Posted by
silopanna
18 yrs ago
A few days ago I posted a thread called "First time employer question" regarding a holiday bonus for our helper. She has been with us for a little over a month and things are going well. I ended up giving her some small gifts and $1000 cash as a bonus. She seemed upset by this and after questioning her, she told me that she was expecting a full month's salary as a bonus. I was quite suprised, especially after reading the suggestions posted on here. Is this standard? She made it sound like it was. She has been working in HK for over 10 years. Does that make a difference? Thanks for any help on this.
Please support our advertisers:
TC
18 yrs ago
I don't think a full month's salary is anything like the norm for domestic helpers here in HK. Sure there's a '13th month' concept in some countries and in some industries - but certainly not to my knowledge in terms of DHs in HK. Clearly you have no contractual obligation to do anything of the sort. I think she might be trying you on, and if I were you I'd be perfectly straight with her and tell her that it's not the norm, and if she isn't happy with the $1000 given in the spirit of the season then she can give it back and you'll donate it to charity. I think her attitude might then change. But be on the lookout for further such attempts to pull a swifty.
Please support our advertisers:
crj
18 yrs ago
Our last helper (just retired) had 16 years experience (with a diplomat family) and was genuinely top-class.
She worked for us for over 3 years.
We paid her above minimum, and gave her 500 for xmass, 500 for CNY. And on her birthday we gave her something.
We just hired a new helper, also more than 10 years experience in HK. She started with us this weekend, and we are not giving her a Christmas bonus as she has been with us one day.
I think that you gave her gifts AND 1000 Cash is very generous, as she was only with you one month, and she was probably pleased to get 1000, maybe sensed your uncertainty and is trying for more - these 'games' settle down after the first few months. And employers play them too - 'oh, I wonder if I leave the dishes in the sink Saturday night if the helper will wash them Sunday morning before she leaves' - the first 2 months or so are 'adjustment' periods where each party figures out the boundaries.
IF she is still constantly asking for more more more after 2 months a more serious talk is in order - 'if you are not happy here....'
Please support our advertisers:
I personally don't know any families (except reading on this forum) that DH get 1 month salary as a Christmas bonus. Especially if the DH is pretty "new" to your family. Who knows how long she is going to stay? Why 1 month bonus?
We give also $ 500 to our DHs for birthday, Christmas, CNY. Along the year, they get little bonuses, perks like clothes (if I see something suitable and within budget), and nice food, and little gifts from our travelling, and etc.
This year, on top of the Cash, b/c our helper is with us 2nd contract, and the 2nd helper is her sister. We got them a digital camera for Christmas. They are both VERY happy..... they are still home right now helping me out... (it's Christmas Eve morning right now...)
Please support our advertisers:
zalca
18 yrs ago
basically it's all about expectations. there is always someone doing better than you. (this goes for domestics and 'employers'. we can all look outside our door and see people doing the same job as us getting more money and more perks. however most of us are happy because we have realistic expectations. if i were you i would sit down and have a chat with your helper. tell her that you will always show respect to her and be fair by her. in return she should be respectful of you. it's not in her contract to get one month's salary as a christmas bonus. tell her that anything above and beyond the contract is your choice. it will be given freely and generously but it is your choice and it's also ok to choose not to give.
be fair by her day to day and things will work out. she's probably been told all sorts of things about employers by so called 'friends'.
firm but fair seems like the way to go...
good luck@!
Please support our advertisers:
You may have hired the wrong helper if she was seriously expecting a full month's bonus for Christmas.
Hopefully, you have now re-set her expectations.
Please support our advertisers:
zalca
18 yrs ago
there are some seriously crazy amahs out there from what i'm reading here. their level of expectation is insane!
get real ladies! we love you, we need you, but don't take the p@ss please!
Please support our advertisers:
She's new. She's trying it on.
Please support our advertisers:
zalca
18 yrs ago
i don't believe any amah that had lived in hk for a while would think that this was the 'norm'. she's trying it on. nip it in the bud and speak to her. she'll be fine if you speak to her in a practical and rational way.
Please support our advertisers:
i agree with zalca. $1000 is more than generous. if you start off giving too much, then even more is expected.
it's hard, but you have to find a balance where you can be generous but not overboard
Please support our advertisers:
Agree - all helpers know what all their friends (and others) are earning. There's no way she thinks this is standard.
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail