Posted by
AaliyahM
18 yrs ago
1) How many of you set curfews for when your helpers return on Sundays? I live in NT and I understand that she needs to travel to Central every Sunday.
2) She has asked if I could pay for her travel to Central because we live in NT. I would offer anyway, just that she mentions it before me.
3)Do you treat DH like a family member or maintain an employer/employee relationship? Which do you feel works best? Where do you draw the line?
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-Why does she 'need' to travel to Central? Many DH don't go there, many stay near to where they live.
-What is her salary for? Is her salary not for her to use as she sees fit including going to wherever she decides to go to on her time off work? If she wants to save money she should not go to Central and if she wants to go then use her own money why should you pay? (OK in fairness when she took the job did you not live in NT and only recently moved there?)
-She is allowed a minimum of 24 hours (continuous period) of time off per week so a curfew is not relevant ie if she goes at 7am sundays she need not return until 7am Monday if that is what she decides to do
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bbvv
18 yrs ago
1) The only curfew I set is that she must be home at a certain time so that I know that the house is securely locked before going to bed.
2) We are not responsible for any costs such as travelling and food on her day off. Where she goes is upto her and she herself must pay for her own travelling arrangements. We live in NT too and have never contributed anything towards her own personal expenses.
3) I maintain an Employer/Employee relationship now after a few bad experiences of treating them like a family. One helper took things for granted and helped herself to our food and drinks without asking. We had set out things for her to eat and drink but she still went through our other stuff some of which were quite expensive and hard to get hold of. Normally she eats what we eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner so we are not treating her bad. I think you need to set some rules otherwise she will think of you as a pushover and starts to ask for more.
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1) - 24 hrs is 24 hrs, but as long as she isn't coming home incapacitated to work the next day. If she goes out 8pm Sat night, stays at a friend's place, comes home 8pm Sun that is alright - normal behaviour.
2) many things Dh like to do, friends, church they like is in Central - up to you if you want to help her out with transport costs. If she is good and does some work within the 24 hr period, like washing some plates or doing a load of washing, which she doesnt have to, you may wish to consider
3) varies - too familiar is bad, treating like stranger is bad.
Remember she lives in your house, not just works there.
Some degree of empathy is natural. Like your boss would give you, for example for personal essues, but not to be taken advantage of either - varies from individual to individual.
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My helper has her sunday off,every Saturday right after she finished everything she can have her own time,most of her saturday time she just stayed in her room ,she watch some movies from her country,sometimes she would asked to borrow our new movies.I let her used my monthly ticket during her off,she dont have curfew but she always came back 11:30pm ,thats is fine with me.
I treated her as a member of our family since we live on the same roof,she did everything for my family and she made sure that children are all fine.We are open to each other and we also discuss issues in a professional way.
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I've asked the same of her and she said her Central trips are because her relatives and friends all gather there on Sundays.
And her asking for help to pay for her fare is because previously she was working on the island and did not have all that travelling expenses to pay.
I did think to myself, "Isn't it easier to go for one that's not as troublesome and demanding?" But then, there's something about her that I really like. We get along. And she's been with her previous employer for a looooong, long time. She's definitely for keeps (on first impression).
What I can do is see how she performs when she works for me and if she's excellent, then the little extra I pay for her travelling may be justified.
Hmmm, regarding treatment of helper, I think rightfully said. Depends on the individual. The difficult part is where to draw a line between being too nice and being too professional. Guess I won't know until she starts and will need to adjust my attitude accordingly.
Wish me luck! And looks like, many others on this forum need luck too.
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crj
18 yrs ago
I think it is a lot about perception too.
We give our helper little bonuses when we can - x-mass, her birthday, chinse new year, etc... but she never asks for anything specific.
I would be wary that one day it is bus fare, and the next something else.
You could decide as part of her salary package you give her an octopus card with HKD100 - she can use it for transport or whatever she wants. But that way it is not you specifically paying for her sunday transport, but just a nice little 'perk' of her package.
So she gets the minimum wage, plus a 100HKD Octopus a month. I would approach it with her like this ... "we have been very happy with your work this first month, and would like to give you an octopus card 100HKD every month in addition to your salary"
This way you are meeting her needs, without meeting her specific request.
What do you think?
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crj, yes, this is what I am trying to avoid as well, that first she starts with fares and the next minute, it could be something else.
I think your suggestion is quite good. I could give her an extra HK$100 as a "perk" and will tell her that this is sufficient to cover ALL her travelling, telephone bills as well as pocket money on her day off.
But I think anymore financial favours, it'll be a straight out "no" from me. I wonder if it is usual practise to give her a set of rules from the start to let her know that we are a young family and therefore do not have funds to lend. However, if and when we do have extras and she's proven herself well, she will get bonuses... but on our terms and discretion.
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crj
18 yrs ago
I wouldn't even suggest what it can cover, but it is an Octopus card, so it automatically suggests transport without you saying it. If you say it is to cover transport, then the first month 100 is not enough you will hear of it.
We never tell our helper she will get bonuses, but she gets them sometimes. Also, when overseas guests come to stay for a week or more, they always write her a thank you note and leave a tip which is greatly appreciated.
It is all about setting the ground rules now, so you have a long term positive relationship with your helper. We start quite strict and loosen up later.
In future if you want to give another bonus, here are some ideas besides cash:
Top up on Octopus
Phone card
Direct deposit into the Philipine Gov't Social Security Account - this can be arranged via the Phil embassy here.
From what you wrote, you did your research well and hired a great helper, once these teething issues sort out it should be much easier.
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SSN
18 yrs ago
From my experience, i have learnt that if you are paying minimum wage and you are happy with your helper's performance (ie your basic priorities are being met by her, say honesty and loyalty or taking care of children, whatever it be...my personal view is that there is no "the perfect helper", and no "perfect employer"), then you may think of giving her an extra $100 as octopus card perk as cri said. But again, be open about saying that it may not be possible to entertain every request of hers as we employers don't have money growing on trees (in a nice way). But many helpers in HK island get paid around $4,000 (many expat ones). In that case, you surely should not entertain such requests.
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cd
18 yrs ago
I take it she knew where you lived when she agreed to the job, in which case she should have realised that her travelling expenses would increase. We have never paid our helpers travelling expenses, where they choose to go on their day off is down to them. If she thinks its too expensive why doesn't she alternate weekends with her family so they come and visit her.
Definately keep an employer/employee relationship.
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cd
18 yrs ago
Also we don't have a curfew, our helper normally goes out around 8 -9pm on a saturday (unless we're going out which isn't that often) and comes back around 6.30 mon morning.
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please correct me if i am wrong. i seem to remember reading from somewhere that it's illegal for your helper to spend the night elsewhere. is that true?
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Not true,helper is entitled to have 24 hrs off.Well,it depend if her employer allowed her to.
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mother_2005, I heard the same also.
Miming, are you sure this is correct?
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The DH has to live with the employer. Spending a night out does not mean that she is no longer living with the employer! Think of it this way: if a non DH decided to spend a night with her friend would it be considered that the DH & friend were cohabitating?
The DH is entitled to a minimum of 24 hours off in a single period per week, she can stay in her employers home or where ever she decides to spend it; if an employer believes the DH is not able to be alone (without the employer looking after her) for a few hours then surely the employer should ask themselves why employ her?
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