Posted by
micchira
18 yrs ago
Just want to know what others think/will do in our situation....
Our helper has been working with us for 3 years. We always take her with us when we go on long holidays (twice a year) as we have 3 small children.
Now again, we're going away for summer holiday taking her along. But this time while we're in Europe, we'll send her to see her sister in another country (also in Europe) for about 1 week. We pay for all her plane tickets.
Now, my question is: are we being too nice to her?
Not that I don't want to... she's been a great helper so far.
It's just that whenever I tell my friends/other people about our plan (re. her trip), they think we're being to nice to her and that we're spoiling her. According to them: she already gets to see the world "free" while working with us and now she even gets a "free" holiday. So now I'm starting to doubt if we make the right decision to send her to see her sister.
And it gets me thinking:
Would it be ok and legal if I consider those days as her day-offs that'll be "paid back" on other days when we're back in HK. Sometimes we do need her to stay on Sundays or PHs (as my husband travels a lot). Usually we'll exchange that Sunday with another day during the week.
Any comments/suggestions on this?
Thanks!
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I think you don't need consensus to decide what you want to do in kindness. Be as kind as you want.
The law requires you to give one rest day in 7.
And while you can "pay back" public holidays in advance I believe in law it is only 1 month in advance.
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TC
18 yrs ago
Yes, you are going the proverbial extra mile in your kindness - but that's up to you, and nothing to do with any of your friends or others that you meet. However, I'd expect something in return - such as loyalty and certain behaviour patters. Sounds like that's happening, but you should feel free to 'withdraw' some of your kindnesses if there are changes (either in her attitude or in your circumstances). What you are doing sounds very noble - as long as the motives are right.
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Other than the side trip that you are giving to your helper, I hardly consider your actions to be overly generous. Your helper has to manage three SMALL kids. She IS working while you are on your holidays and on the long-haul flight to/from Europe. It is not like she is sitting on the beach reading the latest trashy novel. And, she is away from all her friends on her day off, without any choice of the matter. Unless you really treat her like one of the family, then it probably is worse for her to have to travel with you. Your friends are delusional if they think your helper is getting a "free" holiday. Correct me if I am wrong though, if your helper is actually sipping a margarita somewhere on the Riviera.
With regard to applying her trip towards her days off, I think that is fine, as long as it is her choice.
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zalca
18 yrs ago
i think you know in your heart that travelling and working with a family of three children is not a holiday. she may enjoy seeing the world but it is definately not her holiday. it you feel that you want to, by all means send her away for a week. that's a nice thing to do and i'm sure she will appreciate it.
as green says, if you want to class that week as holiday then put it in writing. then everyone is clear and no one has any cause for complaint later.
have a great trip!
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zalca
18 yrs ago
when i employed my helpers, i asked them if they were willing to join me and my family on our trips overseas. that way, it's clear and no one can complain later that they weren't aware of this expectation :)
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cd
18 yrs ago
It is a break in that their work will consist of playing with the kids on the beach or the pool, eating in a nice hotel etc as opposed to cooking, cleaning and ironing.
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so, cd, you think every long holiday involves a nice hotel and no cooking, cleaning or ironing?
I am more inclined to think that it involves hand washing junior's diaper in the bathroom sink than building sandcastles on the beach.
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i agreed at zalca opinion.she is not seeing the world FREE.she's with you too looked after your
3 kids.if you are not happy to bring her with you
then let her stayed in your home.
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zalca
18 yrs ago
i think you just have to make it clear to your helper that she's not having a holiday with you- it's business as usual- she's working. her holiday will come later :)
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Do you give your helper Sundays off while you're on your holidays? If not, then wouldn't the week off to see her sister be compensation days for those Sundays?
When I took my helper to Canada for a month, I paid her overtime for every Sunday, because she would have nowhere to go by herself. We rented a service apartment, and she got her own room. About the phone call part, we bought her a phone card upon arrival, so she can call home at a reasonable rate. I think it is the little things that we do for them that makes them willing to do the extras for us when we need their help.
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How much holiday is a helper entitled to each year..? My new helper will be starting in Sept and is already informing me that she would like to take her holidays in Dec or Chinese New Year and wants to go back for more then 2 weeks, which I know isn't standard and we cannot do, as we both work and have dogs to take care of etc. As far as I know they only get one week for each year they work - is this correct?
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7 days at the end of the first year, and then it goes up a little bit each year to a max of 14 (I think). Definitely if she starts work in Sept she does not get 2 weeks at Dec/CNY. Have you signed the contract yet? You need to sort this out right now if you don't want trouble later...
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Haven't sighned the contract yet, but will def get it sorted out. I was quite surprised when she told me, that she wanted so much time off and so soon!
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Before you sign the contract print out a list of all the statutory holidays for 2006-2007 and then also write down her holiday entitlement (so, in Sept 2007 she in entitled to 7 days - also put that the holiday should be taken at a mutually agreed time). Give her the list - get her to sign, if you like, but this way you will avoid trouble later.
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micchira, just want to share with you the experience my mother had with her helper. my mother takes her wherever she goes, even when she was invited for dinner she would bring the helper along and the helper would sit beside her and eat what she eats. it has become such a habit that once for some reason she couldn't bring her along to singapore with her, god, what a tantrum she threw! she went on food strike, refused to do the housework and refused to talk to anyone just because my mother couldn't bring her with her to singapore. so, it's good that you are treating your helper so well, but have you ever not bring her with you to anywhere?
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zalca
18 yrs ago
i have a very professional working relationship with my helper. i don't kill her with praise but if she does well i give her a nod. if she screws up i talk to her. if i need her on holiday i take her and i expect her to work. if i don't i leave her at home and give her a list of duties to complete. we have a lovely relationship. she has never sulked with me.
i think we make our own problems. these girls are employees not our little sisters. if you treat them like this the boundaries get blurred and you cannot complain when they strop like a little sister would.
it's hard figuring out a good working relationship but be fair and consistant and that usually is a good start. just my opinion...
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Hi all,
Thank you for all the replies.
We went ahead with our plan - came to Europe for summer, bringing her along and eventually sending her to see her sister.
Here's what happened:
(....and I still want to know what you think :P)
Now that I've counted carefully, my helper has 12 days off spent with her sister. Before she left, we talked, and she agreed that I considered those days as her days off (without including sundays) that'll be "paid back" when needed.
Now.... she's supposed to come back yesterday night. She called me yesterday afternoon, to tell me that she'd missed the flight!!!
I don't believe this!
Her flight was not until 1PM!!!!
I was very upset about this! Because we made everything soooo easy for her - i.e. check the time schedule for the connecting train (and purchasing round trip tickets for her) after the flight + someone to pick her up when she arrives as we won't be at home.
What should I do about this situation?
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