anymind just telling me what they pay in food allowance to DH? i heard minimum is $300? i can't imagine that will feed them properly for a month 3 meals a day?
thanks
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cd
18 yrs ago
We give our helper $500 a month. But even if you give $300, there is no reason why they can't use some of their wages to supliment this.
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mrsl
18 yrs ago
We don't give a food allowance. We just tell her to help herself to whatever is in the kitchen. If our food does not suit or she fancies something else, she just gets whatever she needs at the supermarket at our expense (or usually gives me a list as I do most of the shopping). This has never been a major issue or cost. I have not been aware of any abuse (so if there has been, it's been negligible).
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If you decide to give her a food allowance (we give our helper 300HKD/month), make sure she clearly understands that it means that she can't help herself in your fridge or storage room !!!
Many helpers expect to get the food allowance + access to your food on top of this !
It usually begins with little things such as sugar, flour, eggs and after a few months it turns into rice, pasta, fruits, canned food etc... it is quite irritating I can tell you !
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does she go out for lunch or you expect her to be at homing cooking her own food?
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I give my DH $300 per month and she's only allowed to help herself to limited items: rice, cooking oil, soy sauce, butter, salt, vinegar. (We put that list in writing for her.) Other non-food housekeeping items provided include: toilet rolls, pocket size toilet tissues and laundry powder.
We would consider it extremely inappropriate if she helped herself to any of our food. She has her separate shelf in the fridge and we never touch her stuff, in return she never takes ours.
In reality, she is frequently given stuff which we have too much of and can't finish. If I order a pizza, I can't eat a whole one, so I'll ask her if she'd like a couple of slices. She eats out with us about once a week. There's always loads of bread around, which we can't always finish before the expiry date. Same goes for fresh milk and occasionally fresh fruit.
However, the bottom line is that if she thinks she doesn't have enough food, she should supplement what we give her with stuff paid for out of her salary. Either that or she could start spending some of the bonus money we give her.
Although $300 doesn't sound a lot, my helper loves the fact she gets cash with which she can buy whatever she likes. At her previous job she ate with her employers and of course had no say in what food was served.
Lastly, I personally find that although looking after the house and kiddies is hard work, it is officially classed as 'sedentary' and it's shocking how little food I can eat if I don't want to gain weight. I guess the same goes for my helper. It's harsh but true, no matter whether you're the employer or the helper, if you're at home all day and don't want to pile on the pounds, you really can't eat that much.
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so you do have to keep an eye out on things. when you give allowance, doesn't it cause a bit of havoc in the kitchen when cooks twice for each meal? one for you and the other for herself?
and wouldn't you run out of space to have yours and hers condiments, rice, noodles etc?
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I am intrigued as to why some people believe that it is 'extremely inappropriate' to allow helpers to use their food. We have a similar practice to mrsl (helper can use our food or buy what she would prefer at our expense), she does not eat with us as dinner time is family time, just helps herself to what she needs. She seems happy, it is not costing me a fortune and nobody is going hungry. It just seems more practical than having duplicate supplies. We have a space issue in our kitchen too, so have no idea where she'd store everything otherwise.
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Have done. We gave them the option. Both helpers have opted to help themselves to our stuff (we offered an $800 allowance).
I am not saying one choice is right or wrong. This has worked for us and our helpers. I am just curious as to why our approach is 'extremely inappropriate'.
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Okay! Just to clarify ~
I don't mean that I consider Mum of 2's approach to be extremely inappropriate, of course every one has a different approach and people should in fact settle for what works best for them in their particular household. I just mean that in my household, considering that I give my DH an allowance, I would not like it if she started helping herself to the family's food. I would never take anything of hers (food or other items) so I don't expect her to take my stuff, either.
As for Primrose's comment, I definitely feel "throwing scraps to my DH" does not describe the reality of what happens in my household. What I meant (and maybe it's my fault, maybe I didn't express it very well) is that if, for example I order a pizza comprising say 6 slices and I only can finish, I would go to my DH (while the pizza is still hot and before I've helped myself) and say something like: "I've got a pizza here and I'll never be able to finish it all - would you like to share it with me? We could have half each." What's wrong with that?
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Sorry about the typo in the last paragraph of my previous post: I meant to say a pizza of 6 slices of which I can only finish 3.
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MrsA
18 yrs ago
All of the helpers (around 10) I have interviewed over the past couple of weeks have said, when I gave them the option, that they would prefer to have a separate food allowance. Out of those, only 1 had been given a separate food allowance in their current job. They all said they didn't mind until I asked them directly what they would prefer and all gave the same answer. This is the system I have with my current helper, instigated initially at her request, and it has worked well. I also occasionally offer her food we have cooked if we have too much, and she takes it if it is something she likes to eat, otherwise she disposes of it. I consider that being kind and I know she does too, and it is certainly not throwing her the scraps, which I would never dream of doing. Whichever system works best in your household is fine, but I agree that if the helper is being honest and given the choice, I'm sure she would chose a food allowence.
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mrsl
18 yrs ago
Our first helper chose not to have an allowance if we would allow her to help herself. We have just employed our second. I had the conversation with her this weekend and she decided against the allowance. Her rational was as follows:
i) she does enough budgetting of her salary to send as much money home for her children's education as possible; and
ii) she is planning on doing our cooking, it would be much simpler for her to do her food at the same time; and
iii) she recognised that Europeans tend to buy imported, organic food etc. She said that she could never justify the additional cost, but really liked the idea of eating that way.
I made it clear that she was welcome to buy any additional items that we did not have for herself on our budget. She claimed that although it is nice to have that option, when 'you grow up poor' (her words, not mine), you learn not to be picky and are grateful for anythig that is in plentiful supply.
So that was how we left it, with the option for her to revert to an allowance if she subsequently decides that it would suit her better.
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I asked my helper before she started what she would prefer, a food allowance or whatever we have. She clearly said she would eat whatever we have.
She is free to eat whatever we have and what is in the fridge. She is treated as an equal person in our household. When I go shopping I always ask if she wants/needs anything. This has never beend abused and the relationship between our helper and my family is built on trust.
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Our helper does the shopping, buys whatever she wants for herself, gets no food allowance (no choice - I prefer it this way - with an allowance there's the temptation for her just to live on rice and try and save the extra $ - I don't want my helper underfed). She gets receipts for everything which I glance at occasionally - she eats simply and cheaply. This works out fine for us.
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We do he same geiboi...it works out perfect for everyone. BTW those arguing about the value of $300 should do a forum search about that I posted a shopping list which showed a varied meal plan and abundant calorie intake for that monthly cost.
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If you have a good and honest helper, she would do the appropriate thing. She would not abuse the freedom that you give her in chosing her food and spending the family budget. You are lucky.
My brother's helper was given the freedom to eat whatever in the kitchen. Much indulgence was given to her because she took care of a new born baby. She gained over 20 pounds in the first 6 months. She shared the baby's expensive food such as bird's nest congee and always chose the best portion of the dish before serving the family the dish that she cooked. My brother did not renew the contract with her.
You are lucky if you have a helper who knows what is appropriate and what is not.
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wibb
18 yrs ago
Just hired a helper and asked her specifically which she prefers, allowance or to eat our food. She said she wanted to eat our food. Maybe this had something to do with the day we did the trial. I had a dinner party and she was extremely happy with the food I made. Anyway, I said we'd try it and see how it works. I don't think there's anything wrong with either method, just depends on how convenient it is to you.
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Roselyn. Whe have a good honest SYSTEM. We give our helper a household cash fund and a monthly household budget. We check it and all reciepts when we resupply the fund (more frequently if needed).
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cd
18 yrs ago
Our helper gets $500 a month food allowance. We've had 3 helpers in the time we've been here and they all prefer the allownace. We don't eat the same foods as them, too much meat and not enough fish etc.
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I'm sorry, but anyone feeding a baby bird's nest congee deserves all they get, in my opinion...
(I spoke to my new helper last night and she said that basically when she got a cash allowance for food she ate the cheapest stuff she could find - no attention to nutrition. I explained to her that I want her healthy and well fed, and so that's why we don't give an allowance).
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