Posted by
beetle
18 yrs ago
We have a DH who started only 3 months ago and who had recently indicated that she "may" have to go back to the Philippines permanently in a few months with little notice due to a change in family situation. She has indicated that she won't know until the last minute, but isn't sure yet...
My dilemma is that I am expecting a new baby about that time and that would be the worst possible time for her to leave. I also have a toddler to look after. I can't reasonably take her indication of "possibly" leaving as notice because she isn't sure yet and we were generally satisfied with her work performance up to this point so would like her to stay.
I am truly at a crossroads as to whether I should terminate her and train another helper who would be just up to speed at the time the baby is due OR if I should play Russian roulette and just wait and see.
Help!
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Hi beetle
we had a similar situation just these days.
Our helper has been with us for almost two years and we were discussing about renewing her contract. As our second child is due in June and the current contract was about to expire in May, we wanted to know whether she would stay on or not. Unfortunately she was not willing to tell us now whether she would. We have been generally very happy with her but playing "russian roulette" was not what we wanted to do. Ultimately we had to protect ourselves and play safe in this situation.
We were definitaly not willing to train someone new only one month before the baby is due.
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HK2
18 yrs ago
Hi,
sometimes, the helpers are not very honest or don't know how to be upfront. they may actually just be afraid of the additional work that second baby will bring. so they come up with other reasons why they may not renew or why they have to leave.
perhaps can try asking them if this might be the real reason. .. and then see if it can be sorted out by say, hiring part time help to ease the workload for the first few months?
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july8
18 yrs ago
In this situation,you must plan for YOUR life,generally if a helper says I'm not sure, she have already well decided,speak with her if maibe is saing that because she wants a raise of her salary;otherwise find someone else straight away also because now with the new emploiment rules it will take longer than before to hire a new helper.
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july8
18 yrs ago
By the way in the employment contract it should be written that you are expecting,so why should she be surprised of your new family situation?
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My husband also thought that the idea of a new baby may be her concern but it doesn't make sense to me since she had no incentive (and to me, actually a strategic disincentive) to reveal the "possibility" of her leaving in advance. We found out we were expecting a bit later than usual so this was not in the employment contract but that should not matter in the natural course of things. I am perplexed because our DH's primary duties are housekeeping and cooking and as a stay-at-home mom I am the primary caregiver to my children except for babysitting very occasional afternoons or evenings. This was clear from the beginning. I don't think she should expect me to be less hands on with the new baby. Of course with an addition to any household there would be more work generally but our schedule is not unreasonable. My toddler attends preschool 5 mornings as well.
(Sigh.)
In any case I plan to speak to her tonight.
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My husband also thought that the idea of a new baby may be her concern but it doesn't make sense to me since she had no incentive (and to me, actually a strategic disincentive) to reveal the "possibility" of her leaving in advance. We found out we were expecting a bit later than usual so this was not in the employment contract but that should not matter in the natural course of things. I am perplexed because our DH's primary duties are housekeeping and cooking and as a stay-at-home mom I am the primary caregiver to my children except for babysitting very occasional afternoons or evenings. This was clear from the beginning. I don't think she should expect me to be less hands on with the new baby. Of course with an addition to any household there would be more work generally but our schedule is not unreasonable. My toddler attends preschool 5 mornings as well.
(Sigh.)
In any case I plan to speak to her tonight.
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crj
18 yrs ago
Hi
We have a one year old, and number 2 is coming the end of March.
Our DH of 4 years resigned in December with one month notice as she was 60 years old and wanted to retire.
We hired a new helper, but after one month I just terminated her - although she was very good with baby, she was SLOW and had no time to cook (I do work full time so really need a helper who can manage the house).
So I have a new helper starting the end of Feb, with the baby due end of March. And am still trying to hire a second helper.
It is not ideal, but at least it is a month before baby comes rather than a month after.
If you helper cannot committ 100% you are better off taking action to protect yourself rather than be left in the lurch later.
BTW - I have been interviewing helpers from AsiaXPat and I can only hire one who does not have to go back to Phils as I need them to start ASAP, but if you can wait 8 weeks, then there are some great options - check out Aileen, I so wish I could have hired her!
Aileen Potente
Telephone: 9853 7119
Good luck with conversation tonight, and just remember - better to resolve now than be uncertain or have a problem later!
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