kind to you and takes away all that anger and bitterness and replace it with wisdom and joy.

Hi Happy mummy, I have sent you a private message.

liza is banned for completely unacceptable comments