Long distance phone bill

Hi everyone,


I had this DH since I was 6 months pregnant. I thought it would be a good idea to spend time with a new helper before the little one was born. The DH was like an angel when we first hired her. My husband and I went back to Canada for 2 months in the summer and left our dog for the DH to take care of. However, there were numerous times that we couldn't get a hold of her all day long. We called 6 days in a row and there were different reasons for her not picking up. (like the ringtone was too soft or she was in the shower)

Anyway, when we came back, we found out from the secruity guard that the DH didn't show up many days. (She was a live out)We did not confront her because I had a premature labour and I was in the hospital for 3 weeks before my daughter was born.

When I was finally home with my baby a month after giving birth (had complications after birth), my DH started to show me how things should be done and kept telling me how experience she was with baby.( I am a first time mom!) The DH kept yapping about how her previous employer let her control everything in the household and basically left the baby to her ever since the day her previous employer came home from the hospital.

my DH started to disagree with my advise and not following instruction. One day, she rolled her eyes after I asked her to pull my daughter away from my dog because my dog could scratch her by accident. Eventually, my dog DID scratch my daughter's head and she cried her lungs out. When I saw the bleeding, I was furious. My daughter was only 5 weeks old and I cried for a long time afterwards.

At the time, I had trouble healing and I was told to bed rest for another month. She knew I need help and so her attitude got worse and worse. One day, she told me she didn't like to take instruction and she wanted to do things her own way. On top of that, she said that she believed she should be the prime person to my daughter and she didn't want me to be involved with my daughter so much because once I go back to work, she will be the one who takes care of her. I felt threathen and frustrated because I need someone to help me not taking over my place.


My husband didn't want to let her go because he was worried about me and my daughter (I wasn't able to walk and sit for a long time). Eventually, I made a decision to terminate her contract on the spot.


Sorry for taking so long to give you guys the background. Anyway, this was a month and a half ago. I just got a phone call a couple days ago from a collection company saying that we have this $900 long distance phone bill. My husband and I offered her a cell phone and somehow she managed to get a long distance plan from one of those discount long distance company.


I just paid up the bill but I feel wrong to do that. Does anyone know if there is a way to tell immigration or somehow acknowledge other people about what this helper did.


maka

You have to notify Immigration Department. It is not fair if somebody else get this DH and her problems. I am sure Immi has means to deal with it. At least, when we wanted to hire our first DH who was terminated (we didn't know the difference between "terminated" and "finished" contract), an Immi officer rather openly hinted that we CAN apply for her visa, but he is VERY UNSURE whether she'd be granted a visa. He evidently knew more than we did.

Thanks for your advice, Nat 76 and beancurd. I am very uncomfortable to hire another helper and yet I am going back to work very soon.

Don't be discouraged. There are plenty of good DHs out there. Many of my neighbours had problems with their DHs and made the hard decision of hiring new ones. Most of them are happy. A good story is this neighbour who had a helper that was good to the kid but didn't do anything else (literally nothing). But the neighbour was not willing to let her go as they are afraid that the new one would not be good to the kid. They ended up hiring another one. What a difference that made. After about 2 months, they let go of the first one. It is of course a hit or miss. Ask around your friends who could recommend someone. That is how most people find their helpers. Good Luck...

One more question! Should I pay more than the minimum this time to find a more experience DH? I paid the last helper 4.3K and I thought that would show how much I appreciated her help and obviously, it didn't make any difference.

I am sorry to hear of your terrible experience. You should write a letter to immigration quoting her passport no. and HKID no. and including the debt letter. That way, no else should have to suffer like you do.

A friend of mine paid HK$6,000 to her first DH who took care of her baby. She assumed that the more you pay the more you get. It didn't work. My friend fired that DH (there were cases of misconduct) and hired a new DH giving her minimum salary. The second DH has been working for her for 6 years already! Some DHs do not value what they have. So, giving a high salary does not guarantee anything.


Give her minimum, but praise with bonuses from time to time. Don't make it a habit though. Otherwise, the DH will expect a bonus all the time and take it for granted. She has to know that if she deserves she gets it.

i agree - pay the minimum wage because the more you give to the DH and the nicer you are to them, the more they will take advantage of you

unless you received permission from the immigration department to have a live out helper, i would keep quiet about your former helper.

Yes, I agree with tsuiwah. Your helper isn't supposed to be "living out" anyways. ( I do feel for you though! ).... as much as I do feel your terrible experience.... your helper didn't really do anything that is the "immigration" 's business. If you report this to immigration, all they will probably tell you is, "ok, we will make a note of it." Whether they do or not, nobody will know, but it might open another can of worms for yourself.... about the "why was your helper living out anyways?"

I would say your helper is not in HK anymore as HK's Immigration Department don't issue extension of stays to DH's that have been terminated here in HK. Don't think that by informing the DI that it'll be of any help now that she's gone. But if they do put into file, they might refuse her employment visa once someone else has tried to hire her. The minimum pay is best. You may give her a year end bonus if for the whole year her performance is very satisfactory. Usually, westerners are very generous to their helpers. I'd say that next time you hire a helper, try hiring someone that has worked in Chinese households as they are more strict and their helpers are not spoiled. Also, hiring someone from overseas would generate gratitude from the part of the helper as you hired her out of thousands that are waiting for work in their home country versus helpers here that can have tens of interviews per weekend in differrent agencies and they can even choose which employer to work for and have a number of demands granted by generous employers. These are just some of the things that I saw while I was still working then at an employement agency. Hope that helps and Good Luck.

Thanks everyone for your advise! I really appreciate your suggestion. I was busy interviewing helpers and I have to say I am a little disappointed. There is one helper who lied to us about her age and her current salary before we offer her a job. Anyway, I will keep trying because I have to start work very soon. One last thing to let you guys know is that...while I was searching possible helpers on asiaxpat, I found my last helper's profile. Apparently, she is looking for a job. I wish there is a way to warn everyone.

I am sorry to hear about your experiences. I too have just had my world shattered by a bad DH experience and have decided to report her to the police, simply because this is obviously a pathalogical problem she has and she has not learned her lesson.

However, might I suggest you try looking in Dollarsavers. Many expats put advertisements in there for their heplers so you will have an immeidate reference instead of having to wade through all the BS.