Advice - Terminate Whilst DH in Philipines?

Our DH has been with us for one year. During this year, she has borrowed money from us 3 times. We have lent this money interest free to her and have helped her work out a budget and realistic repayment schedule. The money we lent her set off all the other loans and she swore that she this was the only amounts owing.


Last week, she went home as her daughter was supposedly hospitalised with dengue fever. SInce then we have received many phone calls chasing her for monies owed by her. We then received an SMS from her asking for more money. On asking her about her loans, she admitted lying to us.


To me, it's a massive betrayal of trust. I have helped her with cooking when we had family gatherings, gave her lai see for festivals & b'day, used clothing, books, bought her gifts when we went on holidays etc. And generally in return, she has been OK.


Given this, would you give her a second chance? Would you loan more money to her?


Has anyone terminated their DH whilst the DH is in the Philipines? What was the procedure? Did you ship her things back by DHL?

seems you are really confused because in one sentence you wonder if you should fire her while in the next you wonder if you should lend her more money.


whatever you do, no more lending money...something that you should never have started in the first place


i don't see why you should feel it is a betrayal of trust that she didn't tell you about her money problems, so I don't see how it is a valid reason to terminate her.


if she stole from you, sure its reasonable to terminate her.


you can argue she lied to you I guess, and for some that is enough to terminate someone.


now, giving your home phone number to loan sharks is a different matter...that's grounds for dismissal in my book, but only if you had told her that it was not permitted.


as for texting you, that is not a cowardly move, that's just a money-saving one

i know i am being emotional about this and i think the dilema is that on one hand, i think that if i am in a position to help, i should help. however, i also feel that she has betrayed our trust.


we have known her for one year exactly. within this time, we have been very open and treated her as family. she has cried on my shoulder about her husband and her troubles.


she has borrowed more money from us in one year than any of my family & friends put together. each time she tells me the story and 'swears' that this is the truth.


now that she has been telling lies, i don't know if i can trust her in our home with our things. i also don't feel comfortable with all these different people calling chasing for money

put your family first.

Terminate contract and change locks.

Remember, you don't want loan sharks harassing her and your kids, if any, in public.If you take her back and but still don't lend her money, she will feel resentful since in your case its a small sum, and you might find things go missing.