Posted by
shamzyy
18 yrs ago
My DH has been with us for almost 1 year, but last night, I found that she had sneaked a man into her room and she later admitted that he has already spent quite a few nights in her room without us finding out. This is with us being at home all through, but she used to back door to get him in and out and the fact that she knew we would never enter her room one she retired for the evening. It was absolutely by some stroke of luck (bad luck for her) that I went to her room late last evening as I could not find something and wanted to know if she had seen it. I have two young children at home and I feel she has put all of us at risk by giving a man access to our house. Are these grounds to fire her? She apologised profusely, but can I trust her after this? She has a 1 year old baby and a husband of of 1 year at home, who she always spoke of with much love and so we never suspected she had a boyfriend...apparently this has been going on since a little after she joined us and she claims she has had him sleepover about 5 times only. But the point is she had the cheek to do while were all present at home, because she was sure we trusted her and would never suspect anything. Help, I am confused...fire or give a warning another chance?
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definitely fire her! if i had 2 kids in the house and this happenned she wud hv been out the door the minute i caught her~! this may sound harsh and rude to many ppl out here but to me this is my house! NOT A BROTHEL!
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Where does it say in shamzy's post that this man was paying the helper to have sex with him? And wouldn't brothels have more than one customer?
Your helper has clearly abused your trust, but whether you should fire her or not, only you and your family can decide how comfortable you feel with her still in your household.
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i would agree with hyper to fire her immediately. as harsh as it may sound, the safety of my children and my family comes first. she brought it upon herself to be fired because she misused your trust. that's just my personal opinion. like what deskbound said, the ultimate decision is still in your hands.
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Wasn't there another thread about this same exact thing happening a few weeks ago and also a few months ago?
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zalca
18 yrs ago
i don't really think she meant it was not a 'brothel'. i think she just meant that she didn't want strange men in HER HOUSE in the night. i have a feeling that she just chose the wrong word.
actually that's a fair comment and i would definately fire my helper for that.
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Thanks for all these replies. I am still confused because we are here for only another 3-4 months and so I can't really hire anyone else, which means I will be left to manage everything myself. Although I have managed for 6 months without a maid in the recent past, I have to admit it wasn't pleasant. Since she has begged forgiveness, I am wondering whether it is worth giving another chance? The other issue is that she has lost my trust completely, which means everytime I am out of the house, I will be worrying if anything is going on or if at night we go out and she is aking care of the kids and this guy comes again...will she succumb to it again? Gosh, I am soconfused, but for my own selfish reasons, that I will be without help till we leave, I would not hesitate to fire her as this is really taking things too far. Thanks all of you as all the replies give me different perspectives.
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cd
18 yrs ago
The man isn't an intruder as he has been invited into the house by someone living there.
But I do think it will be difficult for you to keep employing her as all the trust has gone.
Did you tell her at the beginning verbally or in writing that she wasn't allowed men back? Although I suppose she must have realised it would upset you as she did it sneakily.
If you do decide to keep her, I would give her a written warning at least.
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Fire her. If you can't do without a full time helper and you don't want to wait, do get a part time helper instead. Do remember that your family's safety is still your no. 1 priority.
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