Posted by
mdap
18 yrs ago
It is none of her business. Your personal finances are your own affair. She is employed to do a job and as such has no need to know the costs of anything, unless she has been asked to pay any of the costs. Be careful of this, as they often decide to smash expensive things when you have an argument - childish tantrums!
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But this is HK - everyone here asks how much things cost. My local colleagues cannot enter a conversation about anything without knowing what it (whatever) costs, same as they cannot enter a conversation about a person without first establishing the nationality/skin colour of the person in question. It's just the way it is here - it's not a 'helper' thing.
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well said Cara. I was just going to say the same thing. I often TELL my helpers how much I bought the groceries, and clothes... etc. So they are aware, how much are the things, they are EXTRA careful with expensive wine, (not to break it), or my expensive clothes, don't throw it in the washer.... and I tell them, I overpaid for certain items... they sometimes will tell me, in certain places, the bread is better value, or the fish is better in this place, or the dusting paper should be $xx at this place... so we educate each other.
I NEVER thought my helper was finding out HOW much things were with any negative intention.
I sometimes buy things on sale, like 50% off, and they will tell me they have to go this weekend then, to shop, and mail the stuff home...etc.
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Yes, in the Chinese culture it is. Just give her a vague answer each time (a lot/not a lot/not too much)and she'll soon get the message.
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For me I never worry for that reason, but I am conscious of earning a relatively large amount compared to what I pay my helper (I also have much bigger financial committments, but I don't know how it looks to her) - so I would feel bad if she wanted me to tell her what I pay for things. But she never asks.
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Woody, please understand that everyone has its own different culture not only based on nationality nor race.
Try to put it this way maybe shes asking those question because she want to buy to things as well and shes curious if she can afford it or not...
why not ask your made directly why shes asking those kind of question everyday.
To answer your Question "Is this not considered a rude question in the Philippines"
My answer to this, it is considered rude question in Philippines... We filipino in general knows the meaning of the word "PRIVACY"
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I appreciate that Filipinos may know the meaning of the word privacy but I found that - generally - the many Filipinos I met when I lived in several provinces there asked lots of questions and it wasn't a problem to me once I knew to expect them. Everyone always seemed genuinely interested, and I often encountered questions such as, "Where are you going?" and "Where did you buy that? How much did that cost?" and "How many children do you have? None! Why not?" I soon realised that it wasn't a lack of respect for privacy, but just pure friendliness, even if sometimes they were quite personal.
These days I often chat with next door's helper and in conversations she asks me things that I probably wouldn't feel comfortable asking people I don't know all that well. But it's of no consequence to her what my answer will be and I know she's not doing it for any personal gain and probably believes she is being polite by asking me so much. I actually find it quite endearing in a social setting.
However, I think it calls for some degree of sensitivity - posers of an unwelcome question should pick up from the response that maybe they should back off a little. Also, I agree with what geiboyi says above.
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it is definately in the chinese culture to know 'how much' everything costs, and i suppose to some degree its in all of us...come on...dont u remember that time when u saw the big ring on your friend's finger and u were dying to know 'how much' it fetched her. i suppose the 'question' could get tiring after a while though.....
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2006
18 yrs ago
Whenever I came home from school in rural Scotland, visibly soaked to the skin, my grandmother would ask me: "Did you get wet?" In the same way, when colleagues see me in a sandwich shop at 1pm, they will often ask: "Are you getting your lunch?" It's possible your helper is one of those people (by no means uncommon in the rural Philippines or in rural Scotland) who are simply not comfortable with silence. "How much was it?" is perhaps just a variant of "Did you get wet?"
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