Posted by
moshimoshi
18 yrs ago
Our new DH is working out fine. However, her husband is demanding more money. Since she's still paying the agency fee, she does not have much more to give.
He's threatening to come to HK and kill her.... Although we're fine with the helper, our priority is to protect our family (especially, we have young children.)What should we do? HELP!!HELP!!
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They have children. Hers not his. I don't know what's the arguments between them....He has job as far as I know, so he has the capability to come to HK as a tourist to carry out his threats... That's the headache we have.
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crj
18 yrs ago
Simplewife's suggestion is good.
I have to admit I try very very hard NOT to be involved or even told of my DH's personal problems. You can do what you can via immigration, or reporting a serious threat to the Phil consulate too, but I would not pay any money, etc...
Sorry if I sound cold.
good luck.
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Probably he has spent the money on other women or alcohol or some quick rich scheme which inevitably results in bigger debt.
I agree with Saikunga. The next thing is the helper will ask for a loan of some sort.
As for JWM's post. Why outstanding bills? He was too lazy to work and help the family's financial siutation and probably used the money himself. This situation happened with my helper. (though i'm sure she exaggerated her story t get some money and sympathy from us). Her husband did no work and contacted her only for money and when there was none left to give, as we refused to lend any more, he left her and left her two kids along with several bills which she had sent money home to settle. Instead he had taken off with the money for himself.
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Taps
18 yrs ago
Ask her if she can find an NPO/NGO that address problems of DH, I think HK has quite a number of them.
Otherwise try to get in touch with a Welfare Officer(Labour Section of the Philippine Embassy) who will listen to her predicament and work out a solution especially if she went through the hiring procedure.
If the children stays with the husband, there might be more problem, h can use them as his bargaining tool.
Quite a good idea to inform the Immigration, but might it nor jeopardise her working visa, just curious.
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JWM, actually, my helper talked to me and told me of her problems. Whilst I suspect some part of is exaggerated, there must be some truth in it. Also, she found out from her family & friends that he did this.
Are you a DH by any chance? You seem to always take the side of the DH and make out the employer is the bad person.
After my personal experiences with DH and reading posts by others on this website, many DH take advantage of their employers. Not all, but many. For the record, our family have always, paid above award wages, bonuses, been generous with food, holidays, b'day & xmas gifts before you. Out of the 5 Filipino DH we had, 4 have taken advantage of us in one way or another and yet we give each one of them more than a chance.
In order to answer "what to do": then don't lend money and tell the DH to not be scared because the husand won't have enough money to come to HK.
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My instinct is to stay away from WHY he did it. We'd rather concentrate on how to protect our family than to solve this guy's behavior problem. There's many sides to a story.
If I report this to the immigation dept, will they terminate my helper's working visa?
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Moshimoshi,
Unfortunately, other than the immigration department avenue or terminating the DH, there's really not a lot you can do.
We have a saftey issue at the moment because of our DH and I can't do much either, other than normal safety things such as checking who is at the door before opening etc. We have also unplugged the main telephone line, tried to limit the amount of going to the market/supermarket etc
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2006
18 yrs ago
Heavens, one unsubstantiated allegation (from an individual who might have all sorts of motives) and you have all found the man guilty. You would even seek to ban him from traveling.
Might the maid's story not be a fabrication, designed to elicit more money from her employer?
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I'd be very surprised if immigration etc would prevent someone from travelling on the say so of another person. I would think proof would need to be provided that the said person was a threat or that some crime had been committed etc.
People always say things they donāt mean in anger to lash out, Iād be amazed if this womenās husband had any intentions of coming to HK to find her.
If you live in an apartment block or similar with security perhaps a picture at the desk would prevent him being allowed access to the building if you canāt obtain a picture perhaps if you explained the situation to them they will be extra vigilant with strangers.
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