we just hired our helper about a month ago and she is great. she's a great cook, she keeps the house neat, she's honest and she adores our son. we are very happy with her. one thing that bother us though is that she has a big BO problem ( body odor) which she isn't aware of. it can be really bad on a hot and humid day. any idea on how we can approach this problem without causing any emberassment to her? we have hinted on many occasions on a hot afternoon to her to take a shower, but she said no as she wants to continue cleaning the house. it's just too suspicious and emberassing for her if we insist that she take shower twice a day. it's a sensitive issue here, how do we tell her about this without causing any emberassment?
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Difficult.. If she hasn't taken the hint about showering, then I'm afraid I don't think she'd pick up on the motive behind giving her a gift of soaps, deoderant, perfume etc.(and she might choose to save them to give away/sell, anyway).
I don't suppose you know someone else who may be okay/accustomed to having to do this kind of thing to talk to her? Like a firm but tactful friend, or maybe your helper's/your GP at a check-up?
I'm trying to think what I'd do if I were you and needed to say it to her. I don't think I could. Pathetically, I'd probably end up organising a bogus "Health & Hygiene = Happiness" session, like a Tupperware/Ann Summers party (!!!), at home, making sure she's invited and fully involved. I'd rope in some some sympathetic amateur dramatics- inclined mates (and their puzzled helpers) and sit around handing out samples of lotions and potions, while a convincing friend takes on the role of organiser and gives a talk about how important it is to be clean and smell fresh all day. If the helper really wasn't aware of her problem, then she shouldn't suspect it was a set-up and wouldn't be embarrassed but might get some ideas. And from then on in, I'd introduce a fifteen-minute afternoon shower break to the house rules - blaming the speaker because that was one of the bits of advice given at the party.
Elaborate and daft, I know, but then I did say I'm a coward! I'm sure others will come up with much easier and better ways to resolve it!
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zalca
18 yrs ago
how about you talk about a mythical helper that you used to have that didn't use deodorant/ didn't wash enough. just say that you know that hot water is expensive but you would like to encourage her to take two showers a day. tell her it's a perk.
act like you're doing her a favour.
failing this i think you will have to be a little more direct. (i'm cringing thinking about it...!)
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zalca
18 yrs ago
oh come on guys, i think that's too harsh! try indirect way first! telling outright could be last resort maybe hahaha
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ha ha, billy. i laughed reading your response. thanks for the offer, i will try the soft approach of giving her some hygiene products as a gift and continue to hint her to take bath twice a day. if all else failed, you shall be in my plan B! toto, she is indonesian. the other day she was cuddling my son and my husband cringes when he see that, he wouldn't want to be in my son's shoe. thank you all for your suggestions. wish me luck!
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we once had a helper who had the same problem. and i just bought her some Deo spray and said to her ' here use this after yr shower as it tends to get v hot and sticky in hkg cos of humidity, u wont sweat too much while u work.' seemed to do the trick. she was v grateful, almost like i gv her some fancy perfume and used it ever since and didnt seem offended as such. i think the problem is ignorance. alot of the time they dont know they smell. it seemed tactful and at the same time didnt embarrass her. worked for me!! cause when it finished she gv me some money and said 'mam can u buy me one more of those sprays!'
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zalca
18 yrs ago
i agree- that's offensive. no need for that crap/
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I wouldn't be able to say anything directly, so what I would do is go and buy some deodorants and bring them home, saying that your friend works for the company and gave you them as free samples. Then say that you can't use them all and could she use them (mentioning of course that they are really good for HK summer weather)?
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Ed
18 yrs ago
Racism = ban and deletion...
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Ed: please do something about totoybibo's post
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bw
18 yrs ago
I had the same problem with my helper, she just isn't used to using deos/powders anything. I had to introduce them to her. So I gave them to her and spoke to her politely that she should use these and why (it's hot and humid and we don't realize it ourselves so make it a habit). I even had to show her how to use the products. She didn't take offense and seemed greatful for the gifts.
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You may also want to buy her an Indonesian brand deo, so she's familiar with it...In Causeway Bay, along that corner of Sugar street are several shops selling Indo products
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thanks everyone for your suggestions. i bought her 3 new tops, a deodorant, talcum powder, and some toiletteries and gave it to her as a present for all her hard work in the house. and i told her i hope to see her using it. it worked so far, she smell heavenly every morning. lets hope she keep it up. thanks again.
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