Posted by
winter2
18 yrs ago
my helper goes out very sat night to stay out and she doesn't come back till monday morning. she told me she had a prayer service at her church, and she need to do some things in the church after 7pm, and therefore she can't make it back on sunday night. i agreed initially - but after reading the threads, i am beginning to worry what she may be up too. we live in an area where the bus service cuts off at 10PM, so for her to take the bus, she has to leave central at least 9.45pm i presumed.
she has been ok so far - but after reading all these horror stories - i am getting paranoid.
am i doing the right thing to let her stay out? ps only constructive comments.
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I think it is just ok as long as you're satisfied with how she attends to her daily responsibilities at home. Don't be too paranoid. Everyone needs to unwind once in a while.
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mrsl
18 yrs ago
If you've been happy with this arrangement to date, then you must trust her and have a god relationship with her. If you belived that every negative story on this forum applied to you, you'd never have hired a DH. Let's face it, how many of us log on to say that our helper cooked a fantastic meal or did a fantasic job of the ironing (one poor lady who did was ridiculed)? My new helper has told me sad/grim stories about what goes on in certain 'hangouts' during Sunday daytime. Fortunately, the reality is that there are as many helpers doing charity work (difficult to believe given how little time and money they have for themselves), as making extra cash in the Wanchai bars etc. Most are just responsible adults having a laugh with their sisters/cousins/friends under the HSBC building etc.
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Did you ask her if she doesn't come home that 2 nights, where does she sleep ? Does she have a place to sleep safely?
Personally speaking, I would be uncomfortable with it too. What can you be possibly doing that would require you to stay out more than 24 hours out of my household? I think she can go out on Sunday Morning, but come home LATE monday morning (1:00am-3:00am) if acceptable to you.
You can tell her how about this ? You provide taxi money for her to get home from the nearest MTR station. That should be able to get her home right even after the bus service stops.
However, I suspect the bus service is not the reason she is giving you why she needs to go out on Sat night, all the way to Monday morning.
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If you are otherwise happy with your helper, and this isn't really inconveniencing you , then I reckon you should do nothing. Horror stories here shouldn't affect you. To replace a perfectly good maid because of something that might possibly happen in the future is not the best idea. You could end up with one of the 'horror story' maids.
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Miss P, that is what they responses were; basically saying calm down, you have a good relationship with your helper, don't worry about it. Then the 'all employers mistreat their helpers' brigade jumped on board.
Incidentally, has it crossed your mind that some people may actually be concerned about their DHs. It is not that they are 'shocked' that their helpers have sex lives, but want to be sure they are not in danger. Some of us actually have grown up conversations with our helpers about our lives and theirs, it is not all finding out info by sneaking around in their rooms.
Rude comments about your perception of everyone else's lives are hardly constructive. This forum is becomming a joke. Only posters with the thickest skin and the best spell checks are likely to request advice.
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just a thot:
should employers have a say on their dh personal relationships with the opposite sex??
i know a girl whose boss FORBID her to have a bf here... and she is about 30+++ years old.. with a bf here in hk
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