Posted by
Katetam
19 yrs ago
I have a 3 year old and now a 6 month old, anyone in my position ever try to travel? And did you bring your helper?
Was it a short flight or a long flight? Might need to return to Canada to visit a relative that is not physically well....
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cd
19 yrs ago
No, and I wouldn't want to. Holidays are family times and I couldn't think of anything worse than having my helper tag along no matter how good they are. In fact I find it sad that people can't manage a week or 2 with their kids without a helper. And yes I have travelled many long haul flights on my own with up to 4 children.
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Kimmi
19 yrs ago
I think if it was my family holiday I definately would not take my helper. But If you need to travel for other reasons like you mentioned because a relative is physically ill or a death etc and you are on your own, bringing your helper could be very helpfull, especially if you have a lot of running around and sorting out to do. I know when we had to travel overseas when my father-in-law died we had to organise alot of stuff and dragging the kids around with us wasn't fun for them and more stressfull for us.
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I just went on a three week holiday to Europe without helper and a 10 months old baby. We had a good time but I am considering taking my helper along next time as it would make things so much easier.
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tmk
19 yrs ago
Yes, similar situation (3 kids aged three and under). We take our helper with us when we travel, and wouldn't consider not taking her. We normally vacation in Canada.
Doesn't matter to me what other people think with regard to bringing a helper with us, we do what we feel is best for us:)
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Cd, what do you do on the flight when your one child needs you to take him/her to the toilet, while the other one is still a baby? ( I don't want to leave him/her in the bassinet. Or, how do you manage the loads of luggage, stroller, carseat, hand luggage AND the kids ?
It's not a matter of character or ability as a mom that I am asking whether people bring their helper on vacation, I was wondering whether people travel with kids at this young age, and when they do, must they bring SOMEONE to help. It might not necessarily be a helper, last time we travelled with my parents, my sister, and my brother, it was great help. I just had to take care of the kids, while they took care of the rest.
When I had only 1, we took our daughter travelling since 3 months, without a helper. My husband and I had great times travelling with her to cruises, Las Vegas, Australia, Japan, Thailand, Singapore, Malaysia , Hainan Island.... etc.
Now that there are two.... I am just thinking how it is physically possible....
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Katetam,
You say "My husband and I..."
Perhaps people have been assuming that your husband is capable of carrying a bag or pushing a stroller.
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Saiwanho, do you have more than 1 kid under 3 years old? Or a baby? if you do, you would understand what the challenges would be just going out for a few hours with two kids that young, without help, let alone a long haul flight.
My husband takes very good care of my children and helps in every way at home and on a trip. I don't think I need the sarcasm at all. I am simply asking for some sincere information from others in similar situation.
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mrsl
19 yrs ago
Katetam
I am with you. We (yes, with husband) travelled all over the world when we had one child. I often travelled with her on my own, and although it may have been slightly tougher, it was absolutely fine. I am not so confident with two, however and have been tempted to travel with a helper. To date, I have only done short-haul trips on my own and they have been a nightmare. Taking the toddler to the toilet is a real pain (balancing baby in left hand, while lifting, supporting and cleaning toddler & hands with right) - not least because you get minimal warning from a newly trained toddler.
Things that make it slightly easier are (i) booking a driver rather than taxi to take you to the airport (they speak better English, are more patient when you are loading car seats etc), (ii) try to get a porter at the airport - usually easier on departure than arrival, and (iii) put the smaller child in a sling or backpack (ideally with a storage compartment to minimise size of ither hand luggage), wich gives you one hand to push a trolley and the other to hold your toddler's hand. That said, I am already dreading 13 hours on my own with them both this summer!
Would be very grateful to hear how those of you who travel with 4 young ones do it......
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I have travelled for the past 12 years with 4 children, mostly by myself - at one point I had a 6 month old, and the oldest was nearly six with 2 others in the middle. It is difficult but possible. You just need to pack minimalist,(if you are able to wash at your destination how many clothes do you really need??) Be organised and be prepared to ask for help.
You can usually ask check in staff for help to get to the gate if required, they can also help you get off the plane, once you are through customs on the other end you have a trolley to put your gear on - and you can ask if there is someone to help you there also - you push the pram and they push your bags - with oldest child on top.
I can't remember having too many problems in the plane besides not sleeping at all myself - the kids tend to accomodate to the circumstances.(and they like to walk around alot)
Before I had four we took our children on many trips - starting from 6 months old - hawaii was a favourite, and the USA a number of times, (from Australia) Holidays are possible with babes but you just have to work around their needs and interests - instead of going to a museum or gallery we would go to zoos and amusement parks, beaches, lots of places we wouldn't have gone if we didn't have kids. If they are babies you can do more of what you would like to do - but after about 2 then you really need to change your travel plans.
At about age 6 we had the kids pack their own bags and carry them or drag them if they have wheelie bags. We gave them a list - they packed accordingly, and carried their back packs (feeling very cool like trendy backpackers...) the younger ones wanted to do the same so now when we leave on a trip we tell them it is now time to pack - they do it and we are off - our record time was 2 hours from time of notification that we were going (on standby) to being at the check in - with the 6 of us and living one hour from the airport it was no mean feat!
We still do alot of travelling and they are all self sufficient and confident packers and travellers now in their teens.
Train them up and they will travel well when they are older.
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mrsl and Dimac4, Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and information. It's good to hear from you both. I am going to try to look into the best arrangement for us for the upcoming trip. I keep procrastinating though.
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To kkh: We went to Germany and then to Switzerland.
Of course it is possible to manage without a helper. But you have to consider that you can never go out to have a dinenr with your husband on your own and the baby will keep you busy 24 hours. When I came back I felt that I need a holiday to recover.
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I am reading this thread in complete disbelief.
We, and substantially everyone we know (outside Asia), goes on holiday with two or more kids without a helper. Indeed, helpers are virtually unknown in Western Europe - but people (yes, even the exotic subclass with young children) still go on holiday.
To give specific, constructive answers to your questions above:
"Cd, what do you do on the flight when your one child needs you to take him/her to the toilet, while the other one is still a baby? "
The answer is that you watch the baby, and your husband takes the child to the toilet.
"How do you manage the loads of luggage, stroller, carseat, hand luggage AND the kids?"
The answer is that you hold the baby and the child's hand, and your husband deals with the luggage.
I hope this helps.
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cd
19 yrs ago
My 5 kids are spread out in age, there's 13 years between the eldest and the youngest. And when we've travelled with 5 it was always with my husband as well as my 2nd eldest is wheelchair bound, so I couldn't manage the wheelchair and the 3 younger ones on my own. But the youngest 2 are only 2 years apart so I have had to travel with a toddler and a baby. The baby in a sling, the toddler in the pushchair. As to the toilets, the cabin crew are always willing to hold the baby whilst you take the other one to the toilet. A lot of the staff at the airports are willing to help if you ask them. The amount of luggage isn't that big a problem, its only a matter of getting it to check in. And it depends where you're going, if its the UK, America etc you can probably book car seats with your car hire so you wouldn't need to take them. I always had a small lightweight buggy for travelling. And like Dimac, once the kids reached 2 or so they had their own little backpacks with a change of clothes, crayons, paper, books etc.
Remember, at worst its probably about 15 hours, the reality is never as bad as the thought of the flight.
To Yogini, surely you can manage a week or 2 without having to go out to dinner without the kids. That can wait until you're back in HK with you helper around to babysit.
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mrsl
19 yrs ago
Saiwanho,
The question was about travelling WITHOUT HUSBAND/OTHER ADULT. We have all learned to divide the childcare responsibilities between us. Your husband cannot manage the luggage/children if he is in HK and you are in London/NY/wherever with the children.
Yes, you can cope. Last week I found the security staff in HK extremely helpful when I had to get my son out of and back into the backpack when I went through the Xray machine. I have not always been so lucky. Airline staff are often fantastic, but more than once I have seen them refuse to hold a child while his/her mother tried to put her handluggage in the overhead bin (on one occassion the stewardess said 'You chose to travel with your children, it is your problem. Parents seem to think that they are entitled to special treatment. If you neec help, you should have brought it.'
As I understand it, Katetam needs to go to Canada to care for an ill relative. It sounds as if her husband may be in the office in HK. I am guessing that she would ideally like some advice on how to manage the flight and where to find help to look after her 2 young children while she is caring for this unwell person (and presunably does not want the children exposed to illness/germs).
Sure, we in Europe go on holiday without help all of the time. That said, many, if not most of my friendsin London did bring a nanny with them on holiday (especially when skiing), if they had them. On the whole, they all (including the nannies) seemed to think it was a positive experience.
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tmk
19 yrs ago
Saiwanho,
In my opinion, your first paragraph would've been more accurate written this way:
... everyone we know (outside Asia), goes on holiday with two or more kids without a helper BECAUSE helpers are virtually unknown in Western Europe...
if they had helpers, many would bring them on holidays.
Shake your head in disbelief at this thread all you want, but our extended family holidays are much more enjoyable and safer because we have a helper with us. Could we go on holidays without a helper? Absolutely, but we don't because we don't have to:)
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THanks Mrsl and Tmk for the posts. Couldn't have said it better.
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cd
19 yrs ago
We can barely afford to go away once a year, plus once 'home', and then only if we have all of us in one hotel room, and stay with friends in the UK, how do you afford to take your helper as well?
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They probably get paid alot of money, and they don't have loads of kids like us cd - makes travelling a little bit cheaper! Although we have had some fabulous holidays for all under $10 - $15,000 in Malaysia, Bali, Thailand -real adventures where we get out of the tourist places and stay in culturally diverse places (cheap as chips) but I still don't think I would like to take my helper with me if I had one. Maybe it comes down to the more kids you have the less you need help on holidays??? ;-)
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mrsl
19 yrs ago
This is becoming ridiculous!
Obviously some people get paid more than others! Of course if you have 2 fewer schools fees etc. to pay, you have more disposable income for holidays! Many people choose to allocate equal resources differently (leisure v rent, expensive car v holidays). My husband and I do not spend a fortune going out for dinner/drinks/parties every night (or anything close), and try to spend as much if our leisure time and money as possible doing family things, including holidays together.
People also manage to convince themselves that because they travel without help of any sort (be it family or paid help) that they are superior parents. I sat in the Kids Club with my 2 in a hotel at Easter and watched streams of expat parents deposit their children there for the day while they played golf etc. They also seemed to be block booking time for the whole week, so I am guessing that they only saw their children at breakfast and bedtime (not much better than a working week). They had not taken the time to check the quality of the care at this place (which I can assure you was very poor - children seemed to go missing on a regular basis). Frankly, on the back of this, we decided that it would be much more sensible to bring a helper or grandparent with whom the children were familiar than to gamble with your children's safety in the hands of strangers.
We have never brought helpers on holiday, but I would certainly consider it. We have been on holiday with family (not as childminders, but because they do not live nearby and it seemed like a good way to spend some quality time with them without my husband spending their entire visit in the office). We have almost always chosen to stay in villas rather than hotels in these cases, which not only is more cost effective (the incremental cost of an extra guest being minimal), but it allows much better flexibility to feed the children at times that suit them and let them play like normal children without constantly being told to be quiet.
The comment 'Maybe it comes down to the more kids you have the less you need help on holidays??? ' may have been meant as a sarcastic question, but I have noticed that as our eldest gets older, she does become more helpful. I was one of 4 children, and my parents still say that it became easier to take us on holiday when there were more of us, because we amused outselves more easily.
I have nothing but respect for those of who who make nothing of travelling for 15 hours with upto 5 children without help (not least if you have to manage a wheelchair and a pram). Just because some of us have the finances or desire to ask for some help, is no reason to act so smug and superior. People make different choices. Katetam was asking for advice on how best to cope in less than perfect circumstances, not for her parenting skills or financial situation to be criticised.
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I am sorry you took offense - tongue in cheek does not portray well in the written word - I was just having a bit of fun (I did put a smiley at the end...) Having more kids does put a different perspective on holidaying with an 'extra' body along- even grandparents - which we have done - but we all travelled seperately and stayed in different apartments. There is just not the space or logistics of coping with one more body when you already have to take 2 taxi's everywhere, have 2 rooms in hotels and feed everybody - maybe the more kids you have the more you understand that the holiday is about family time - rather than mummy and daddy time. I have never left my kids in day care on holidays or kids clubs, and we go places where the kids are going to have a great time with us - rather than be babysat so we can go out together- can do that at other times. If you need to take your helper with you on holidays so you can have time alone with your spouse, why not leave the kids at home for a weekend ?
I don't think anyone is a superior parent - just different parents and if you have the money to blow on extra help on holidays - then go for it - I personally wouldn't want to do it that's all.
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mrsl
19 yrs ago
tmk,
How do you manage it? Do you manage to still get 'alone' time?
My major concern about travelling with a helper (when I finally find one) is that she will be in an unfamiliar environment, without her friends etc and become like an additional child. Certainly it is often an issue with family, much as it is nice to have each extra pair of eyes (especially around the pool), or to have the option to have the odd adult meal while the children are sleeping, we have found it difficult to say that we just want to spend some of our time alone with the children. Does a helper need to be looked after or is she delighted for an opportunity to explore/relax on her own?
Is it acceptable to go out for dinner as a family and leave her to get room service/eat at the house occassionally?
I presume that we would have to fly her in the same class on the plane as us?
If you (or anyone else with similar experience) have any pearls of wisdom, they would be appreciated. Thanks
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I know people who fly business or first class, and put the helper down the back with the kids...so she gets to travel alone with the kids and the parents get to relax and arrive refreshed at their destination....so mrsl don't presume anythng about flying your helper in the same class if you are up the front!
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ShazP
19 yrs ago
When I go on holiday, I have so far given my DH a return tkt home to enjoy herself or kept her in HKG. I travel easily with my child luckily, she loves flying.
When I have asked my DH's if they would like to join us on our trips, the reply so far has been ' Yes, absolutely' because they too get to see another place, and although she looks after the kid/s, people should realise that they actually may like doing so & enjoy being with the family they work for.
people here have asked for advise, wish some would not be so rude about it. I am sure one day, I will take my DH on holiday with my family. She can look after my kid, see the place/ family with us & also enjoy herself. That does not mean my DH will slave over the kid, but she sure can be of help to us!
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mrsl
19 yrs ago
Thanks, that's what I had hoped, but have not worked out the practicalities yet. We are both very hands on, but would love to have the odd spa traetment etc. Just wonder if it is worth bringing someone along for the odd hour of help, but the extra pair of eyes would be invaluable. I couldn't bear to have them sit in the back of the plane with the children (if I think it is stressful to do it myself, I cannot expect someone without a blood tie to do it).
Certainly, when we interviewed helpers and asked if they would be happy to travel with us, the answer was a resounding 'YES'. I guess it is an opportunity that they would never get otherwise, but I need to iron out the details if we are to ever make it work.
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Thank you all for the replies. Decided to postpone the trip until baby is older, and when I can travel with more help. Thanks again.
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