Posted by
Taps
18 yrs ago
I will visit HK in a few weeks time and plan to meet with the embassy staff and show this thread.
Maybe there is something that could be done, I find its mostly happening in HK.
Likewise, DH should access this thread and write their side of the story.
beancurd, agree with you.
Are you based in HK that we could meet perhaps.
I have not heard of Southeast Asian employers plundered by their home helper in HK, I could be wrong.
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I'm not a DH but here are a few weird stories heard first- or second-hand.
DH was only give the left-overs from family meals. Found this out when invited to dinner and was told to eat up or the DH would get fat. Thought it was a joke till several months later on a visit to the home to pick something up. The maid was emaciated. Had no qualms about reporting the employer.
I mentioned in another thread about a DH who won the Mark 6 and took off home. Her boss was very, very demanding and a neatness freak who was unable to be neat by himself. He wanted his underpants, shirts, etc. ironed in a specific sequence, socks ironed and folded (no sock balls), immediate cleaning of any splashes (his) which missed the toilet bowl, immediate commencement of laundry from a trip (no matter the time), plucking his "stray" chest hair, burning of his toenail clippings... Well I could go on but you get the picture of 'weird'.
A new employer boasting of how he got an Indonesian DH very cheaply. The DH was to look after his newborn son of whom he was very proud and nothing was too good for him - except, as I pointed out to him, quality childcare.
Heard second-hand of an employer who insists on fresh towels after a single use. I guess the DH must spend her day laundering towels.
Second-hand report of a DH who become very ill and required an major operation. Her employer had her booked in to a top private hospital and paid for the very expensive operation out of his own pocket. He then gave her three months' paid recouperation time.
And there have been so many more... on both sides of the fence.
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Taps
18 yrs ago
Nice stories of FDH in Japan.
Employers who give away their Gucci bag and Ferragamo shoes. And dangling Chanel earings.
The FDH gets to wear them.
FDH brought to US every summer holiday by employer, she is allowed to visit friends and relatives and repays by not dissapearing, mentioning "I am treated very well".
Employers attending Christmas parties of FDH and vacationing in FDH's hometown.
FDH treated by ex-employer(Brit), ticket/all-expenses paid trip to London to visit them.
Employers sponsoring orphans education(not related to the FDH).
The usual answer to query.."we(FDH) are treated as equal.... human being".
Above employers belong to the comfortable strata of the society marking the cooking oil and counting showers taken by FDH are unheard of.
I can vouch, I party with their employers.
Kindness begets kindness, I know from experience, all househelpers I had in the past are still in contact with me.
One or two I encouraged to remain and find another employer when we went home.
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I LOVE that Mark 6 story Claire!!!
Know someone who told her helper that she 'did not want to set eyes on her on a Saturday'. Lucky helper? Yes, that is what the DH assumed too and took the day off. Employer goes through the roof, thinking DH had absconded, but noticed that all of her things were still in her room. DH returns and sets up breakfast on the Monday morning, as usual. Employer yells at her, demanding to know where she was. DH repeats employer's instruction. Employer says that she 'obviously' meant that she wants family time at the weekend and that helper should complete all usual duties, but just not be seen! Bear in mind this is a relatively small 3 bedroom apt., with only 1 entrance. Not sure how DH is supposed to move Houdini-like from room to room, but employer told this story acting as if her helper was the one being unreasonable.
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Taps
18 yrs ago
beancurd and jbebeb, may I ask, are you both from the Philippines.
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I'm an avid follower of this thread especially because until 7 years ago I was one of the thousands of lucky FDH who found a placement in HKG. Someone was wondering in other postings if FDH have access to computers ( well they do, plenty of internet cafés in town )and of course they are aware that Asiaxpat exists. I arrived in HKG in 1991, worked for an Expat family for almost 8years w/out any big misunderstandings on both sides until some changes happened ( employee and employer sides)Madame left, Sir found new GF, and me I was occupied w/ my own personal life. I have a great respect to my former madame, couldn't bring myself to warm up w/ the new one. I was maybe a DH but I can't pretend to like someone because I have to. At that time I was dating my bf ( husband now ) who come's from the country of "foie gras", one day the new madme saw some in the fridge and maybe she suspected I bought it from their money she asked me" since when did you learn how to eat this?", this encounter has a resemblance to jbebeb's replies that DH's are not entitled to have the same respect as professionals, clearly in social standing ( like jbebeb's society ) there's a huge difference. Now that I can be on the other side of the fence ( no I don't intend to hire one myself ) , whenever some questions arises in social gatherings about what I do, what I did I do before, I just tell them the truth w/out any shame.
About the food, some helpers are helpless, either they're not allowed to cook at their workplace because of the smell or because they're just helpers who doesn't deserve to eat proper meal.
Of course these unhappy stories only represents a small percentage of the thousands of helpers in HKG.
I still believe that if we behave accordingly wherever & whatever occasion we are in we will still get the same respect regardless what social standing we belong.
I wonder what would employers feel if they find themselves at the same social gathering w/ their former helpers!
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As I said if we behave accordingly we get the respect we deserve, I never encountered problems like yours. Its about how you present yourself, to me even if you are dressed in designer clothes head to toe but have unpleasant manners your not worth of my respect. Of course people in hotel industries are taught to treat well dressed businessmen, they have to otherwise!
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I would like to agree with jbebeb ...to a point.
There is definitely discrimination about race but this happens wherever you go and whoever you are. I am Australian Chinese. In HK, I am treated as a gweilo and I've been asked if i am a FDH. In Australia, I am treated as Asian and I get the run around the other way.
In HK, and I guess other parts of Asia, everthing is about face. Unfortunately people will look at what you do, what you wear and where you live. It doesn't make it right, but it does happen.
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I mean " staff in hotels or in general in the service industry are taught to treat well dressed businessmen well".
True the majority of DH didn't attain higher education but not by choice! I am a proud Filipino citizen, but what am not happy about is the government system. I didn't pursue my education not because I didn't want to, I was forced by the need to survive so I chose work. Unfortunately in the Philippines we have to pay for everything.
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Jbebeb - in your posts on the forum you constantly state that you, in contrast to other posters, are qualified to talk about (and generalize about) DH's opinions and situations in HK becuase you have family and friends who are DH's in HK.
Two former-DH's have posted on this thread - they have FIRST HAND experience of being a DH iu HK - and yet you continue to assert that you are the ultimate authority on DH's.
Give it a rest would you.
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jbebeb: when you say FDH( Filipina Domestic Helper )are you focusing on Filipinas or domestic helpers in all nationalities in HKG?
Come on life is too short to ponder about how the society sees these helpers!
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this time you got me, missed that one!
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Taps
18 yrs ago
coquinne, we're talking about FDH, not the
goverment sysytem.
Do another thread if you want answer.
As to your query, yes.
In Tokyo and UK..in Tokyo it was alright(many civilized expat), in UK, the eyebrow of Madame was arched so high since za Filipina married an Italian count.
At least we share the same fondness for foie gras, bon appetit.
beancurd, any other way I can reach you.
Btw, jbebed has any FDH given you a hard time in the past, bitter memories.
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hmmm how about the madame's habit of leaving her "used" undies on bed, hang it like a national flag in the bathroom & sex books in full view, do they count as weird stories?
Taps: I'm fully aware that the thread is about the FDH , just want to point out one reason why these people are forced to work as helpers especially overseas. Not looking for an answer either.
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Taps
18 yrs ago
jbebed, you can do your share by supplying FDH info about rights and related issues since you seem to be too knowledgeable about it.
They can either take it or ignore you.
Or let wife help you do it, more so if she is Filipino herself.
We do not need vitriol comments, I thought this thread is initially sharing weird stories, innit.
And no more espousing theory, at least for me, I am past that.
Otherwise I can read my books on theories in silence.
Would you be brave enough to tell us where you are from.
barbara30, atta girl, were you Norland trained.
Some of my wonderful friends employed a few of them in the past, quite expensive though.
It'll be ideal to meet beancurd and the others when I visit HK next week.
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cd
18 yrs ago
Actually I agree with all of jbebeb posts on this topic. He is not degrading FDH's, just stating facts that generally menial/unskilled workers are looked on lower in society than other professions. And that most helpers are well treated, and earn a fair wage compared to many local people. How many people do you know that can buy their own house/land/business etc outright after 4 years of earning, plus put their kids through college.
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i normally don't get into these discussions, although i read the threads with great interest. this time, i have to agree with jbebeb. he is merely stating the facts of life, whether most people like it or not. life is not fair most of the time!
like what cd said, most fdhs are treated well.
jbebeb - you are such a brave soul!
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Taps
18 yrs ago
jbebed,
since you know so much at least do something.
most of them are poorly educated as you mentioned, they need you, the clever one.
second time, where are you from.
for your info, read my thread..i employed FDH in the past, no problem with them.
give me no./numbers i can ring to get the magazines and such, i may want to get in touch with org./organizations/charities/NGO that caters to Filipinos in HK.
this thread has really piqued my interest.
winter2 saying most DH are treated well, their employers are "human" that's why.
saying such and such was able to build houses, children went to college, well, that was the reason why they become DH, what else.
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zalca
18 yrs ago
hello guys-
this thread is going round and round in circles.
here's my summary of the situation
1.there are good, average and bad employers
2.there are good, average and bad employees
3.some helpers/employers get taken advantage of
4. some don't
5.most employers/domestic helpers know their rights but sometimes they need the labour dept to clarify a few things.
6.sometimes employers complain about their helpers
7.sometimes helpers complain about their employers.
i know i'm not helping by the way hahahaha
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bw
18 yrs ago
It's amazing how different people read the same post and infer different things ! From what I've read of Jbebeb's posts I agree with most of what he says. The point that's struck me most is that most FDHs don't need the pity/sympathy/gushing emotions , they are doing an honest day's work and expect to be treated decently like any other human being. I no longer "pity" my helper, she's made sacrifices for a no. of reasons but she knows at the end of this she will go back home with some fewer problems and more peace of mind. I respect her for making an effort to adjust to a very very different lifestyle where EVERYTHING is new.
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MC
18 yrs ago
Having read most of what jbebeb wrote, have to say that I agree with his views. So many people on this form pity FDH on how little they make and how much work they have to do, they fail to understand that aveage HK people do not make a whole lot. What FDH make is quite a bit considering that they have no other expenses. HK gives them an opportunity to support their families. There is no difference between these FDH and those who immigrated to the US for example. It is what you can do and make for yourself. I toally admire those FDH who on the weekends take classes to better themselves.
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Taps
18 yrs ago
jbebed, here it is again, the reason most of them took the DH job is to be able to build house/s, so children can go to college, what else.
surely they heard both sides of the stories, some are very lucky and some go home not any better.
they did not come here or elsewhere to buy louis vuitton and chanel earings.
how about a contractor who is also an NGO, hope your employees are treated well.
City Slicker, agree with you that former DH are sometimes not the nicest employer.
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Wow beancurd your thread is a hit! I just have one question for Jbebeb: Why do you have to emphasize that much about helpers need to be equally respected as doctors, teachers etc....whereas most of them if treated humanely are just happy to do the work they do?
By the way the thread is about wierd stories about employers, do you know any?
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wow, this is one of the most interesting thread i have read although it deviates slightly from the original topic of the thread. i hope nobody attack me for saying this but i tend to agree with jbebeb to a certain extent. jbebeb is telling us the reality of things. as much as i hate to admit it, there are such things as a social ladder and a social standing in society.
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ShazP
18 yrs ago
I agree too...jbebeb is just stating facts. I dont see him being anti anyone. You do write well jbebeb & you sure are one bold & determined soul!!
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Jbebeb, I agree with you too - your views are balanced and well stated.
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Emshk
18 yrs ago
Beancurd, this is a great topic! I'm really enjoying reading the hilarious employee stories. Lets lighten the mood a bit and have some more! An FDH i recently got chatting to had had an absolute nightmare (in a funny way). Her boss was a complete obsessive and would freak out if the magazines on the coffee table weren't lined up exactly parallel to the edge of the table. At first she rushed around trying to obey his every command, but eventually she started to find little ways to get her own back. She would place a pen out of it's appropriate box randomly on his desk then deny all knowledge when he started freaking out. Or she would announce that she had "folded Sir's underwear just as he likes it" a little too loudly when he was on the phone. She gets away with it because she's lovely and his wife and kids adore her!
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